For those wondering, I woke up feeling much better than I did yesterday.
Still not 100% back to normal, but I’m definitely on the mend.
Yesterday’s daydreaming and dozing left me thinking about how anti-social I’ve become lately. And how much easier it feels to be “social” online. For me, anyway.
Why? Because the older I get, the more I realize I only have a handful of “real-life” friends I actually want to make plans with. They are my dears, nears, and/or queers who not only follow through, but show up too.
Maybe it’s a side effect of living near in a city as sprawling as Los Angeles, but most people (myself included, at times) are far too fickle and flaky to commit to something as radical as…leaving the house and being a friend. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am very capable of wasting my time all by myself. Thank you very much.
Everyone seems to be waiting for a better offer, and too many folks treat commitment like a contagious disease. Invitations hang in limbo. Emails, messages, and texts go unanswered. And phone calls? They feel almost quaint at this point.
Part of my disappointment and disconnection stems from the three-plus years I spent as an agoraphobe. During that time, most of the people I knew well stopped trying to connect. And to be fair, I stopped trying to connect with them too.
Trust takes time to rebuild. And may never fully return.
And that’s okay too. Life goes on….
But I’m finally starting to see my lonely stretches and missed connections not just as losses, but as lessons. Each disappointment has become an invitation to reconnect—by any means necessary. A message, a comment, a creative post, a small gesture that says, “I’m still here.” Even if no one listens or responds, at least I tried.
During my years in “the cave,” I only kept in touch with two in-real-life friends—and only then by phone. No coffee dates, no dinners out, no “let’s grab a drink after work.” Just me, myself, and my “stuff.” The more things change—and they definitely have since February—the more they can sometimes at least feel the same.
During my Captain Caveman era, I disappeared from social media. I was overwhelmed by the noise, the scroll, and the feeling that I had to perform my life instead of live it. But as a self-employed creative, there’s an expectation (and obligation/opportunity?) to be online 24/7/365—to post, promote, engage, and remain “relevant.”
So what to do? Well, I’ve decided to return to social media. At least professionally. But this time I’m going to treat it like an experiment.
I plan to show up with intention, not obligation. To share the work I’m proud of, the ideas that move me, and the moments that might spark genuine conversation or connection. And then I’ll log off. No more algorithm chasing. No more doomscrolling.
For me, it’s an ongoing experiment in balance and boundaries.
These days, I care less about expanding my online presence and more about curating it with purpose. I want depth, not reach. Connection, not clout. And while I may still be anti-social in the traditional sense, I’m learning that connection doesn’t depend on proximity—it depends on presence. On showing up.
Reality and I may have grown apart, but we’re learning to be friends again—slowly, cautiously, and mostly through a screen for now.
Keep calm and comment on!
Clint 🌈✌️
P.S. If you’ve found yourself feeling a little disconnected too, know that you’re not alone. The Collide Press Crew—across Substack, YouTube, and beyond—has become one of my favorite reminders that community can take many forms. Sometimes all it takes is a shared post, a thoughtful comment, or a quiet moment of recognition to remind us we’re still connected. By any means necessary.
P.P.S. If you’re interested, please feel free to follow me on Bluesky, Instagram, Substack, Threads, Tumblr, TikTok, and/or Xitter. I’m relatively new on some platforms, but will be posting and sharing on them regularly!
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Carl Sagan
Great article 👏 sending you blessings all day 🫂
Clint just do it your own way, I do, a phrase I'm in favour of 'Be yourself, they'll adjust' Cheers DougT 🇫🇴🇬🇧