First, thank you to all who shared your experiences and stories after my post about finding my light about battling anxiety, depression, and grief for the last few years.
Your love and support mean more than words can express.
While this bear is not out of the cave quite yet, I have been channeling my inner Effie White, singing along to “I Am Changing” from Dreamgirls, as I take care of business…in a flash.
Out of an abundance of caution (for your hearing), I’ll keep my rendition to myself. But the Effie Whites of stage and screen: Jennifer Holliday and Jennifer Hudson.
If you had told me a week ago that I would make more progress in just a few days than I have in months—if not years—I wouldn’t have believed you.
The lyrics of “I Am Changing” express how I feel better than I ever could:
"I Am Changing"
from Dreamgirls: Original Broadway Cast Album
+ Dreamgirls (Music from the Motion Picture)
Written by Tom Eyen + Henry D. Krieger
Look at me
Look at me
I am changing, trying every way I can
I am changing, I'll be better than I am
I'm trying to find a way to understand
But I need you, I need you
I need a hand
I am changing, seeing everything so clear
I am changing, I am going to start right now, right here
I am hoping to work it out, and I know that I can
But I need you, I need a hand
All my life, I've been a fool
Who said I could do it all alone
How many good friends have I already lost
How many dark nights have I known
Walking down that wrong road
There was nothing I could find
All those years of darkness
Can make a person blind
But now I can see
I am changing, trying every way I can
I am changing, I'll be better than I am
But I need a friend, to help me start all over again
Oh, that would be just fine
'Cause this time I am, this time I am
I am changing, gonna get my life together now
I am changing, yes, I know how
I'm going to start again, I'm leaving my past behind
I'll change my life, I'll make a vow
And nothing's going to stop me now
“All those years of darkness/Can make a person blind/But now I can see.”
Can’t stop…won’t stop…changing.
Thank you for being a friend!
Clint 🌈✌️
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BIRTHDAYS
1737 = Thomas Paine = English-American philosopher, author, and activist
1874 = Amy Lowell = American poet 🌈
1891 = Ronald Colman = English-American actor
1896 = Alberto Vargas = Peruvian-American painter and illustrator
1909 = Carmen Miranda = Portuguese-Brazilian actor, singer, and dancer
1914 = Ernest Tubb = American singer-songwriter
1932 = Gerhard Richter = German painter and photographer
1942 = Carole King = American singer-songwriter and pianist
1943 = Joe Pesci = American actor
1944 = Alice Walker = American writer 🌈
1945 = Mia Farrow = American actor, activist, and model
1949 = Judith Light = American actor
1953 = Gabriel Rotello = American journalist and OutWeek founder 🌈
1960 = David Simon = American writer and television producer
1960 = Holly Johnson = British singer-songwriter 🌈
1963 = Travis Tritt = American singer-songwriter
1976 = Charlie Day = American actor, producer, and screenwriter
1981 = Tom Hiddleston = English actor
1987 = Michael B. Jordan = American actor
1989 = Ari-Pekka Liukkonen = Finnish swimmer 🌈
EVENTS
1893 = Verdi's last opera, Falstaff premieres at La Scala, Milan.
1895 = William G. Morgan creates a game called Mintonette, which soon comes to be referred to as volleyball.
1964 = The Beatles make their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, performing before a record-setting audience of 73 million viewers across the United States.
1971 = All in the Family airs the first gay-themed network tv episode.
1977 = Frameline, the world’s first gay and lesbian film festival, premieres in San Francisco, CA.
1999 = Jerry Falwell claims Teletubbies’ Tinky-Winky is gay. Bless his mess.
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It's a crazy and chunk-filled meal, life, that takes a LOT of chewing! Me, I've lost almost everyone I ever cared about (even if only negatively, so enemies, friends, lovers, family members). Takes a lot of dreaming, meditating, crying and just plain muddling through. Now that the world is in full-time crazyville and I'm about to retire from my job (will be massively poorer, economically), I'm just taking it on faith that I'll be able to muddle through some more. So, cheers to your getting up off the table and muddling through some more your own self. You are definitely not alone.
A butterfly emerging from the cocoon. Catharsis. Welcome home!