As many of you who read my comments on Clint's mailings, I do not sit comfortably with binaries. When does "young" become "old"; "black" become "white"? Humans are categorical in their thinking styles - we really love exclusive boxes. But, for me, when does "yellow" become "green"? How does a man who loves blowjobs, but his partner won't ever give him any, so he turns to men who will blow him - how does he see himself? Straight, bi?
In 1962 (when I was 15) I was pleased that Kinsey had a scale rather than a binary view of human sexuality. But it wasn't satisfactory for me. As I trained to be a clinical psychologist, I was glad that I wasn't in the US and forced to classify people according to the DSM. Each person, client or patient was clearly unique to me. My doctoral thesis was my examination of identity formation - how does a man decide that he is gay, bi, straight, ace, demisexual, romantically attracted, sexually attracted, or whatever? It certainly wasn't simply based on his sexual behaviour or fantasies.
Labels can be useful shorthand but not definitive. There are no maps, my friends, no user manuals, no set concrete rules about sexuality - indeed, about anything for sure. I do tend to protest that I am simply ME. But, that is almost completely useless. I am not the man today that was ten years ago, let alone as a teenager. (Even what I was yesterday or will be tomorrow)
Clarke and Clint refer us to Kant. Without dissing Kant, I go back to Socrates, who asked how do we know what we know and how do we know it is true?
My dear friends, I think we are more or less "on the same page". I offer and send my love in siblinghood, in the name of humanity and diversity.
Kinsey's scale, as advanced as it was and is even now, doesn't begin to take into account more than two poles, much less the various points on a plane, much less three dimensions, which as you point out, seems to be more the case than not. Humans gonna human. What that means is that is might be possible to begin to forgive our ancestors for not having it all figured out. I'm with Kant's book title: "The Critique of Pure Reason." My guess? Figuring it all out is not in the cards. Thanks for this meditation.
Clint, I grew up in the 40s, 50s, etc and learned the same lessons as an adult living in the 2020s. For me it was gay, lesbian, straight, transvestite, transexual. Top, Bottom. Butch or Fem. And each had a string of expections and stereotpes associated with the label. One place the LGBTQIA+ Community has made progress is in understanding and honoring diversity. Fondly, Michael
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As many of you who read my comments on Clint's mailings, I do not sit comfortably with binaries. When does "young" become "old"; "black" become "white"? Humans are categorical in their thinking styles - we really love exclusive boxes. But, for me, when does "yellow" become "green"? How does a man who loves blowjobs, but his partner won't ever give him any, so he turns to men who will blow him - how does he see himself? Straight, bi?
In 1962 (when I was 15) I was pleased that Kinsey had a scale rather than a binary view of human sexuality. But it wasn't satisfactory for me. As I trained to be a clinical psychologist, I was glad that I wasn't in the US and forced to classify people according to the DSM. Each person, client or patient was clearly unique to me. My doctoral thesis was my examination of identity formation - how does a man decide that he is gay, bi, straight, ace, demisexual, romantically attracted, sexually attracted, or whatever? It certainly wasn't simply based on his sexual behaviour or fantasies.
Labels can be useful shorthand but not definitive. There are no maps, my friends, no user manuals, no set concrete rules about sexuality - indeed, about anything for sure. I do tend to protest that I am simply ME. But, that is almost completely useless. I am not the man today that was ten years ago, let alone as a teenager. (Even what I was yesterday or will be tomorrow)
Clarke and Clint refer us to Kant. Without dissing Kant, I go back to Socrates, who asked how do we know what we know and how do we know it is true?
My dear friends, I think we are more or less "on the same page". I offer and send my love in siblinghood, in the name of humanity and diversity.
Love the context, Uncle Ray. Keep sharing and shining your bright light. 🌈💡
"Some of us have the road map."
HA! I never got the road map, the the instruction manual, the repair manual, or anything at all. zilch, zero, zip, nada.
As you can guess, I was usually treated as if I had all those things and unlimited time to read them.
I just ignore more and more of it as I get older:
I laughed out loud WITH you, Anton. I like to think I have a roadmap, but only because I rarely refer to reference materials. :-p
Kinsey's scale, as advanced as it was and is even now, doesn't begin to take into account more than two poles, much less the various points on a plane, much less three dimensions, which as you point out, seems to be more the case than not. Humans gonna human. What that means is that is might be possible to begin to forgive our ancestors for not having it all figured out. I'm with Kant's book title: "The Critique of Pure Reason." My guess? Figuring it all out is not in the cards. Thanks for this meditation.
Thanks, Clarke. Haven’t read Kant in years. Now might be a good time for me to revisit. Appreciate the recommendation/reminder. Cheers!
Clint, I grew up in the 40s, 50s, etc and learned the same lessons as an adult living in the 2020s. For me it was gay, lesbian, straight, transvestite, transexual. Top, Bottom. Butch or Fem. And each had a string of expections and stereotpes associated with the label. One place the LGBTQIA+ Community has made progress is in understanding and honoring diversity. Fondly, Michael
So true. We’re getting better. Slowly and surely, Shirley. I love that name. Shirley was one of my favorite aunts. :-p Cheers, Michael!
Clint, I Surley enjoy your posts and responses. Fondly, Michael
Thanks, Michael. Sending hugs your way, kind sir!
Thanks for being a friend, dear Jim. May your day be filled with love, light, and laughter. :-*