I need to leave for my doctor’s office soon. And I just don’t wanna!
As the grandson of a licensed vocational nurse, you’d think I would have a healthier relationship with doctors. You might think I would appreciate preventative care, routine checkups, and all the things responsible adults are supposedly excited about once they hit middle age.
But nope. I’ve hated going to the doctor for as long as I can remember.
Part of my disdain goes back to childhood. My pediatricians always seemed annoyed that they had to work with kids. Yes, pediatricians. From my point of view, they were pompous, dismissive assholes who talked over me, rushed through appointments, and somehow managed to make every visit feel like I was inconveniencing them personally.
Their office staff wasn’t much better. Nobody smiled. Nobody explained anything. The whole experience felt clinical and costly.
And honestly, adult medicine isn’t much better.
This morning’s adventure is my six-month high blood pressure check-in.
Technically, my current doctor wants to see me every three months. Technically, they would probably prefer monthly visits if my insurance company would pay for it. But given that my premiums have nearly doubled, my copays keep creeping upward, and the overall cost of living in America keeps skyrocketing, every six months is going to have to be good enough.
You know a system is broken when there are as many (if not more) people handling medical billing as there are actually delivering healthcare.
Entire industries now exist just to navigate insurance codes, deny claims, negotiate payments, and translate the incomprehensible bureaucracy of American medicine. Meanwhile, patients wait weeks for appointments, ration prescriptions, and panic over bills they can’t afford.
And then the media acts shocked when somebody like Luigi Mangione becomes a folk hero to frustrated, exhausted people who feel trapped inside a system designed to drain them financially before it helps them medically.
Meanwhile, we’re all supposed to pretend this is normal.
While healthcare and pharmaceutical companies post record profits, regular people are out here spacing out appointments, delaying treatments, and stretching medications like rationed supplies during wartime.
Thanks, Chump-In-Chief. The brain-dead, greedy, self-serving motherfucker really has managed to make nearly every aspect of American life more expensive, more chaotic, and more exhausting. And it’s not just healthcare costs. It’s everything.
The tariffs. The gas prices. The goddamn ballroom. The constant economic instability that somehow always lands hardest on people already struggling to stay afloat.
Every trip to the grocery store comes with sticker shock.
Every utility bill arrives with the dread of a jury summons.
So yes, part of my reluctance this morning is the usual medical anxiety. But layered on top of that is the financial pressure. The exhaustion, too. Exhaustion from living in a country where taking care of yourself increasingly feels like a luxury purchase instead of a basic human right.
Still, I will go.
Even if the waiting room television is tuned to a “news” station designed to increase blood pressure. Even if somebody coughs without covering their mouth. Even if I leave wondering why a ten-minute conversation costs more than my first car payment.
Still, I will go.
Because high blood pressure runs in my family. Because ignoring problems doesn’t make them disappear. Because despite my lifelong grudge against the medical profession, I’m trying to participate in this radical concept known as “remaining alive.”
I will go. Reluctantly. Bitterly even. Still, I will go.
Keep calm and remember to take your medicine!
Clint 🌈✌️
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MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“I know the one time I tried therapy, I did after a month or two, and I only lasted a few months, because I started to worry about being entertaining. I kept driving there once a week for an hour and I’m thinking ‘What am I going to talk about today?’”
Justin Kirk
Lucky me, I'm with the VA and its genuinely focused and concerned staff, and thanks to a small disability (hearing) from my time on an aircraft carrier, I don't pay very much--when I do. If I had to rely on insurance, I'm pretty sure I'd be six feet under right now. Especially since you have to chase the MDs when they resign just for access to your medical records. I worked for an electronic medical insurance processor at one time, and learned something about how byzantine and overcomplicated the whole business was. I feel your pain.
Now dentists? I've got my first appointment in about 40 years next week. A filling fell out of my teeth. Put it down to overexposure. As a kid I had two rows of teeth because my baby teeth decided to stick around for the ride. I saw a lot of dentists, including one who poured fluoride over my teeth onto cotton thingies. Probably dropped my IQ by a bunch of points (as it is alleged to do). Frankly, the whole medical situation, here and elsewhere is scary crazy and the patient is a part of the machine, not the point of it at all. Stop the carousel; I want to get off!
My career was as a hospital Pharmacist , specifically a Pharmacy Director. So I have worked in healthcare most of my adult life starting around 1980. I have noticed a lot of change in healthcare over the years. Back then there was a lot of the God complex with doctors. These days it seems more like you have to take charge of your own care. I go into appointments with ideas and suggestions and they are always paid attention to by my doctors. I’m just glad I have healthcare knowledge and can make sure things stay on track. I hope you have friends who do have healthcare experience that you can talk to and get opinions. As far as the blood pressure checks, I would tell them I’m tracking it at home and if it trends upward, I’ll call you. Otherwise, I’ll see you in a year. Oh and by the way, Medicare is great. Can anybody say Medicare for all?