The video on "queer" had come up on my YT feed but I chose not to watch it because I felt that he and I would agree. Having watched it, I am totally aligned with what he says in the video.
I came out, other than earlier to my family, in 1972 as i was completing my professional qualifications as a clinical psychologist. Some of my professors and fellow students urged me to have aversion therapy - they meant it quite caringly. I refused. I was homosexual - an adjective referring to my sexual attraction, not a noun and not an identity.
I joined the Campaign for Homosexual Equality (CHE) which had urged the change in criminal law in 1967. It was an integrative group but I did mix with peopIe with a more militant and separatist view. I then got elected to the executive committee and re-elected until 1977. I was part of the international conference that decided that decided to be more inclusive and use LGTB as the umbrella term. I would then refer to myself as gay again as an adjective not a noun.
I was carrying out my doctoral research, very part-time, while working in general mental health but specialising in LGBT affirmative approaches. I saw many clients, including 4 MTF and 2 FTM trans individuals, during those five years.
My theoretical, academic and philosphical/political approach was ingrationist as I saw (and see) dimensions and scales rather than categorical boxes. For me, someone could be 5%, 23% 74% gay/lesbian is the adjectival description of their sexuality. I saw a range of gender positions from fluid, non-binary, gender non-conforming to trans. Again, adjectives and non-categorical. All of this was consistent with my PhD thesis in 1981.
Consequently, I have rejected the idea of labels though I don't mind people taking on a label for themselves. I can iunderstand people wanting to have an identity but homosexual, gay or queer does identify me or limit me.
Queer was an insult to me - as was puff, nancy-boy, pansy, bumboy or whatever. I still don't like it - unconventional would be more appropriate but I don't want that label either. Gay wasn't accurate. Most people whom I saw in clinics (or outside) were not happy little bunnies. Homophobia still lives and breathes. People still get imprisoned or executed for being different. I don't see people as different though we are all individuals, unique.
Is a teenage boy who wanks with other bouys at 13 or 14 just exploring or experiementing? Is a homie who gives bro-jobs to other homies when they are both intoxicated, not "gay" if they keep their socks on?
It doesn't make sense to me to say that eveyone is bi, any more than it is useful to say everyone is gay or straight.
I have to be sensitive and accept the fact that most people have an unsophisticated view of sex and gender. Some see some words as insulting, others want a more comfortable word as an umbrella, some people want to challenge and fight the norm of heterosexuality, some of us want to see all people as fellow humans, brothers and sisters, whatever their colour, ability/disability, sexual preferences, gender, sex, religion, political beliefs and so on.
Thank you, Ray, for the thoughtful reply and share. It’s heart-warming to see the evolution of both our understandings of gender and sexuality as well as our vocabulary to talk about them. You’ve helped me clarify my own preference for “queer.” I’m a gay guy, but I suspect if nonbinary had been part of my vocabulary earlier in life I might have adopted it. Don’t feel strongly about my own gender identity, but I know I’m drawn to men like a moth to a flame. From Southern Baptist Sissy to Who’s He?!….that’s me. :-)
Our mutuality and reciprocity is vlued by me. If I am still evolving then I am sure that you are still following your pathway. The idea of "Man" when I was young was quite toxic and I rejected it, without claiming to be "woman". I am psychologically anfrogynous for sure but I also see the non-toxic and gentle, loving vulnerability of men, too, - as is evidenced in some of my comments on your creations. I am more comfortable being the kind of man that I am.
When Ann was Treasurer of Texas and managing the orderly and responsible shut-down of the Office of Treasurer and transfer of its functions to the Comptroller of Public Accounts, she took advantage of the travel allowance for elected officials to visit people across Texas, including a group of Gays and Lesbians gathered in response to a letter from the Treasurer's Office inviting just that. She came to one of our homes (nice, but not large) and engaged with friendly smart questions about what was important to us "right here on the South Plains," showing knowledge of our geography, geology, economy and environmental determinism that makes people and societies the ways they are. With a stated time limit in place, of course, she stayed well past that for the whole evening conversing easily and smartly with everyone there. That won my loyalty to her forever.
. I moved back to Austin just in time for her to be elected governor, and then after the voters made a serious mistake, she moved into my neighborhood. After several years she moved across Lamar but still close, and Albert and I were returning home when we stopped at the light at 9th and Lamar. I mentioned that Ann had moved into the building to our left and that Texas and Texans would be so much better if she had been re-elected; and Albert pointed out that she was standing right there on the sidewalk waiting to cross Lamar. I gasped and stated that she was still beautiful. She smiled.
. As Governor, her staff were loyal to Texas, Texans, The Ann Richards Administration and intensely to her; resulting in no leaks at all from the Governor's Office. All communication was agreed on, and there was transparency.
. She is now gone to the next life and I am gone from Austin. Thanks be to God.
I don’t talk—in detail—about my personal life, but let’s just say I LOVE ME SOME ANN RICHARDS. I grew up in Texas and can thank her for promoting Texas for film/tv production so much. While I was in college, one of her nieces was a classmate and “Auntie” called while we were studying one night. She asked to talk to my classmate’s “tutor.” While I wasn’t a tutor, I was so excited to talk to the governor I happily took the receiver and we carried on for 10-15 minutes. She was charming, funny, and supportive. And oh so very generous of her time and attention. I truly miss her and often read articles by Molly Ivins about that era when I’m feeling homesick.
Well Clint, 👏🎉 that's more than I can do. I'm still struggling with my 2 tin cans joined by tight string as my mobile communicator (we really did that as kids playing out)🧐 I even had a play wrist watch where the 'hands' were permanently fixed at 10 mins to 2 so it could only be advanced for only 20 mins at any point in time 😁 Now I've got a grown up solar powered Citizen wrist watch. Beats my old Swiss Rotary automatic winding analogue one, no more flicking the wrist (that sounds 😮) to keep the spring wound up. Hope this monologue cheers everyone up. Cheers DougT 🇫🇴
Keep keeping it real and analog, Doug. But you’re far from tech than you wanna believe. There I said it. As for the string cans as phones, I too used them. I hope kids today have that experience. Not everything needs to be done via a device or platform. :-)
We natural Brits are good at self-deprecating ourself, however let someone else try it and it's all out warfare 😁 Now having said that I did try to post a YT short on SS on
my own and I'm not sure if it's been linked or appears as it should on SS 🥴
Where did you post it, dear? On Notes or in a comment? I haven't seen it so far. As for self-deprecating, I think we Americans got that from the motherland. :-)
Oh boy…I remember seeing you left a video link in the comments recently. And have one in my email to watch too. So I think either way I saw it. In case you haven’t realized, I’m terrible (Muriel) at names and keeping track of threads. lol
The video on "queer" had come up on my YT feed but I chose not to watch it because I felt that he and I would agree. Having watched it, I am totally aligned with what he says in the video.
I came out, other than earlier to my family, in 1972 as i was completing my professional qualifications as a clinical psychologist. Some of my professors and fellow students urged me to have aversion therapy - they meant it quite caringly. I refused. I was homosexual - an adjective referring to my sexual attraction, not a noun and not an identity.
I joined the Campaign for Homosexual Equality (CHE) which had urged the change in criminal law in 1967. It was an integrative group but I did mix with peopIe with a more militant and separatist view. I then got elected to the executive committee and re-elected until 1977. I was part of the international conference that decided that decided to be more inclusive and use LGTB as the umbrella term. I would then refer to myself as gay again as an adjective not a noun.
I was carrying out my doctoral research, very part-time, while working in general mental health but specialising in LGBT affirmative approaches. I saw many clients, including 4 MTF and 2 FTM trans individuals, during those five years.
My theoretical, academic and philosphical/political approach was ingrationist as I saw (and see) dimensions and scales rather than categorical boxes. For me, someone could be 5%, 23% 74% gay/lesbian is the adjectival description of their sexuality. I saw a range of gender positions from fluid, non-binary, gender non-conforming to trans. Again, adjectives and non-categorical. All of this was consistent with my PhD thesis in 1981.
Consequently, I have rejected the idea of labels though I don't mind people taking on a label for themselves. I can iunderstand people wanting to have an identity but homosexual, gay or queer does identify me or limit me.
Queer was an insult to me - as was puff, nancy-boy, pansy, bumboy or whatever. I still don't like it - unconventional would be more appropriate but I don't want that label either. Gay wasn't accurate. Most people whom I saw in clinics (or outside) were not happy little bunnies. Homophobia still lives and breathes. People still get imprisoned or executed for being different. I don't see people as different though we are all individuals, unique.
Is a teenage boy who wanks with other bouys at 13 or 14 just exploring or experiementing? Is a homie who gives bro-jobs to other homies when they are both intoxicated, not "gay" if they keep their socks on?
It doesn't make sense to me to say that eveyone is bi, any more than it is useful to say everyone is gay or straight.
I have to be sensitive and accept the fact that most people have an unsophisticated view of sex and gender. Some see some words as insulting, others want a more comfortable word as an umbrella, some people want to challenge and fight the norm of heterosexuality, some of us want to see all people as fellow humans, brothers and sisters, whatever their colour, ability/disability, sexual preferences, gender, sex, religion, political beliefs and so on.
Thank you, Ray, for the thoughtful reply and share. It’s heart-warming to see the evolution of both our understandings of gender and sexuality as well as our vocabulary to talk about them. You’ve helped me clarify my own preference for “queer.” I’m a gay guy, but I suspect if nonbinary had been part of my vocabulary earlier in life I might have adopted it. Don’t feel strongly about my own gender identity, but I know I’m drawn to men like a moth to a flame. From Southern Baptist Sissy to Who’s He?!….that’s me. :-)
Our mutuality and reciprocity is vlued by me. If I am still evolving then I am sure that you are still following your pathway. The idea of "Man" when I was young was quite toxic and I rejected it, without claiming to be "woman". I am psychologically anfrogynous for sure but I also see the non-toxic and gentle, loving vulnerability of men, too, - as is evidenced in some of my comments on your creations. I am more comfortable being the kind of man that I am.
Sounds familiar, Ray of Light…shine on!
Like Ann Richards' hair-do: It defied gravity.
I think Ms. Richards would've guffawed at this...and offered you a ride on her Harley. :-)
When Ann was Treasurer of Texas and managing the orderly and responsible shut-down of the Office of Treasurer and transfer of its functions to the Comptroller of Public Accounts, she took advantage of the travel allowance for elected officials to visit people across Texas, including a group of Gays and Lesbians gathered in response to a letter from the Treasurer's Office inviting just that. She came to one of our homes (nice, but not large) and engaged with friendly smart questions about what was important to us "right here on the South Plains," showing knowledge of our geography, geology, economy and environmental determinism that makes people and societies the ways they are. With a stated time limit in place, of course, she stayed well past that for the whole evening conversing easily and smartly with everyone there. That won my loyalty to her forever.
. I moved back to Austin just in time for her to be elected governor, and then after the voters made a serious mistake, she moved into my neighborhood. After several years she moved across Lamar but still close, and Albert and I were returning home when we stopped at the light at 9th and Lamar. I mentioned that Ann had moved into the building to our left and that Texas and Texans would be so much better if she had been re-elected; and Albert pointed out that she was standing right there on the sidewalk waiting to cross Lamar. I gasped and stated that she was still beautiful. She smiled.
. As Governor, her staff were loyal to Texas, Texans, The Ann Richards Administration and intensely to her; resulting in no leaks at all from the Governor's Office. All communication was agreed on, and there was transparency.
. She is now gone to the next life and I am gone from Austin. Thanks be to God.
I don’t talk—in detail—about my personal life, but let’s just say I LOVE ME SOME ANN RICHARDS. I grew up in Texas and can thank her for promoting Texas for film/tv production so much. While I was in college, one of her nieces was a classmate and “Auntie” called while we were studying one night. She asked to talk to my classmate’s “tutor.” While I wasn’t a tutor, I was so excited to talk to the governor I happily took the receiver and we carried on for 10-15 minutes. She was charming, funny, and supportive. And oh so very generous of her time and attention. I truly miss her and often read articles by Molly Ivins about that era when I’m feeling homesick.
Well Clint, 👏🎉 that's more than I can do. I'm still struggling with my 2 tin cans joined by tight string as my mobile communicator (we really did that as kids playing out)🧐 I even had a play wrist watch where the 'hands' were permanently fixed at 10 mins to 2 so it could only be advanced for only 20 mins at any point in time 😁 Now I've got a grown up solar powered Citizen wrist watch. Beats my old Swiss Rotary automatic winding analogue one, no more flicking the wrist (that sounds 😮) to keep the spring wound up. Hope this monologue cheers everyone up. Cheers DougT 🇫🇴
Keep keeping it real and analog, Doug. But you’re far from tech than you wanna believe. There I said it. As for the string cans as phones, I too used them. I hope kids today have that experience. Not everything needs to be done via a device or platform. :-)
We natural Brits are good at self-deprecating ourself, however let someone else try it and it's all out warfare 😁 Now having said that I did try to post a YT short on SS on
my own and I'm not sure if it's been linked or appears as it should on SS 🥴
Where did you post it, dear? On Notes or in a comment? I haven't seen it so far. As for self-deprecating, I think we Americans got that from the motherland. :-)
Errrr, I don't know I somehow think it could have been when you were linking from Ty and Troy Ford comments 🥴
Oh boy…I remember seeing you left a video link in the comments recently. And have one in my email to watch too. So I think either way I saw it. In case you haven’t realized, I’m terrible (Muriel) at names and keeping track of threads. lol
Oh so true Clint, I had simply/er times growing up as a kid but I survived, somehow 😎