Today is my last full day of being 53.
Tomorrow I turn 54. Which means another revolution around the sun, another excuse to eat cake, and another reminder that time is somehow both the fastest and slowest thing in the universe.
Some years disappear in the blink of an eye.
Others deserve their own Ken Burns documentary.
For me, fifty-three somehow managed to be both.
When I look back, I'm amazed by how much happened. Not because everything went according to plan. Because it most definitely didn't. I'm amazed because, somehow, I kept adapting. I kept moving forward. I kept making it work. Mostly.
If anything, my setbacks taught me more than my victories ever could.
Last July 26, just days after my 53rd birthday, I found myself in the emergency room after a freak accident that could have ended far worse than it did. It wasn’t exactly how I imagined kicking off the year. Or how fucking cute my medical tech was. Swoon.
Moments like that have a funny way of clarifying what matters.
Life isn’t guaranteed. None of us knows how many birthdays we’ll get, so I think every single one of them is worth celebrating.
Thankfully, the year wasn’t all hospitals, health scares, and hard lessons.
I also got to set sail on a trio of cruises, disconnect from everyday life, and reconnect with the simple joy of wandering somewhere new. There’s something magical about watching the shoreline disappear and realizing your biggest decision for the day is whether to order another cocktail or another slice of pizza.
I highly recommend both.
Even better than the places I’ve been are the people I’ve shared them with.
Some are the chosen family and friends I’ve known for decades. Others I’ve only recently met. And more than a few began as tiny profile pictures on the internet before becoming real people sitting across the table from me, laughing over a beverage or a bite.
In fact, in a few hours, I’m meeting a fellow Substacker and his partner in real life for the first time. I’m taking them out to lunch at one of my favorite barbecue restaurants. Good food. Good people. And a great excuse to enjoy some cornbread. Priorities, y’all.
I'm excited to meet them. Not because I expect us to become instant best friends, but because I love watching online friendships spill over into real life. It's a chance to swap comments and DMs for face-to-face conversation, break (corn)bread, and get to know each other beyond our devices and screens.
One of my favorite things about living in the Los Angeles area is that people are always passing through. Over the years, I’ve shared breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and happy hours with internet friends from all over the world.
Whenever I hear someone I know virtually is coming to town, I try to make a meet-up happen. Schedules don’t always line up. But when they do, it’s almost always magical.
Some of those meet-ups have lasted hours.
Some of those friendships have lasted for years.
That’s one of my favorite surprises of the Internet Age: sometimes the people you’ve met online turn out to be every bit as wonderful in person. Occasionally even funnier...and prettier.
Maybe the biggest things 53 reinforced for me are:
Progress isn’t linear.
Friendship isn’t linear.
Healing isn’t linear.
Life certainly isn’t linear.
Sometimes you take two steps forward and one step back. Sometimes you sprint ahead. Sometimes life tackles you, steals your lunch money, and sends you back to the starting line.
The good news is that you get to start again.
And if you’re paying attention, you don’t start from scratch.
You start with more experience.
You start a little wiser.
You start a little kinder.
You start a little more patient with yourself.
You start a little less interested in proving yourself and a little more interested in enjoying yourself.
Over the past year, I’ve made mistakes, missed opportunities, gotten in my own way, had setbacks, and changed course more than once.
But looking back, I don’t think those detours slowed me down.
I think they made me who I am today.
So here’s to 53.
Thank you for the lessons.
Thank you for the laughter.
Thank you for the friends, the adventures, the scares, the second chances, and the daily reminders that life is meant to be lived, not merely survived.
And here’s to 54.
I have no idea what’s coming next. But for the first time in a long time, I’m ready for whatever adventures and misadventures come my way.
Keep calm and reflect on!
Clint 🌈✌️
P.S. To celebrate my birthday tomorrow, I’m offering 54% off annual subscriptions. Today and tomorrow only. So if you’ve been thinking about becoming a paid subscriber, now’s a great time. Let’s get this birthday party started!
P.P.S. To everyone who’s already a paid subscriber or patron, THANK YOU! Your continued support helps make this wacky, weird, and wonderful experiment possible. And to all my free subscribers, I’m so grateful you’re along for the ride. Thank you too!
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
NSFW MONTAGES = On Substack
SFW MONTAGES = On YouTube
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
07-22 = Emily Saliers (1963- ) = American singer-songwriter 🌈
07-22 = Grover Dale (1935- ) = American actor, choreographer, and director 🌈
07-22 = Frederick Rolfe (1860-1913) = English writer, artist, and photographer 🌈
07-22 = James Whale (1889-1957) = English director and actor 🌈
07-22 = Rufus Wainwright (1973- ) = American singer-songwriter 🌈
MAN CRUSHES OF THE DAY
“A director must be pretty bad if he can’t get a thrill out of war, murder, robbery.”
James Whale
“I definitely have a Luddite’s approach to what’s going on. I find that as I get older, I get stupider.”
Rufus Wainwright
🌈Thank You For The Music Clint Abba. I'm watching these from your pages instead of the emails which is confusing for me now.
I'm pretty much obsessed with Lana Del Rey now especially the song Young and Beautiful. And I'm trying to see every version that she's has made. there's one from Rio live in which she doesn't even have to sing much because the entire audience is singing it for her🏳️🌈
Dear Lord, when I get to Heaven
Please, let me bring my man
When he comes, tell me that you'll let him in
Father, tell me if you can
All that grace, all that body
All that face makes me wanna party
He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds
Will you still love me, when I'm no longer young and beautiful?🎹🎹🎹🎹
That's my boy!! Happy birthday for tomorrow.
I don't celebrate my birthdays (for a variety of silly and valid reasons). If others want to celebrate with me then I agree. I prefer to celebrate every day that comes.