I've found that people who advise you to 'let it go' usually make two assumptions. One is that the thing you let go of stays where you left it. The other is that the damage caused by the thing mystically, magically undoes/repairs itself. More often than not, neither of those things is the case.
What I've found works pretty well is to let it go with the expectation it or the sequalae will reappear and that (more importantly) I don't have an obligation to respond no matter how many people say otherwise.
My sympathy. I know very well the difference between someone helpfully pointing something out and an a**hole. I've had enough of the latter as bosses.
I had a friend, now long since deceased, who had the gift of pointing out deficiencies at high-end hotel and restaurant service in such a way that they fell over themselves to THANK him! He got comped meals, rooms, and for all I know more. He was very welcome the next times they saw him, too. He understood my social deficiencies and found them amusing in a good way (hard to believe). I miss that rascal!
Tact is an art form. One I can muster, but nothing like your dear friend. He sounds delightful. My condolences for you loss. Keep sharing stories about him though. I'm sure he'd approve. :-)
I've found that people who advise you to 'let it go' usually make two assumptions. One is that the thing you let go of stays where you left it. The other is that the damage caused by the thing mystically, magically undoes/repairs itself. More often than not, neither of those things is the case.
What I've found works pretty well is to let it go with the expectation it or the sequalae will reappear and that (more importantly) I don't have an obligation to respond no matter how many people say otherwise.
My sympathy. I know very well the difference between someone helpfully pointing something out and an a**hole. I've had enough of the latter as bosses.
I had a friend, now long since deceased, who had the gift of pointing out deficiencies at high-end hotel and restaurant service in such a way that they fell over themselves to THANK him! He got comped meals, rooms, and for all I know more. He was very welcome the next times they saw him, too. He understood my social deficiencies and found them amusing in a good way (hard to believe). I miss that rascal!
Tact is an art form. One I can muster, but nothing like your dear friend. He sounds delightful. My condolences for you loss. Keep sharing stories about him though. I'm sure he'd approve. :-)
🫂🫂🫂 now go and have a 🍺or🍵 Cheers DougT 🇫🇴
Hugs back and cheers! Gotta find some photos to make a new montage. I’m behind on YT videos. lol