Time To Touch Grass, Y'all

Taking A YouTube Break + Going To Two Gardens

Photo by Christin R on Unsplash

Today’s my last full day on the MS Noordam, and I’ve decided to celebrate by going on my first-ever excursion. Treat yourself, right?

One of the best (and worst) things about being on this cruise is my limited internet. The WiFi package I paid for won’t let me anywhere near streaming services. Which means my almost all-day, all-night YouTube Premium habit has been forcibly paused.

I can’t even respond to comments on my own YouTube channel. It’s a weird, humbling experience, to say the least.

But honestly? It’s not all bad.

I can still peek at “news” headlines and social media. But I’ve been limiting my online time more and more lately. Frankly, ain’t nobody got time for all that bullshit. So a quick check, then I go offline before the toxicity sinks in.

I spent enough years doomscrolling and shitposting my way through the first Chump administration, convinced that being chronically online and outraged was the same thing as being engaged and helpful. It was/is not.

At some point, “staying informed” turned into “staying angry.” Don’t get me wrong: I still believe in speaking up and doing what I can, when I can, and where I can.

But at some point, I also realized that yelling into the social media void 24/7/365 doesn’t actually help anyone. If anything, it just keeps my stress levels high and extends my dependency on multiple high-blood pressure medications.

All that noise doesn’t just burn us out, it can make us resent even the people we agree with. For me, it’s too much fucking noise, all the fucking time.

Maybe instead of constantly reposting bad news, channel that energy into actually doing something that makes a difference? Or focus on finding more stories that make us feel connected and hopeful?

In the immortal words of Iyanla Vanzant, “Make a different choice!”

I’m guilty of this knee-jerk, circle-jerk bullshit too. So please don’t think I’m wagging my fingers at anyone in particular.

But in an effort to protect my own peace and mental health, I have to ration how much time and attention I give it anymore. So I do a little preaching to the choir here and there. But I’m not trying to win the Comment Section Olympics.

If constant outrage actually fixed things, we’d be living in a utopia by now.

Which brings me back to the cruise and doing something new and truly radical today: touching grass.

Back in 2008, on my very first cruise, me and my friends only had a few hours on Victoria Island. So we did what young folks on a budget do: We walked everywhere. We popped into the Empress Hotel like we belonged there, grabbed a few drinks at random pubs, and generally treated the city like it was our own private playground. It was fun. And exhausting.

Fast forward to 2026. I’m older, slower, and hopefully wiser now. So I had to get more realistic and strategic. This time around, I booked a proper excursion to The Butchart Gardens. No power walking across town. No more pretending I know where I’m going. A tour bus will be picking a small group of us up in a couple of hours and taking us to one of the most famous gardens in the world.

Fifty-five acres of curated, colorful, intentional beauty. The Sunken Garden. The Rose Garden. The Japanese Garden. Spaces designed to help us slow down and smell the roses. Then we’re off and to the Victoria Butterfly Gardens to appreciate…butterflies.

No “news” or notifications. No comment sections or hot takes.

Just flowers doing what flowers have always done, completely unaware of whatever nonsense is trending online. This is the kind of reset my doctor recommended a long time ago.

There’s something a little ridiculous about needing a cruise ship with limited internet to remind myself how to be a person in the real world. But here we are. And if the tradeoff for missing a few uploads and comments is getting a few hours of actual peace and quiet, I’ll take it. Gladly.

Because the internet will still be there when I get back. Loud as ever. Mad as ever. Trying to convince us all that everything is urgent, everything is broken, and everything requires an immediate emotional response.

But a garden doesn’t ask anything from you. It just exists.

So for a few hours on Victoria Island, I plan to unplug and touch grass.

Hope you choose to too, boo!
Clint 🌈✌️

COLLIDE PRESS is a reader-supported publication.
Please consider becoming a Paid Subscriber or Patron.

FROM THE ARCHIVES

---

BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY

• 04-25 = Andy Bell (1964- ) = English singer-songwriter 🌈

• 04-25 = Anja Pärson (1981- ) = Swedish alpine skier 🌈

• 04-25 = Cy Twombly (1928-2011) = American-Italian painter and sculptor 🌈

• 04-25 = Graham Payn (1918-2005) = South African-English actor and singer 🌈

• 04-25 = Jonathan Bailey (1988- ) = English actor 🌈

• 04-25 = King Edward II (1284-1327) = King of England 🌈

---

MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY

JONATHAN BAILEY

“I’d say I’m not openly gay. I’m just gay.”
Jonathan Bailey