I met Allan only once, about which more in a moment. I saw him perform several times. He was an astonishingly magnetic performer, able to hold an audience (and me) with the barest of things, like when he played a harmonium and chanted (in all sorts of rhythms) the word "generosity" over and over again for maybe 3/4 of an hour.
I met Allan only once, about which more in a moment. I saw him perform several times. He was an astonishingly magnetic performer, able to hold an audience (and me) with the barest of things, like when he played a harmonium and chanted (in all sorts of rhythms) the word "generosity" over and over again for maybe 3/4 of an hour.
He came back from something with my grad school roommate, with whom I imagine he might have had a wee fling. The minute he saw me he lit into me, railing against something or other that he perceived. Somehow, I didn't take it personally or develop a dislike for him in turn, though it didn't enhance my view of the man himself. I was just sitting there, on the floor, studying when they came in. Soon after, they both left.
Now that I think about it, his aversion to me reminds me of the instant aversion some of my customer service customers took to me, while others asked for me specifically. Can't explain chemistry. He lived large, appeared to have enough extraversion for thousands, his friends were loyal throughout his and their lives (so he must have been loyal), and he was faithful to the Tibetan Buddhist practice he adopted mid-life. Much to admire.
You too? I've had people hate me on sight quite a bit over the years. What's funny is that it frequently happens BEFORE we have any interaction. I've no idea why myself, but a few friends and coworkers have suggested the same thing: I test out two standard deviations below the mean on a few psych traits and the people who hate me on sight tend to present as very high in those traits. Weirder still, the hatred is personal and visceral. They act as if my mere presence is an unprovoked attack of some kind. It's very odd.
Oh, yeah. I’ve had it happen to me and do it myself. Only occasionally do I get the “nope” vibes about someone, but when I do, I tend to go with my instincts. I TRY to keep this Dolly Parton quote in mind…but admit I’m a ways off from living up to her example:
“When I meet someone, I look at their eyes and their smile and seek out the good first - it's easy to find when you're looking for it. You let a person shine with their own light and try to connect it to yours. As soon as I say hello, I go right to that light and I don't care who you are! I know we're all pieces of the same thing - I go for that common light because I know it's in all of us.”
Yes, it happens. I don't know your "deviation from the norm" but it definitely happens. I'm a non-extravert by a considerable margin, among other things. Apparently this is a threat to some people.
Wow...what an interesting story. I wonder if he might have seen you as "competition" for your roommate's affection or attention. He strikes me as needing to be the center of the storm. A bit of a Pied Piper. He seemed to have a few truly complex relationships, mostly because so many saw him as the "leader" of the Beats. From my brief reading a few, including Kerouac, distanced themselves from the label because of it. That said, public people are still people...and personality chemistry is a mystery I'll never understand. I've been on both sides of that interaction. Sometimes at the same time! lol Cuz gay men...we can be bitchy af to each other. :-p
I spent part of a year working for Carol Berge, credibly also part of the Beats, and she had a deep hatred of...lots of things. Lovey-dovey she was not. But Ginsberg was her particular bete noir. And one of my teachers in grad school was also part of the beat movement but favorable to Allan. So in a way I've been surrounded by the beats. I think perhaps they helped open things up for the rest of us for a decade or two. But I'm not confident there won't be a serious "Victorian Age" movement in the near future...
Wasn't familiar with Ms. Berge, but even a quick scan of her Wikipedia leads me to believe she was...something else. I'm sure Ginsberg shared a similar opinion of her. As for the possibility of a "Victorian Age," I think we're already seeing some signs of it. The pendulum of time...is slow but steady. For every action, there's usually an equal and opposite reaction. Progress is hard. Cuz...zucking human nature. :-p
I met Allan only once, about which more in a moment. I saw him perform several times. He was an astonishingly magnetic performer, able to hold an audience (and me) with the barest of things, like when he played a harmonium and chanted (in all sorts of rhythms) the word "generosity" over and over again for maybe 3/4 of an hour.
He came back from something with my grad school roommate, with whom I imagine he might have had a wee fling. The minute he saw me he lit into me, railing against something or other that he perceived. Somehow, I didn't take it personally or develop a dislike for him in turn, though it didn't enhance my view of the man himself. I was just sitting there, on the floor, studying when they came in. Soon after, they both left.
Now that I think about it, his aversion to me reminds me of the instant aversion some of my customer service customers took to me, while others asked for me specifically. Can't explain chemistry. He lived large, appeared to have enough extraversion for thousands, his friends were loyal throughout his and their lives (so he must have been loyal), and he was faithful to the Tibetan Buddhist practice he adopted mid-life. Much to admire.
You too? I've had people hate me on sight quite a bit over the years. What's funny is that it frequently happens BEFORE we have any interaction. I've no idea why myself, but a few friends and coworkers have suggested the same thing: I test out two standard deviations below the mean on a few psych traits and the people who hate me on sight tend to present as very high in those traits. Weirder still, the hatred is personal and visceral. They act as if my mere presence is an unprovoked attack of some kind. It's very odd.
Oh, yeah. I’ve had it happen to me and do it myself. Only occasionally do I get the “nope” vibes about someone, but when I do, I tend to go with my instincts. I TRY to keep this Dolly Parton quote in mind…but admit I’m a ways off from living up to her example:
“When I meet someone, I look at their eyes and their smile and seek out the good first - it's easy to find when you're looking for it. You let a person shine with their own light and try to connect it to yours. As soon as I say hello, I go right to that light and I don't care who you are! I know we're all pieces of the same thing - I go for that common light because I know it's in all of us.”
Yes, it happens. I don't know your "deviation from the norm" but it definitely happens. I'm a non-extravert by a considerable margin, among other things. Apparently this is a threat to some people.
Wow...what an interesting story. I wonder if he might have seen you as "competition" for your roommate's affection or attention. He strikes me as needing to be the center of the storm. A bit of a Pied Piper. He seemed to have a few truly complex relationships, mostly because so many saw him as the "leader" of the Beats. From my brief reading a few, including Kerouac, distanced themselves from the label because of it. That said, public people are still people...and personality chemistry is a mystery I'll never understand. I've been on both sides of that interaction. Sometimes at the same time! lol Cuz gay men...we can be bitchy af to each other. :-p
I spent part of a year working for Carol Berge, credibly also part of the Beats, and she had a deep hatred of...lots of things. Lovey-dovey she was not. But Ginsberg was her particular bete noir. And one of my teachers in grad school was also part of the beat movement but favorable to Allan. So in a way I've been surrounded by the beats. I think perhaps they helped open things up for the rest of us for a decade or two. But I'm not confident there won't be a serious "Victorian Age" movement in the near future...
Wasn't familiar with Ms. Berge, but even a quick scan of her Wikipedia leads me to believe she was...something else. I'm sure Ginsberg shared a similar opinion of her. As for the possibility of a "Victorian Age," I think we're already seeing some signs of it. The pendulum of time...is slow but steady. For every action, there's usually an equal and opposite reaction. Progress is hard. Cuz...zucking human nature. :-p
"Something else." That's all one can say without being unkind, I think. Nicely put.
Hahaha. I was raised in the South, so being "nice" comes with a side of biscuits and gravy. And a double-helping of "Bless Her Heart." :-)