Things That Make Me Go Hmm (+ Cry/Sigh Too)

The Curious Case Of Compassion & Heartbreak (In The Comments)

Most comments on our YouTube channel fall in one of three buckets:

1. The Good

2. The Bad

3. The Ugh-ly

The first is always appreciated and welcomed.
The second two are usually removed and/or blocked.
(A few of the latter do get put on blast first though. Human.)

But there is a fourth bucket of comments. It’s a bucket filled with tears.
The comment pictured above is in that fourth bucket: The Heart-Breaking.

Yes...everybody loves a young, handsome gay man. However....how about pics of gays who are fighting physical and mental obstacles. I work with a young gay man who will never walk or be able to have a long, Intelligent conversation because of his handicap. He once told me all he ever wanted to do was to be able to dance with a boyfriend. He will never dance...nor probably ever fall in love. Its heartbreaking.
YouTube

While I don’t always know how to respond to these comments. I always try. Even if I do end up deleting the reply, hopefully before they see me fumbling through a response to the emotional minefield they’ve laid before me.

Here’s how I responded to the one above, after giving myself time to digest it:

I’m sorry for your friend and encourage you to make a video in his honor.

Honestly, the vintage photos of those with similar disabilities would likely be seen as exploitive or “freak”-ish since they would be from medical photos or circus sideshows. I have some family members with various disabilities and wanted to make this kind of video for them, but decided against it after realizing most of the photos I wanted to feature were kept secret because of familial shame.

This protective cloak makes representation difficult. At least in my experience.

If you haven't heard of it, I highly recommend you watch a wonderful doc called EVERYBODY DANCE. It’s available (for free) on Amazon and Tubi.

And was made by a queer filmmaker, who is also wonderful imo. 🌈✌️

Even if my reply ultimately doesn’t resonate with the commenter, I feel they have shared some of their heart and heartache. The least I can do is show them some compassion and kindness by acknowledging their share. And by holding space for some kind of healing. For them…for myself…and for all of us.

While most of the comments on YouTube are short and sweet, the heart and smart ones certainly make a lasting impression. And remind me why I do what I do.

Thanks for reading!
Clint

P.S. I might need to revise my 80/20 Rule. But not sure a “80/18/2 Rule” will catch on.

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WORDS OF WISDOM

“Be brave enough to live life creatively.
The creative place where no one else has ever been.”
Alan Alda

“I studied all about Gauguin. He was a banker.
He was a banker who - he used to paint on Sundays.
And one day he hated himself for painting on Sundays.”
Anthony Quinn

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