Confessions Off The Dance Floor

Am I Too Old For Madonna...Or Is She Too Young For Me?

Yesterday, Madonna, the original "Material Girl," released a new music video, I mean "film," to promote the release of her new album, CONFESSIONS II.

YouTube, apparently convinced this was something I needed to see, placed it squarely at the top of my feed. Since I hadn't paid much attention to Madonna in over a decade, I almost kept scrolling. But curiosity got the better of me.

After all, this is Madonna we're talking about.

For more than forty years, she's been one of the most celebrated and criticized entertainers on the planet. Even people who don't consider themselves fans know the songs, the looks, and at least a few of the controversies.

Like millions of gay men my age, I grew up with Madonna's music as part of the soundtrack of my life.

So I clicked.

Partly because I was curious. Partly because nostalgia is a powerful drug. And partly because, every once in a while, it's fun to revisit an artist who once occupied such a large space in your musical world.

Whether you've been a casual fan through one of her many eras or a die-hard stan since the beginning, I'd genuinely be curious to hear your reaction to her latest "film."

Personally, I was willing to give the 67-year-old Queen of Pop a chance right up until the moment a group of dancers appeared with lasers apparently shooting out of their bits and butts.

At that point, I found myself asking a question that I suspect eventually catches up with all of us: Am I too old for Madonna…or is she too young for me?

It's a strange question to ask about someone whose music accompanied so many chapters of my life. I sang along to "Lucky Star," "Borderline," "Keep It Together," "Like a Prayer," "Vogue," and countless others. Even later albums like Ray of Light and the movie soundtrack to Evita had a special place in my CD collection. Back when I had a CD collection.

I remember like it was yesterday dancing the night away at Splash Bar in NYC when the “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” (Miami Mix) came out. What a night to remember!

But somewhere along the way, all the constant reinvention started to feel less exciting and more exhausting.

When Cher reinvented herself with "Believe" in the late 1990s, she did it with her tongue firmly planted in her cheek. I danced and sang along because the song was terrific and because Cher seemed to understand both the absurdity and the fabulousness of it all. She welcomed us all in on the joke. And the journey.

Madonna, in my opinion, has always taken herself way too seriously. Watching her seemingly position herself as Sabrina Carpenter's older sister when she's old enough to be her grandmother feels a bit desperate. To me anyway.

Then again, perhaps that's part of Madonna's appeal.

She has spent her entire career refusing to play by anybody else's rules, including society's expectations about what women are allowed to do after a certain age. And honestly, I admire that.

I just don't necessarily want to watch it.

I came of age during Madonna's first two decades. That's the Madonna I love. Give me the early hits all the way through Ray of Light, and I'm a happy camper. I listened off and on through the mid-2000s, but after that I mostly stuck with the old stuff.

Whenever I've sampled her newer music, I've quickly realized something that took me years to accept: I'm not her target audience anymore.

And that’s okay.

I’m comfortable with my getting older and my changing tastes. And I really don’t feel the need to have lights shining out of my crotch to command attention. Anymore. 😜

Still, credit where credit is due. Madonna and the Maverick machine know how to generate headlines and attract sponsors. Her latest partners include fashion house Dolce & Gabbana and the hookup app Grindr. Cool, I guess.

Please don't misunderstand me. I don't hate Madonna. Quite the opposite.

I love a great deal of her work, which is probably why the last couple of decades have been difficult for me to watch and, occasionally, to hear.

But maybe that's the bargain we make with artists who stick around long enough. They keep changing. We keep changing. And eventually, somewhere along the way, we discover that sometimes we're no longer sharing the same dance floor.

Keep calm and dance on!
Clint 🌈✌️

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ends 06-30-26

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BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY

• 06-09 = Bülent Ersoy (1952- ) = Turkish singer and actor 🌈

• 06-09 = Cole Porter (1891-1964) = American composer and songwriter 🌈

• 06-09 = Parinya Charoenphol (1981- ) = Thai boxer, model and actor 🌈

• 06-09 = Scott Kennedy (1965-2013) = American comedian and activist 🌈

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