What's Up, Doc?

My Pre-Check-In Check-In

IF ONLY MY DOCTOR HAD THESE EYES…

I need to leave for my doctor’s office soon. And I just don’t wanna!

As the grandson of a licensed vocational nurse, you’d think I would have a healthier relationship with doctors. You might think I would appreciate preventative care, routine checkups, and all the things responsible adults are supposedly excited about once they hit middle age.

But nope. I’ve hated going to the doctor for as long as I can remember.

Part of my disdain goes back to childhood. My pediatricians always seemed annoyed that they had to work with kids. Yes, pediatricians. From my point of view, they were pompous, dismissive assholes who talked over me, rushed through appointments, and somehow managed to make every visit feel like I was inconveniencing them personally.

Their office staff wasn’t much better. Nobody smiled. Nobody explained anything. The whole experience felt clinical and costly.

And honestly, adult medicine isn’t much better.

This morning’s adventure is my six-month high blood pressure check-in.

Technically, my current doctor wants to see me every three months. Technically, they would probably prefer monthly visits if my insurance company would pay for it. But given that my premiums have nearly doubled, my copays keep creeping upward, and the overall cost of living in America keeps skyrocketing, every six months is going to have to be good enough.

You know a system is broken when there are as many (if not more) people handling medical billing as there are actually delivering healthcare.

Entire industries now exist just to navigate insurance codes, deny claims, negotiate payments, and translate the incomprehensible bureaucracy of American medicine. Meanwhile, patients wait weeks for appointments, ration prescriptions, and panic over bills they can’t afford.

And then the media acts shocked when somebody like Luigi Mangione becomes a folk hero to frustrated, exhausted people who feel trapped inside a system designed to drain them financially before it helps them medically.

LUIGI MANGIONE

Meanwhile, we’re all supposed to pretend this is normal.

While healthcare and pharmaceutical companies post record profits, regular people are out here spacing out appointments, delaying treatments, and stretching medications like rationed supplies during wartime.

Thanks, Chump-In-Chief. The brain-dead, greedy, self-serving motherfucker really has managed to make nearly every aspect of American life more expensive, more chaotic, and more exhausting. And it’s not just healthcare costs. It’s everything.

The tariffs. The gas prices. The goddamn ballroom. The constant economic instability that somehow always lands hardest on people already struggling to stay afloat.

Every trip to the grocery store comes with sticker shock.
Every utility bill arrives with the dread of a jury summons.

So yes, part of my reluctance this morning is the usual medical anxiety. But layered on top of that is the financial pressure. The exhaustion, too. Exhaustion from living in a country where taking care of yourself increasingly feels like a luxury purchase instead of a basic human right.

Still, I will go.

Even if the waiting room television is tuned to a “news” station designed to increase blood pressure. Even if somebody coughs without covering their mouth. Even if I leave wondering why a ten-minute conversation costs more than my first car payment.

Still, I will go.

Because high blood pressure runs in my family. Because ignoring problems doesn’t make them disappear. Because despite my lifelong grudge against the medical profession, I’m trying to participate in this radical concept known as “remaining alive.”

I will go. Reluctantly. Bitterly even. Still, I will go.

Keep calm and remember to take your medicine!
Clint 🌈✌️

COLLIDE PRESS is a reader-supported publication.
Please consider becoming a Paid Subscriber or Patron.

MAY OFFER = 25% OFF ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS
thru 05-31-26

NEW + NOW PLAYING

---

FYC = FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

• 7 Queer Spaces That Taught Me A New Meaning Of Home
  (by Aidan Wharton @ Gay Buffet)

• A Review of ‘Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody’
  (by Matthew Rettenmund @ BOYCULTURE)

---

FROM THE ARCHIVES

---

BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY

• 05-28 = Corine Mauch (1960- ) = Swiss politician 🌈

---

MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY

JUSTIN KIRK

“I know the one time I tried therapy, I did after a month or two, and I only lasted a few months, because I started to worry about being entertaining. I kept driving there once a week for an hour and I’m thinking ‘What am I going to talk about today?’”
Justin Kirk