For most people the unhealed wounds they carry were received in the first five years of life. The "kindergartner" never grows beyond those wounds unless they heal.
So many people operate on what they learnt and experienced in those early years.
Great point, Uncle Ray! I’m lucky my first five years were relatively happy. And have a therapist who’s helping me reframe and heal from some of the not-so-happy parts. Much love and light!
My mother, whatever her failings may have been, saw that I was not like other kids, and became a kindergarten helper while I was there, to make sure I got treated right. Always a fraught relationship, but that's not something to forget. Every moment matters. Every one.
I can totally relate, Clarke. My mom wasn’t able to be there, but she definitely made her presence known when she could. It definitely helped with some of the asshat teachers I had in elementary school. First and fourth grade were nightmares! Cheers, my dears.
This is so distinct and it certainly was profoundly formative: all I learned in Kindergarten was that President Kennedy had been shot. We were just laying down for nap time and then the world stopped for four horrible days, which ended at the funeral (another profound foretelling) where JFK, Jr. (my age) saluted his father's cortege. And now this is us in the USA.
👍🤔 Brian I don't think I learned too much in (UK) nursery class, certainly nothing profetic(?) Nursery classes were the order of the day if your mum still worked. A lot of women who had war worked didn't want to give it up.There was always a relative, neighbour, responsible adult to see a gaggle of toddlers off to the nursery. Play a bit listen to stories, then nap times on lil camp beds, outdoors if warm and sunny, then collected/shepherded off home for tea and home. And so the cycle continued until we were old enough for junior school system (5 to 11 years). No knife/gun/drugs to soil our innocent school times. What a change to today's times 😲 Plenty of opportunities for family immigration to the Colonies, Australia, Canada, South Africa to name a few. My dad would have gone in a jiffy but mum wouldn't go (but that's a whole different ball game) So all in all I just merrily breezed through my childhood. If only I had realised the elephant in the room on my mum's side. My folks worked hard to give us kids the best that they didn't have, a car/vechicle a TV (B&W), proper holidays etc. The NHS in it's infancy meant we were healthy in spite of social/weather/economic conditions around us. I'd better put away the rose tinted spectacles as those days ain't ever coming back, sadly, Cheers DougT 🏴🇬🇧
Sounds like a good childhood to me, Doug. Hope you and your rose-tinted spectacles are having a lovely day. Thanks for sharing and caring, my friend. Cheers!
Yuppers Brian, I easily skipped through early childhood as compared to some I knew about. They were simpler times OR maybe it was more my ways. The period post WW11 was full of optimism for everyone, could be hard but I didn't put obstacles in my own way, it must have been the Gemini in me 🤔 My parents early deaths when In my 20's also freed me of one of the elephant in the room too and I've forged my own way ever since. I've never questioned things, just accepted the way it is. Cheers my friend, DougT
that book was such a phenomenon (also around the same time as Men are from Mars, Women from Venus to remind us how far when it comes to gender and nonbinary thinking)
It was indeed, Jerry. I avoided the men vs women books like the plague. But I did watch the discussions about them on Oprah and other talk shows. I knew I was gay and had no problem with women, so the books were more an amusement than a textbook. :-p
Clint, I had forgotten about Mr. Fulghum but like you, I live his advice. I also like your advice to writers. "Everything I Learned About Writing, I Learned From Clint Collide". People connect to honesty far more than expertise. They remember stories more than arguments. They respond to vulnerability more than perfection. Fondly, Michael
Oh, Mista Michael, if I were to write a book about writing, it would be very, very short. And likely just list other books on the subject I recommend. :-p Cheers, my dears!
🌈🌹
Dear Clint,
This is exactly what drew me to your writings: honesty and vulnerability. I enjoy and cherish reading your thoughts each day. Thank you.
Awwww shucks, Bob. I appreciate you and your kind words. Wishing you a fabulous day and weekend!
For most people the unhealed wounds they carry were received in the first five years of life. The "kindergartner" never grows beyond those wounds unless they heal.
So many people operate on what they learnt and experienced in those early years.
Great point, Uncle Ray! I’m lucky my first five years were relatively happy. And have a therapist who’s helping me reframe and heal from some of the not-so-happy parts. Much love and light!
I am hoping that this therapist is effective in helping you. (I have no doubts or reservations)
Thanks, Uncle Ray. I’ve found a smart, empathetic one. Wise well beyond his years. And my tears. Good things are happening every week, inch by inch.
Safety to face the frozen pains and needs. An opportunity to heal the little Brian inside.
My mother, whatever her failings may have been, saw that I was not like other kids, and became a kindergarten helper while I was there, to make sure I got treated right. Always a fraught relationship, but that's not something to forget. Every moment matters. Every one.
I can totally relate, Clarke. My mom wasn’t able to be there, but she definitely made her presence known when she could. It definitely helped with some of the asshat teachers I had in elementary school. First and fourth grade were nightmares! Cheers, my dears.
This is so distinct and it certainly was profoundly formative: all I learned in Kindergarten was that President Kennedy had been shot. We were just laying down for nap time and then the world stopped for four horrible days, which ended at the funeral (another profound foretelling) where JFK, Jr. (my age) saluted his father's cortege. And now this is us in the USA.
Thanks for sharing, dear Victor. Being from Dallas, the scene of that horrendous crime, I can relate. Cheers!
👍🤔 Brian I don't think I learned too much in (UK) nursery class, certainly nothing profetic(?) Nursery classes were the order of the day if your mum still worked. A lot of women who had war worked didn't want to give it up.There was always a relative, neighbour, responsible adult to see a gaggle of toddlers off to the nursery. Play a bit listen to stories, then nap times on lil camp beds, outdoors if warm and sunny, then collected/shepherded off home for tea and home. And so the cycle continued until we were old enough for junior school system (5 to 11 years). No knife/gun/drugs to soil our innocent school times. What a change to today's times 😲 Plenty of opportunities for family immigration to the Colonies, Australia, Canada, South Africa to name a few. My dad would have gone in a jiffy but mum wouldn't go (but that's a whole different ball game) So all in all I just merrily breezed through my childhood. If only I had realised the elephant in the room on my mum's side. My folks worked hard to give us kids the best that they didn't have, a car/vechicle a TV (B&W), proper holidays etc. The NHS in it's infancy meant we were healthy in spite of social/weather/economic conditions around us. I'd better put away the rose tinted spectacles as those days ain't ever coming back, sadly, Cheers DougT 🏴🇬🇧
Sounds like a good childhood to me, Doug. Hope you and your rose-tinted spectacles are having a lovely day. Thanks for sharing and caring, my friend. Cheers!
Yuppers Brian, I easily skipped through early childhood as compared to some I knew about. They were simpler times OR maybe it was more my ways. The period post WW11 was full of optimism for everyone, could be hard but I didn't put obstacles in my own way, it must have been the Gemini in me 🤔 My parents early deaths when In my 20's also freed me of one of the elephant in the room too and I've forged my own way ever since. I've never questioned things, just accepted the way it is. Cheers my friend, DougT
You’re a good man, kind sir. Don’t forget it! :-*
that book was such a phenomenon (also around the same time as Men are from Mars, Women from Venus to remind us how far when it comes to gender and nonbinary thinking)
It was indeed, Jerry. I avoided the men vs women books like the plague. But I did watch the discussions about them on Oprah and other talk shows. I knew I was gay and had no problem with women, so the books were more an amusement than a textbook. :-p
Clint, I had forgotten about Mr. Fulghum but like you, I live his advice. I also like your advice to writers. "Everything I Learned About Writing, I Learned From Clint Collide". People connect to honesty far more than expertise. They remember stories more than arguments. They respond to vulnerability more than perfection. Fondly, Michael
Oh, Mista Michael, if I were to write a book about writing, it would be very, very short. And likely just list other books on the subject I recommend. :-p Cheers, my dears!