After four productive sessions with my new therapist, I’m happy to report that one of his suggestions is working like a charm for me.
His advice was simple: stop focusing on the entire project and start breaking goals into ridiculously small, bite-sized tasks.
I’ve heard variations of this advice before. Most of us have. But for whatever reason, this time it’s finally clicking. And hopefully sticking.
My brain has a talent for turning one task into twenty. Writing a blog post can quickly become “launching a successful publication.” Cleaning the apartment often becomes “Marie Kondo my life.” And answering email can easily become “catching up on every unread email in my inbox.”
No wonder I get stuck. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. Maybe you too, boo?
The problem isn’t usually the task itself. It’s the mental weight we attach to it.
Lately, instead of telling myself to “write a blog post,” I’ll tell myself to open the document and write the date.
Instead of cleaning the apartment, I’ll put away five things.
Instead of tackling an entire project, I’ll spend ten minutes on one tiny piece of it.
Ironically, once I get started, I usually keep on going. The hardest part wasn’t the work. It was convincing myself to start.
Through this process, I’m realizing there are two kinds of breaking down. There’s the kind where stress, anxiety, and overwhelm leave you frozen and exhausted. Then there’s the kind where you break a goal into tasks so tiny it’s easier to do them than not do them.
One leaves you stuck. The other moves you forward.
It’s not exactly a revolutionary productivity hack. It’s more like a minor mind trick. A gentle act of deception aimed at the most stubborn person I know: me.
And so far, it’s working.
Some days, the progress still looks embarrassingly small. A few paragraphs written. A handful of dishes washed. One phone call made. One item crossed off a to-do list.
What I’m learning is that big accomplishments are usually just small accomplishments stacked on top of each other. We tend to celebrate the finished book, the clean apartment, the successful business, the major life change. We rarely see all the tiny steps that made those things possible.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m standing on solid ground and moving forward. Inch by inch. And bird by bird.
Keep calm and keep trying!
Clint 🌈✌️
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Good read and yes, I do the same thing (on occasions) lol
Clint, Your humor always shines through: "I’m realizing there are two kinds of breaking down." I also like: I also think it is important to know that: "What I’m learning is that big accomplishments are usually just small accomplishments stacked on top of each other."
I am pretty good at accomplishing things (should be after 81 years!) but often when there are things I do not enjoy doing or that I find boring, it is easier to postpone or to not do them! Then sometimes I make it worse by telling myself, "I am 81 years old and I do not have to do what I don't want to do!" But that doesn't work too well when the things that do not get done NEED to get done or they just pile up and become more intimidating!
Hopefully your therapists words will stick (funny how sometimes the same advice is meaninful and sticks and then sometimes it isn't. Not to be negative, but you will probably forget these words of wisdom and revert back to previous bahaviors. WE ALL DO IT! So my advice is make a sign that will remind you in case you forget!
"Here's to many more small accomplishemnts to be stacked up!"
Fondly, Michael