Yesterday morning, I got an unexpected call from a tv producer I first worked with more than thirty years ago.
Over the years, we’ve remained friendly, keeping tabs on each other through mutual friends. He’s someone I love and respect more than words can convey, so seeing his name light up my phone was an absolute thrill and made my day.
After some small talk, he told me why he was calling: a dear friend and fellow crew member—someone I consider family—passed away. He wanted to be sure I knew. More than that, he wanted to share stories about her—and our years spent working together—with someone who loved her as much as he did.
What began as a short, sad-news call turned into an hour-long celebration and remembrance of her life. Over the course of 60+ minutes, my heart was broken and mended and broken again.
When I hung up, I knew I was emotionally tender. I didn’t realize just how tender.
Last night, sleep wouldn’t come. Memories kept circling—of Debra, our fallen friend, and of others we’d lost over the years. Faces I hadn’t pictured in years came back in sharp focus, reminding me how much love and loss shape us.
My heart was heavy, but also full.
By morning, I was tired but determined to make it a good day. Then the phone rang again—it was my producer friend, calling back. In that moment, a good day turned into a great one.
What started as a quick follow-up turned into more than three hours of laughter, tears, and stories—more than I even remembered remembering. It felt as if Debra herself had pulled us together to keep her alive in the only way we can: by speaking her name and sharing the moments that mattered.
Before and after the call, I found myself reflecting on the final scene of Six Feet Under. It never fails to make me cry. And I needed some good, long cries. So I rewatched it a few times.
Seeing Claire drive away as Sia’s “Breathe Me” carries us through the lives and deaths of each character reminds me how beautiful and fragile our lives really are. To me, the closing scene is an elegant symphony of love and letting go.
Rest in peace, my dear friend Debra. Thank you for the joy you brought to so many lives and for helping reunite me and Dennis in this bittersweet way. My life is bigger and better for having known you both—and for being part of something greater than myself, something all of us on the crew helped build together.
Back in the day, I took lots of photos of us all. Lately, I’ve been scanning and sharing those snapshots from the set and on location with fellow crew members. We were so young, so full of life. Looking at them now, I see how a camera can freeze a moment in time, but can never capture the whole story—especially not the energy, the love, or the way Debra and our fallen friends could light up a room.
That’s the thing about memory: you can’t take a picture of it. It’s already gone.
And yet, in the remembering, it somehow lives on.
Thank you for being a friend…
Clint 🌈✌️
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Not that this is a particularly hot take, but that final scene of Six Feet Under is the most gutting thing that’s ever happened on a TV show. I see why this moment reflecting on a late friend made you think of it. You’ve honored her well.
Thank you for sharing.