“Time, time, time…see what’s become of me.”
Paul Simon, “A Hazy Shade Of Winter”
“A Hazy Shade of Winter,” both the 1960s original by Simon & Garfunkel and the 1980s cover by The Bangles, has been echoing in my mind as I try to course-correct my recent habit of putting the “pro” in procrastination. What has become of me?!
Over the past week, I’ve been reading about how habits are formed and exploring productivity apps designed to help people like me get things done consistently.
I’m searching for structure. For something that will help me show up more reliably.
For now, that “something” appears to be Todoist, which I’m enjoying again. It was my go-to productivity app in the pre-pandemic world, when my personal and professional lives were both full and in constant motion. It helped me keep track of commitments, prioritize what mattered, and, most importantly, move things out of my head and into a system I could trust.
Using Todoist again doesn’t feel like learning something new. It feels like reconnecting with an old friend, one that helped keep me grounded, organized, and accountable.
When I first started taking YouTube seriously, and later Substack, I had no real plan. I didn’t have a strategy or a system. I was learning as I went. And yet, I was creating consistently and constantly.
As of today, on YouTube, I have published 418 public videos, 477 Shorts, and 55 Live “Replay” Streams. And on Substack, I’ve created at least 174 exclusive NSFW videos.
Seeing those numbers in one place doesn’t make me feel proud as much as it makes me feel aware. Because the person who created all that wasn’t more talented or more disciplined than I am now. He was simply less hesitant. He didn’t overthink every step. He didn’t wait for the perfect moment. He just got started early and worked late.
Somewhere along the way, that changed.
As I’ve become more experienced, I also became more self-aware. I started thinking more about what I was making and how it would be received. The stakes began to feel higher, even when nothing had really changed. Instead of creating freely, I hesitated more. Instead of acting on instinct, I started waiting for clarity.
This is what procrastination often looks like.
Not laziness, but hesitation.
Not incapacity, but friction.
What I’m realizing now is that productivity isn’t about finding the perfect app or system. Those tools can help, but they aren’t the foundation. The foundation is the simple act of getting back to the work.
Because I already know I’m capable of creating. I’ve done it hundreds of times. The evidence is there.
What I need now isn’t proof of my ability. I’ve already proven, many times over, that I can create and follow through. What I need now are stronger habits and routines. Not the kind powered by fleeting motivation, which arrives unpredictably and disappears just as quickly. But the kind rooted in structure. In repetition. In making the decision to begin whether I feel inspired or not.
Because readiness is unreliable. Confidence fluctuates. Energy rises and falls. Habit, however, can exist independently of all of that. Habit reduces the negotiation. It removes the question of whether or not I feel like starting and replaces it with something simpler and more durable:
This is what I do. I show up. I begin. And I let the act of starting carry me forward.
Time changes all of us. It brings experience, perspective, and sometimes doubt. But it also brings clarity. It reminds us of who we’ve been and who we still have the ability to become.
I’m not starting from scratch. I’m starting from experience.
The work hasn’t gone anywhere. The ability hasn’t disappeared. The ideas are still there. My habits have room for improvement. And that isn’t failure. It’s an opportunity for growth.
This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about returning to someone I’ve already proven I can be. And choosing, once again, to show up.
Keep calm…it’s time!
Clint 🌈✌️
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Procrastination....I'll sort it out tomorrow.. It'll wait😏 Cheers DougT🏴🇬🇧
Clint, You say: "What I need now are stronger habits and routines. Not the kind powered by fleeting motivation, which arrives unpredictably and disappears just as quickly. But the kind rooted in structure. In repetition. In making the decision to begin whether I feel inspired or not." Wondering if your "procastination" is real (no offense) or if you are too hard on yourself? Does the "procrastination" get in the way and prevent things from ever getting done? I wonder because I used to feel that I was not disciplined enough and used to beat myself up over it. Don't know when the change happened but now it is much easier to not only procasticnate when I want or need to but also to continue getting things done. Perhaps, for me, it is because I am no longer responsible to anyone other than myself. Family, dead. Husband, dead. Gigi, my cat, alive but easy. No judgement here, just wondering and interested in how others approach life!
Wrote a piece on procastination:
https://open.substack.com/pub/mhorvich/p/new-procrastination-and-other-behavioral?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web
Fondly, Michael