Public Speaking Makes My Tummy Hurt š¤¢
Talking Out Loud + Out Proud
Last night, I did a thing.
I spoke at a Pride event.
A first for me.
In case you didnāt know, I am not a fan of public speaking. Like, not even a little. My stomach revolts. My brain short-circuits. My mouth forgets how to sentence.
I love talking and writing, but presenting and speaking? Not my cups of tea.
But I am a big fan of my best friend Drewāthe kind of friend youād do just about anything for, including saying yes to a crowd, a mic, and a stage.
A few months ago, he asked me to speak at a Pride celebration he was organizing at his church. Yes, you heard me right: I went to a Church, to attend a Pride event, to do some Public Speaking. For some, thatās a Holy Trinity. For me, itās a trio of things I avoid like the plague.
But love can make you brave (or stupid), and I said yes long before my brain had a chance to panic. So there I was, sweating like a whore in church (literallyāit was nearly 90 degrees outside when I arrived), clutching my notes, and trying not to barf.
And you know what?
It wasā¦okay. Like, actually okay. Not just āsurvived itā okay, but meaningful, affirming, and worth-it okay. Good enough even.
Sure, my voice shook at first. Sure, I read most of it because my brain went fuzzy. But I showed up. I spoke from the heart. And afterward, I got to celebrate with a room of beautifully queer folk and kind-hearted allies who clapped, hugged, and shared their own stories.
Turns out, Church, Pride, and Public Speaking didnāt kill me after all.
In fact, they left me feeling a little lighter. A little more seen. A little more connected.
Sometimes the most nerve-wracking things end up being the most nourishing.
Iām proud I did it.
Iām prouder still that I didnāt throw up.
Keep calm and carry on!
Clint šāļø
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FOR YOUR (SUBSTACK) CONSIDERATION
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I Was a Teenage-Magazine Editor (
)Queer Visibility in 1970s New York (
)Top Ten TV Series So Far in 2025 (
)Sir Isaac Julienās Queer Diasporic Cinema (
)
ON THIS DAY = JUNE 28
BIRTHDAYS
1577 = Peter Paul Rubens = Flemish painter and diplomat
1712 = Jean-Jacques Rousseau = Swiss philosopher and polymath
1902 = Richard Rodgers = American playwright and composer
1917 = A. E. Hotchner = American author and playwright
1926 = George Booth = American cartoonist
1926 = Mel Brooks = American actor and filmmaker
1932 = Pat Morita = American actor
1942 = David Kopay = American football player š
1946 = Gilda Radner = American actor and comedian
1948 = Kathy Bates = American actor
1966 = John Cusack = American actor and screenwriter
1967 = Gil Bellows = Canadian actor and producer
1968 = Chayanne = Puerto Rican-American singer-songwriter and actor
1969 = Tichina Arnold = American actor and singer
1970 = Mike White = American actor and filmmaker š
1971 = Aileen Quinn = American actor and singer
1972 = Sunil Babu Pant = Nepalese politician and activist š
1989 = Markiplier = American YouTuber, filmmaker, and actor
EVENTS
1838 = Coronation of Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom.
1841 = The Paris Opera Ballet premieres Giselle in the Salle Le Peletier.
1855 = Sigma Chi fraternity is founded in North America.
1926 = Mercedes-Benz is formed by Gottlieb Daimler and Karl Benz merging their two companies.
1969 = Late night and into the early morning hours the next day, patrons of the Stonewall Inn fight back during a police raid, sparking six days of riots and the beginning of the modern Gay Rights Movement.
1970 = Christopher Street Liberation Day marks the first anniversary of the Stonewall riots in New York City with the first Gay Rights Parade in US History.
1970 = Los Angeles celebrates the Stonewall anniversary with a march down Hollywood Boulevard that draws about 2,000 people.
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
PORTRAIT + QUOTES OF THE DAY
āAs you get older, you realize just figuring out how to be nice to the people in your personal sphere is almost more challenging than trying to change the bigger culture.ā
Mike White
āMy favorite thing is being able to follow my inspiration, and the freedom of being a writer is hard to beat.ā
Mike White
Good for you! Your experience reminded me of my own "stage fright", which I suffered from for the longest time. It started when I was around 8 or 9, when I had to play piano before a roomful of my peers and their parents. I couldn't do it. It was awful and it traumatized me for life. Then as a teacher I had to stand in front of kids and "perform" on a daily basis. That helped a lot. As time passed the anxiety associated with speaking in public lessened significantly.
And Iām so grateful that you came out, shared, and celebrated with us! Your second coming out? Third maybe? š¤
Whoās counting. š¤Ŗ
But truly, as early as it was in your brave journey back into yourself, I was completely prepared for the āNah, not for meā response.
I think that you may have accomplished for yourself that which keeps our hearts beating, keeps us aware, and connectedāthat we can still surprise ourselves.
Showing up and sharing honestly and authentically bares a vulnerable side. Thank you for your courage to do that, Nerd. I know it wasnāt easy and Iām glad it was worth it. š