WITHOUT YOU I’M NOTHING
written + performed by Sandra Bernhard
Live Performance Recording (1989)
Film Adaptation (1990) = Watch For Free On Tubi
Way back in 1990, when I was a freshman in college, I had a film professor who was absolutely and completely obsessed with Sandra Bernhard.
At the time, I was absolutely and completely oblivious to who the hell she was.
But my professor had just moved to Denton, Texas, from New York City, and carried himself with the kind of calm, big-city confidence that made me think he probably knew a thing or two about art, glamour, nightlife, and the fabulous gay underground world I was only beginning to discover.
So I did what any closeted, confused gay college kid would do: I studied. Hard.
My source material was the live recording of Without You I’m Nothing, which I scored at a local record store buried deep in the remainder bin. How appropriate.
Back then, so much queer culture existed in the margins. In remainder bins, hidden shelves, whispered recommendations, and late-night discoveries. You usually had to go looking for it. And when you finally found it, it felt less like shopping and more like uncovering buried treasure.
Not long after that, my professor recommended I check out the film adaptation of Without You I’m Nothing. It was part concert film, part comedy special, part fever dream performance art piece, and somehow also a masterclass in queer storytelling before I even understood that’s what I was watching.
Sandra didn’t perform like anyone else I’d ever seen. She was funny, confrontational, messy, glamorous, vulnerable, and fully in control all at once. Watching her felt like being let in on a secret world where identity itself could be theatrical. Fluid. Invented. Reinvented.
And her rendition of “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” by Sylvester? It’s absolutely hilarious and unexpectedly moving!
Ms. Bernhard transforms a classic disco anthem into something sharp, funny, and painfully honest. What starts as a campy performance slowly reveals itself as a deeper commentary on sexuality, masculinity, and the exhausting lengths queer people have often gone through to find our tribe and finally let our freak flags fly.
Ms. Bernhard’s performance taught me more about queer pride, storytelling, and emotional honesty than anything I learned in college.
Looking back now, I realize she didn’t just entertain me. She educated me and expanded my idea of what queer people could sound like. Look like. Say out loud.
In other words, Sandra Bernhard helped make me gay.
Keep calm and sashay on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
05-15 = Archduke Ludwig Viktor Of Austria (1842-1919) = Austrian royal 🌈
05-15 = Barbara Hammer (1939-2019) = American filmmaker 🌈
05-15 = Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu (1972- ) = Native Hawaiian activist 🌈
05-15 = Jackie Shane (1940-2019) = Canadian-American soul singer 🌈
05-15 = Jasper Johns (1930- ) = American artist 🌈
05-15 = Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689-1762) = English aristocrat, medical pioneer, and writer 🌈
05-15 = Richard Avedon (1923-2004) = American photographer 🌈
05-15 = Stella Maxwell (1990- ) = Belgian-New Zealander fashion model 🌈
MAN CRUSH(ES) OF THE DAY
“As one gets older one sees many more paths that could be taken. Artists sense within their own work that kind of swelling of possibilities, which may seem a freedom or a confusion.”
Jasper Johns
“All photographs are accurate. None of them is the truth.”
Richard Avedon
I think that I am relatively oblivious to popular culture. I experience some of it but perhaps do not engage with it as much as many others do.
My empathy is strong, deep and diffuse. I usually protect or shield myself from the myriad of other people. Otherwise, I would feel overwhelmed.
Sandra, like many other US icons, have never impacted on me.
📸📸