After four productive sessions with my new therapist, I’m happy to report that one of his suggestions is working like a charm for me.
His advice was simple: stop focusing on the entire project and start breaking goals into ridiculously small, bite-sized tasks.
I’ve heard variations of this advice before. Most of us have. But for whatever reason, this time it’s finally clicking. And hopefully sticking.
My brain has a talent for turning one task into twenty. Writing a blog post can quickly become “launching a successful publication.” Cleaning the apartment often becomes “Marie Kondo my life.” And answering email can easily become “catching up on every unread email in my inbox.”
No wonder I get stuck. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. Maybe you too, boo?
The problem isn’t usually the task itself. It’s the mental weight we attach to it.
Lately, instead of telling myself to “write a blog post,” I’ll tell myself to open the document and write the date.
Instead of cleaning the apartment, I’ll put away five things.
Instead of tackling an entire project, I’ll spend ten minutes on one tiny piece of it.
Ironically, once I get started, I usually keep on going. The hardest part wasn’t the work. It was convincing myself to start.
Through this process, I’m realizing there are two kinds of breaking down. There’s the kind where stress, anxiety, and overwhelm leave you frozen and exhausted. Then there’s the kind where you break a goal into tasks so tiny it’s easier to do them than not do them.
One leaves you stuck. The other moves you forward.
It’s not exactly a revolutionary productivity hack. It’s more like a minor mind trick. A gentle act of deception aimed at the most stubborn person I know: me.
And so far, it’s working.
Some days, the progress still looks embarrassingly small. A few paragraphs written. A handful of dishes washed. One phone call made. One item crossed off a to-do list.
What I’m learning is that big accomplishments are usually just small accomplishments stacked on top of each other. We tend to celebrate the finished book, the clean apartment, the successful business, the major life change. We rarely see all the tiny steps that made those things possible.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m standing on solid ground and moving forward. Inch by inch. And bird by bird.
Keep calm and keep trying!
Clint 🌈✌️
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Autistic folks (of which I'm sure I'm one) reportedly do well when their significant others help them name the smallest first step for a process or a goal to help them get started. Lacking a significant other, I have to do that for myself. I manage to do that about every other day. Helps if I took some pain meds.
Moving at all is its own special kind of challenge, going places, doing errands, seeing people, calling them, etc. For instance, I always prefer to type something rather than get on the phone and talk to whoever I ought to communicate with. And so on. Seems to me you got the right therapist, or so I hope. Keep on keepin' on, amigo.
Isn't it interesting and maybe a little surprising that, when the time is right, a simple suggestion falls into place? "I knew it already but ignored it." A journey of a thousand steps begins with only one step.
Well done, dear! Baby steps or leaps forward, it's all about moving forward.