ENNUI = noun = en·nui or än-ˈwē
a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction
Contrary to what some may think, I’m not always happy or sad. Or mad, even.
Mostly, like everyone I know and love, I live somewhere on the “Feeling Deeply” spectrum. Today, I’m feeling a wee ennui. How about you, boo?
Yesterday, driving home from brunch with some former colleagues (and forever friends), I passed two protests within the span of about ten minutes.
The first protest reminded me of a United Colors of Benetton ad: a motley mix of people from all walks of life, shouting and standing together in a united show of solidarity and support.
The second was a group of students from South Pasadena High School, marching down a busy street (with police protection), also holding homemade signs and chanting as they protested the Chump administration and ICE.
Seeing so many young people walking out of class with such conviction, willing to stand up to a political reality they had no hand in creating, gave me genuine hope. Maybe, just maybe, common decency and common sense will ultimately prevail.
Then came the twinge of guilt.
I realized I’d been hiding out from the news so much lately that I wasn’t even sure whether I’d missed something monumental. Maybe I had. Maybe it doesn’t even matter anymore. The chaos monsters want us confused and disturbed.
Every headline screams crisis now. Every scroll through social media feels like a running tally of how the world is unraveling in real time. Argument by argument. Outrage by outrage.
The volume is constant.
The stakes are always “unprecedented.”
The “state of emergency” is never, ever over.
And it feels like we’ve forgotten what “normal” even sounds like.
Chump and his cult members are still doing what they do best, feeding off division, noise, and spectacle. They have turned parts of Minnesota (and, if the “news” is to be believed, soon parts of Ohio) into flashpoints of unrest, orchestrated by warmongers and war profiteers.
Protesters are being assaulted, detained, and in some cases even killed. Journalists are being arrested simply for reporting what they see, for standing on the wrong side of the story, and challenging the official state-sanctioned narrative.
Is this how MAGA defines “great”? Probably. Fucking pedophiles and puppets.
These war crimes are being carried out by masked thugs with badges, empowered by an arrogant orange despot who believes he and his cult members are above the law. What do you expect from a bankrupt billionaire developer turned reality show star?
It’s hard not to feel the rage underneath it all. Fuck Chump. Fuck ICE for making fear a policy and violence a tool. And fuck all those who cheer him and them on. What fools and tools they are.
While streets across America filled with cries for justice, D.C.’s ruling class was busy walking the red carpet for the premiere of Melanie, a so-called “documentary” about the “useless as a third nipple” First Lady.
Jeff Bezos reportedly paid $40 million to license the film for Amazon, and another $35 million to market the vanity project. What a fucking waste! Imagine how many people that $75M could have helped. (By the way, in case you missed it, Melania personally profited $28M from the deal. She really doesn’t care, y’all.)
Brett Ratner, one of Hollywood’s most notorious sexual predators, came out of exile to direct this unintentional mockumentary. Which is apropos, considering Melanoma did marry a known sexual predator and was friends with Jeffrey Epstein. So I’m sure she felt right at home with Ratner’s lights, cameras, and actions.
This is the split-screen reality we’re living in: one side of the country is protesting for justice while the other preening and posturing at a “movie” premiere, trying to pretend they are above the fray.
Some days, it’s hard not to let cynicism and sadness win. But yesterday, somewhere between the protests, the headlines, and my own mental health, I whispered a quiet, probably naive prayer. For peace. For quiet. For healing.
We’re all just trying to hold it together in whatever ways we can. Maybe that looks like marching in the streets. Maybe it looks like unplugging for a week. Maybe it looks like sitting very still and admitting, without shame, that you don’t quite know what you feel anymore.
And maybe that’s okay.
We(e) ennui? Oui! Yes, indeed.
It’s not just weariness. It’s awareness.
Not apathy, but saturation. Not indifference, but overload.
Being an empathetic human being is hard. Really hard. The world throws chaos, cruelty, and indifference at us every day, and sometimes it feels impossible to hold space for your own feelings, let alone anyone else’s.
No one ever said that stitching the world back together would be easy. But every act of care, moment of awareness, and brave choice, however quiet, however imperfect, is a step in the right direction. Let’s keep moving and grooving forward, boo.
Keep calm and protest on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
01-31 = Betty Parsons (1900-1982) = American artist, art dealer, and collector 🌈
01-31 = Czeslaw Walek (1975- ) = Czech lawyer and activist 🌈
01-31 = Derek Jarman (1942-1994) = English artist, filmmaker, and activist 🌈
01-31 = Franz Schubert (1797-1828) = Austrian pianist and composer 🌈
01-31 = Lewis Vernon Harcourt (1863-1922) = British politician 🌈
01-31 = Patricia Velásquez (1971- ) = Venezuelan actor and model 🌈
01-31 = Philip Glass (1937- ) = American composer 🌈
01-31 = Portia de Rossi (1973- ) = Australian actor 🌈
01-31 = Tallulah Bankhead (1902-1968) = American actor 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.”
Derek Jarman
Well said, thank you
I'm right there with you, Clint. Thank you.