If Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous were rebooted today, it would be a daily “news” show (on Netflix?), serving up the latest business failures, criminal charges, political antics, and shady alliances of the ultra-wealthy—and those dying to join their ranks.
Robin Leach may have passed in 2018, but he could still narrate the show—or more—with the help of AI. Fake people. Fake host. Seems apropos of something.
The original Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous made it clear to me—even as a young man—how gross capitalism could be. But even without the reboot, today’s headlines are constant reminders of how ugly concentrated wealth still is.
Just this week—mind you, it’s only Tuesday morning—Jeff Bezos saw The Washington Post lose over 200,000 subscribers after he—the owner—intervened in its editorial direction. This from a guy who’s repeatedly proclaimed a commitment to the “free press.” Perhaps that’s why most of WaPo’s content is paywalled? (Note: We all have bills, but Bezos has more dollars than common sense.)
Also this week—it’s still only Tuesday morning, y’all—Elon Musk showed up at Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally in a Nazi-inspired “Dark Gothic MAGA” hat. He either has no clue what he’s doing…or knows exactly what he’s doing. Either way, ugh.
Elon’s relentless need for attention has turned Twitter—rebranded as "X" by this marketing “genius”—into an even more toxic digital dumpster fire.
Many, myself included, now call it “Xitter” (pronounced “Shitter”).
Musk and the bankers who banked on his business acumen have lost 80% of their $44 billion investment since the 2022 buyout. And with ongoing legal battles piling up, it seems the only winners here are the attorneys.
But that’s just one of Musk’s recent missteps. For every good move his companies make, he derails the headlines with his unhinged posts and political grandstanding.
All I can say is “Fuck Elon.”
Then there are the sex-fueled power trips.
Sean Combs, once hailed as a hip-hop icon and mogul—by too many for too long— now faces trial on racketeering and sex trafficking charges. His notorious sex parties were an open secret, visible to anyone paying attention.
Guess it took 1,000 bottles of baby oil and lube to finally get on Lady Justice's radar.
Speaking of open secrets, Mike Jeffries, ex-CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, is similarly facing accusations of racketeering and sex trafficking. As much as I love Herb Ritts’ homoerotic photography, Abercrombie’s “sexploitation as marketing” was always a big turn-off for me.
The list goes on and on and on…but here are a few of my least favorite rich bitches:
LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH + INFAMOUS
Jeff Bezos = WaPO hemorrhaging subscribers and Amazon problems compound
Elon Musk = Blew 80% of his Twitter/X investment and continues to devalue his other companies, resulting in layoffs in most divisions
Sean Combs = Facing various charges and currently being held without bail
Mike Jeffries = Ex-Abercrombie CEO, accused of sexual abus and trafficking
Andrew Tate = Awaiting trial in Romania (with his brother) on multiple charges
Shari Redstone = Media mogul who inherited CBS, Paramount, and more, after her late (but not great) father died in 2020…and seems damned and determined to lose it all in 2024
Walton Family = Amassed $200 billion while their Walmart employees face low wages and exploitative conditions…fuck Bentonville
Are there any good rich people? Probably, but they’re either smart enough to steer clear of the worst or too busy with their own messes to make the headlines. Yet.
Once upon a time, Bill Gates—thanks to his and his now-ex-wife’s global initiatives—might have qualified. But even Gates couldn’t escape the dark gravitational pull of Jeffrey Epstein, whose shadow seems to taint even the so-called “good” billionaires and millionaires.
They say "money can’t buy happiness," but it sure can buy trouble—or at least a lot of headlines. Problematic rich bitches…maybe they’re only human too? Maybe.
Thanks for reading!
Clint
NEWS + VIEWS
Did Elon Musk really wear a MAGA hat with a Nazi font to Trump’s MSG rally? (Fast Company)
3 Walmart heirs are worth at least $100 billion each — and together they're way richer than Elon Musk (Business Insider)
Ben Bradlee’s Posthumous Advice to Jeff Bezos: You Need to Sell The Washington Post (Politico)
ON THIS DAY = OCTOBER 29
BIRTHDAYS
1891 = Fanny Brice = American actor and singer
1941 = George Davies = English fashion designer
1942 = Bob Ross = American painter and television host
1945 = Melba Moore = American singer-songwriter and actor
1946 = Peter Green = English singer-songwriter
1948 = Kate Jackson = American actor
1957 = Dan Castellaneta = American actor
1959 = Finola Hughes = English actor
1961 = Randy Jackson = American singer-songwriter and dancer
1971 = Winona Ryder = American actor
1972 = Tracee Ellis Ross = American actor
1980 = Ben Foster = American actor
CELEBRATIONS
EVENTS
1787 = Don Giovanni, the Mozart/Da Ponte opera, premieres in Prague.
1929 = Black Tuesday: The New York Stock Exchange crashes, ending the Great Bull Market of the 1920s and beginning the Great Depression.
1969 = The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet.
1981 = Gimme A Break! premieres on NBC.
1990 = Keeping Up Appearances premieres on BBC1.
1994 = Mariah Carey releases “All I Want For Christmas Is You.”
1998 = Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off on STS-95 with 77-year-old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space at that time.
PHOTO + QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I was the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work. The job requires you to be a mean, tough person. And I was fed up with it. I promised myself that if I ever got away from it, it wasn't going to be that way any more.”
Bob Ross
BOB ROSS!!!!?????!!!!! My oh my...
I only have two things to comment. Does Bob Ross give you a Lukus Ridgeton vibe too? And I have been arounds my far share of Rich people and I found all but one sickening. I adopted him as a father figure. He's resting comfortably.