Once upon a time, I thought you were either gay or straight.
Baby Clint was a basic bitch who thought basic thoughts.
Thankfully, I’ve evolved over the years.
Like a lot of people who grew up in the ‘70s and ‘80s, my understanding of sexuality was pretty limited. There were two boxes: gay and straight. You were one or the other, and that was that.
Then I got older and discovered that human beings are gloriously inconvenient and messy as fuck. Many of us refuse to fit neatly into tidy little categories.
Some are bisexual. Others are pansexual. Some identify as queer. Some as asexual. Some reject labels altogether. Some discover a new truth about themselves at sixteen. Others don’t figure it out until sixty.
Life has a funny way of reminding us that one size rarely fits all.
For years, I assumed every gay man experienced attraction the way I did. Then I started meeting people whose preferences and “types” couldn’t have been more different. Twinks. Bears. Otters. Jocks. Geeks. Leather guys. Silver foxes. Masculine men. Feminine men.
The same goes for relationships. Some couples are happily monogamous. Others thrive in open relationships or polyamory. What works beautifully for one couple might be a disaster for another.
The older I get, the less interested I am in what’s “normal.” I’m much more interested in what is honest, consensual, and kind.
One of the greatest gifts of getting older has been trading certainty for curiosity.
I no longer assume I know someone’s story just by looking at them.
The rugged biker might be married to another man. The masculine football fan might identify as bisexual. The soft-spoken church organist might be kinkier than everyone else at Sunday brunch combined.
People contain multitudes. Labels can be both liberating and limiting.
For some, labels provide language for feelings they've carried their entire lives and help them find a sense of identity and community. For others, labels feel like just another box they don't want to climb into.
Both perspectives are valid.
At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to figure ourselves out.
Some of us have the roadmap. Others are taking the long way around.
And that’s okay.
People are wonderfully complicated. Wonderfully diverse.
Thank good orderly direction for that. Because variety truly is the spice of life….
Keep calm and smell the roses!
Clint 🌈✌️
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ends 06-30-26
FROM THE ARCHIVE
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
06-29 = Henry Gerber (1892-1972) = German-American activist 🌈
06-29 = Egon Von Fürstenberg (1946-2004) = Swiss socialite 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“It doesn’t get better than making people laugh and also making sure people don’t go hungry.”
Colin Jost
Kinsey's scale, as advanced as it was and is even now, doesn't begin to take into account more than two poles, much less the various points on a plane, much less three dimensions, which as you point out, seems to be more the case than not. Humans gonna human. What that means is that is might be possible to begin to forgive our ancestors for not having it all figured out. I'm with Kant's book title: "The Critique of Pure Reason." My guess? Figuring it all out is not in the cards. Thanks for this meditation.
Clint, I grew up in the 40s, 50s, etc and learned the same lessons as an adult living in the 2020s. For me it was gay, lesbian, straight, transvestite, transexual. Top, Bottom. Butch or Fem. And each had a string of expections and stereotpes associated with the label. One place the LGBTQIA+ Community has made progress is in understanding and honoring diversity. Fondly, Michael