You Take The Good + You Take The Bad
Life + Liberty + Pursuit Of Happiness Off/On Substack
Yesterday, I had the pleasure of having a long lunch with one of my favorite people and Substackers, Robin Taylor (he/him). Turns out he lives less than twenty minutes from where I’m staying. Yay!
A talented writer, editor, and publisher, Robin is one of those rare people whose presence feels just as steady and thoughtful in real life as it does on the page.
His personal Substack, That Trans Friend You Didn't Know You Needed, was one of the first I subscribed to when I joined the platform, and it remains one of the few I return to regularly. Not out of habit, but because Robin’s writing offers something real. A little wisdom. A little calm. A little reminder that not everything online has to feel like a five-alarm fire.
Robin is a family man who spends a lot of his offline life in the garden, and a lot of his online life trying to make Substack a better, safer space for the rest of us. Through both SmallStack and GenderWild Press, Robin shows up for readers and writers in a way that is intentional, not just transactional. And that matters now more than ever.
I always had a feeling that if Robin and I ever had a chance to meet, we would become fast friends, more than just Substack brothers from other mothers. After a five-plus-hour epic confab, I think it’s safe to say my instinct was right. I left our meetup with a big smile on my face, a full tummy, and a new real-world friendship.
People like Robin represent the best of humanity in my book.
And the best of what Substack has to offer too.
A few hours after getting back to Miss M’s place and letting Simon out to romp through the yard, I did something dumb: I opened Substack Notes.
For those who aren’t familiar with it, Notes is Substack’s attempt at a social media feed. Think Twitter, but with a slightly different kind of chaos. I understand why it exists. But like most social media, I don’t particularly enjoy it or find it helpful.
With a few exceptions, my Notes feed feels like LinkedIn’s unprofessional cousin, filled with click, engage, and enrage bait. Filled with alleged “hot takes” that aren’t that hot and definitely not that thoughtful. And look, I don’t need help getting worked up these days. Life is already doing a pretty solid job of that on its own.
So after about the fifth post declaring that Substack is dead to them because yet another problematic “celebrity” has joined the platform, I tapped out.
Here’s the thing. The internet has always been a mixed bag. For every voice that brings something meaningful to the table, there are several more that bring noise, nonsense, or straight-up toxicity. That’s not new. That’s just the fucking internet.
And yes, it’s frustrating when people with harmful messages find new platforms to spread them. It’s gross. It’s exhausting. It makes you question where your attention, energy, and time are best spent.
But I don’t think the existence of those people defines the platform. Any platform.
What defines it, at least for me, is who I choose to engage with. Who I read. Who I support. Who I amplify.
Substack, like life, is a choose-your-own-adventure kind of platform.
You can follow the chaos or you can carve out your own corner of something quieter, more thoughtful, more aligned with who you are and what you actually value. But that takes effort. And most of us already have enough to do. So I get the anger and vitriol. But I don’t think they’re particularly productive.
I’m not interested in policing what other people read or write. That’s a losing game. And honestly, not my job. What I can do is hold my own line. By creating work I want to see. By supporting others who are doing work that resonates. By building stronger relationships that are inspiring and uplifting.
The truth is simple, even if it’s not always easy to admit:
There’s always good.
There’s always bad.
And there’s plenty of ugh-ly too.
That’s not just Substack. That’s life.
So I’m choosing to focus on the good. On the long lunches with new friends who feel like old ones. On the writing that grounds instead of agitates. On the community that actually feels like community. On the montages that celebrate beauty and booty.
The rest can keep yelling into the void. And writing more Notes than posts.
Keep calm and keep it real, y’all!
Clint 🌈✌️
P.S. If you’re looking for more good people worth subscribing to on Substack, consider checking out my Recommendations page.
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
04-16 = Amelia Atwater-Rhodes (1984- ) = American writer 🌈
04-16 = Dusty Springfield (1939-1999) = English singer 🌈
04-16 = Essex Hemphill (1957-1995) = American poet and activist 🌈
04-16 = Merce Cunningham (1919-2009) = American dancer and choreographer 🌈
04-16 = Raymond Chan Chi-chuen (1972- ) = Hongkongese politician and host 🌈
04-16 = Robert Stigwood (1934-2016) = Australian-born British-resident music entrepreneur, film producer, and impresario 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“Our emotions are constantly being propelled by some new face in the sky, some new rocket to the moon, some new sound in the ear, but they are the same emotions.”
Merce Cunningham
😁 👹
My dear friend and sib-from-another-crib, this was the most delightful thing I have read in a long time. Thank you. I feel so honored to have spent time with you yesterday. You have no idea how much it refilled my tank during this incredibly complex time in my life. And that's how I know this is one of those friendships that is meant to last a lifetime.