Confession: Once upon a time, I had more self-help books on my shelves than candles on my birthday cake. My nightstand runneth over like I was starting a motivational book club.
Like too many of us, I thought other people had all the answers. I believed the right combination of buzzwords, bullet points, and bullshit morning routines could somehow unlock the mystery of being human.
Spoiler alert: they didn’t. At least not for me.
No matter how hard I tried—or how many books I read—I was still left to my own devices to figure things out. Turns out, the only “system” that works is the one you build yourself.
Eventually, I woke up and realized most of these so-called “gurus” were just selling recycled advice wrapped in a shiny new cover. Many were just as lost and confused as I was—just with better lighting, better branding, and a book deal.
Cut to yesterday, when I noticed Matt D’Avella—one of my favorite YouTubers and one of the few self-help-adjacent creators I still trust—posted a new video calling out “The problem with self-help gurus.”
In my experience, a lot of these self-appointed “gurus” have more issues than National Geographic and start believing they’re Jesus. Or Oprah.
The grift is real. So are the grifters.
All these years later, I still can’t believe I wasted $15 on a book of bumper stickers and bad advice. As for the so-called “documentary” that came out with it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger cinematic turd disguised as enlightenment.
While I’m very much anti-guru, I’m very much pro-guide.
I don’t want to read the work of a guru. I want to read the work of a fellow traveler, someone who doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out but is willing to share what they’ve learned along the way: fumbles, stumbles, and all.
There’s a big difference between someone who’s learning with you and someone who’s preaching at you. One shares their truth; the other sells a template.
In my book, real growth isn’t about following or worshipping someone else’s wisdom. It’s about finding and trusting your own.
For the record, common sense has always and will always beat guru nonsense. Please take that Cult Of Personality bullshit elsewhere.
Keep calm and namaste on!
Clint 🌈✌️
P.S. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who’s spent some time in the self-help aisle, so I’d love to hear from you:
Which guides do you trust?
And what’s one lesson that’s actually made a difference in your life?
Drop your thoughts in the comments. Because real self-help can start with honest conversation.
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For once Clint I have no views on the subject.....honestly BUT the university of Hard Knocks soon sorts.......(add your own metaphor here) Cheers DougT 🇫🇴 🇬🇧
Thanks for the recommendation, Clint! And you really nailed it with this article- I was also someone who looked for answers in self-help books and such. For me, it took blowing up my life and starting over (the whole “Messy Reinvention” vibe) to find what I needed.
Great article!