You are so right. Memories are re-edited, reconstructed, each time you visit them. We never ever accurately recall the past reality. Many memories are simply alterations of hundreds of visits or recollections. We do not have accurate or fixed perceptions of who we were or how others were.
You are so right on, my man. Can’t rewrite history, can’t change what happened. But we can choose what to carry forward and what to leave behind. Oh baby, have I had to exercise that principal in my life.
I have to "own up" here. About 9 years ago I put together a rather huge 'book' entitled "Grampa Dennis". I included photos from childhood on, writings I thought were wise, witty or just important for my grandchildren to read. That sucker is about 3" thick!!! I spared nothing, including nearly nekkid pics from my IML contest, raunchy descriptions of my adventures on my year-long motorcycle trip - the works. Articles I've written and lots written about me, including front page announcement our first same sex wedding in Lincoln County in 2014. It's not for the faint of heart, trusting and hoping that my grandkids were not the fainting type. Each of them received a copy of the book and $3K for their 18th birthday. I'm holding the final copy (actually, the original) for my grandson who won't be 18 until September 2027 and I've upped the cash to $4K (inflation). I gave one to my son as well so he could read up ahead of inevitable questions!! It was fun to put together and impressed myself with how "public" a personality I was back in the day. One of the primary reasons was the total lack of information my parents and grandparents shared with us about what their lives were about before we were 'involved' with them. And I'd rather they hear it from ME than any other sources.
Oh, Dennis, how I love that! Your son and grandkids should be so honored to hear all your adventures and misadventures. My aunt did a similar book. It’s framed as her book of recipes, but she inserted lots of stories in the mix. I was a lucky recipient. It’s one of my most treasured possessions. Cheers!
It was a labor of love...........but also a bit of an ego trip. If you can't be proud of your own accomplishments, how can you expect anyone else to be? I love reading your own mind-wanderings and self-awarenesses you let us see through your postings. Keep it up!!!
I think we can overwrite some of the corrupt files from our past. When we have a newer experience that's similar to an old painful one but ends differently, it can replace the corrupt file with a healthier one. Some neuroscientists believe that stepping outside your comfort zone is one way to increase neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to rewire itself through new experiences. I believe it's possible because I've done it myself.
Thank you for that sage perspective, Penne! My brain is sometimes like a dog with a bone…it doesn’t wanna try new things. But I know it can be fun and painless. Mostly. Hope you and yours are doing well…cheers!
Nothing really started to change for me until I started at home ketamine therapy. It really did change my entire life, and I do recommend people at least look into it if you're really stuck in your old ways and nothing else is working. It's a bit of a factory reset for the noggin.
I never had a "narrative" memory (who did what or said what, when), and only have some clarity from having to put together resumes, especially government resumes. Looking back now, I have dozens of iterations of "who I am" and maybe more. WTF! Who you believe you are is a negotiation between what "actually" happened and where you are now. Ultimately, you're never the same person even from moment to moment. It's disconcerting, when you notice it. Tapestry weaving may be similar. Or to quote Saroyan: "No foundation. No foundation all the way down the line."
Love it, Clarke. I think I have a higher opinion of my “narrative” memory than it deserves. But I appreciate the various perspectives of “who am I” answers that bobble to and fro in my head. Always a pleasure, kind sir!
Clint. The memory is a funny thing. Mine started acting up when I turned 40. That was the beginning of list making and then having to remember to look at the lists. I was teaching at the time. When I would be under pressure or overworked, my memory would act up. By now, 81, it has settled down. Lots of it I just let go because there is too much to try to remember. Also, I would guess I do not remember what I do not remember. (Cue your chuckle) Other things I try to remember, cannot, and announce to no one in particular, "Fuck It!" Also, that is one of the good things about writing memoirs, no one can falult you or accuse you for/of changing order of things and/or embellishing. adding to, taking away. Unless you lie commpletely, than it is fiction no longer creative non-fiction. So there. Fondly, Michael
I’m with you, Michael. If I ever write a memoir, it will certainly be labelled a work of “creative non-fiction.” Not only because my memory isn’t always accurate, but because I’m from Texas and love a good tall tale that’s based on real-life events. :-p Cheers, my dears!
Yuppers Brian I've messaged Troy a few times about the 'older' glory days of Sitges life 😎 The old El Horno bar/club, the Balmins beach, the walk to Dead man's beach, Playa del Muerto, sighhhhh memories
Nice one Troy. It's been puddles all week here in 🏴🇬🇧 too, we are not prepared for constant heat (or humidity) in UK like this. Hopefully it will cool off a tad next few days with threats of thunder and lightning storms.
Brian, you just answered your own question/s. I stopped carrying my baggage around a long time past. My deepest memories/history is carried in my head. No physical ephemera accompany me. The Ivory Tower appears sparse to some BUT I have lived a life on my own terms. No apologies offered or expected. As, and when it comes I want no grief, or funeral, just a wooden box on a simple Cremation Plan. No mourners but anyone who wants a 🍺🍺🍺 or two on my account will be welcome to it. Now if I had been a usual suspect I'm sure a fitting end game plan might have been a different thing. At my superior age I wouldn't think my status will be changing very soon 😏 You have probably seen the news of the Very high temperatures in the UK. We are not used to it!!! A good upside to it many a shirtless sports short wearing lad/bloke/dad can be seen 😯😎😎 So Cheers from a wilting DougT 🏴🇬🇧
You are superior indeed. But not because of your age. You are a man of generosity and kindness. I will cheer you on in life, if you don’t mind. I’m sure I’m far from the only one whose day you brighten. Thank you for being a friend. Cheers, Dear Doug!
Thank you, dear Jim. Here’s hoping your intrusive memories morph and change as you do, allowing you to fly higher and higher, without fear or regret. You know I’ve got my pom-poms at the ready for you…
🌈🖖
🌈😘
You are so right. Memories are re-edited, reconstructed, each time you visit them. We never ever accurately recall the past reality. Many memories are simply alterations of hundreds of visits or recollections. We do not have accurate or fixed perceptions of who we were or how others were.
Amen to all that, Uncle Ray. Every story I tell is “creative non-fiction.” :-p
You are so right on, my man. Can’t rewrite history, can’t change what happened. But we can choose what to carry forward and what to leave behind. Oh baby, have I had to exercise that principal in my life.
You too, boo?! I’m getting better at it. Hope you’re having a great weekend!
I have to "own up" here. About 9 years ago I put together a rather huge 'book' entitled "Grampa Dennis". I included photos from childhood on, writings I thought were wise, witty or just important for my grandchildren to read. That sucker is about 3" thick!!! I spared nothing, including nearly nekkid pics from my IML contest, raunchy descriptions of my adventures on my year-long motorcycle trip - the works. Articles I've written and lots written about me, including front page announcement our first same sex wedding in Lincoln County in 2014. It's not for the faint of heart, trusting and hoping that my grandkids were not the fainting type. Each of them received a copy of the book and $3K for their 18th birthday. I'm holding the final copy (actually, the original) for my grandson who won't be 18 until September 2027 and I've upped the cash to $4K (inflation). I gave one to my son as well so he could read up ahead of inevitable questions!! It was fun to put together and impressed myself with how "public" a personality I was back in the day. One of the primary reasons was the total lack of information my parents and grandparents shared with us about what their lives were about before we were 'involved' with them. And I'd rather they hear it from ME than any other sources.
Oh, Dennis, how I love that! Your son and grandkids should be so honored to hear all your adventures and misadventures. My aunt did a similar book. It’s framed as her book of recipes, but she inserted lots of stories in the mix. I was a lucky recipient. It’s one of my most treasured possessions. Cheers!
It was a labor of love...........but also a bit of an ego trip. If you can't be proud of your own accomplishments, how can you expect anyone else to be? I love reading your own mind-wanderings and self-awarenesses you let us see through your postings. Keep it up!!!
Ego trips can be good for frequent flyer points! Thank you for the kind words about my motley mix of messiness. :-p Cheers, Dennis!
I think we can overwrite some of the corrupt files from our past. When we have a newer experience that's similar to an old painful one but ends differently, it can replace the corrupt file with a healthier one. Some neuroscientists believe that stepping outside your comfort zone is one way to increase neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to rewire itself through new experiences. I believe it's possible because I've done it myself.
Thank you for that sage perspective, Penne! My brain is sometimes like a dog with a bone…it doesn’t wanna try new things. But I know it can be fun and painless. Mostly. Hope you and yours are doing well…cheers!
Nothing really started to change for me until I started at home ketamine therapy. It really did change my entire life, and I do recommend people at least look into it if you're really stuck in your old ways and nothing else is working. It's a bit of a factory reset for the noggin.
I have heard good things about micro-dosing. Might look into it. Cheers!
I never had a "narrative" memory (who did what or said what, when), and only have some clarity from having to put together resumes, especially government resumes. Looking back now, I have dozens of iterations of "who I am" and maybe more. WTF! Who you believe you are is a negotiation between what "actually" happened and where you are now. Ultimately, you're never the same person even from moment to moment. It's disconcerting, when you notice it. Tapestry weaving may be similar. Or to quote Saroyan: "No foundation. No foundation all the way down the line."
Love it, Clarke. I think I have a higher opinion of my “narrative” memory than it deserves. But I appreciate the various perspectives of “who am I” answers that bobble to and fro in my head. Always a pleasure, kind sir!
Clint. The memory is a funny thing. Mine started acting up when I turned 40. That was the beginning of list making and then having to remember to look at the lists. I was teaching at the time. When I would be under pressure or overworked, my memory would act up. By now, 81, it has settled down. Lots of it I just let go because there is too much to try to remember. Also, I would guess I do not remember what I do not remember. (Cue your chuckle) Other things I try to remember, cannot, and announce to no one in particular, "Fuck It!" Also, that is one of the good things about writing memoirs, no one can falult you or accuse you for/of changing order of things and/or embellishing. adding to, taking away. Unless you lie commpletely, than it is fiction no longer creative non-fiction. So there. Fondly, Michael
I’m with you, Michael. If I ever write a memoir, it will certainly be labelled a work of “creative non-fiction.” Not only because my memory isn’t always accurate, but because I’m from Texas and love a good tall tale that’s based on real-life events. :-p Cheers, my dears!
https://youtu.be/wC9TvCcH0WE?is=473dFV_35lbTSV1P
And another
Love it. Thank, Doug!
https://youtu.be/wC9TvCcH0WE?is=473dFV_35lbTSV1P
Just to brighten the day, Sitges a European 🌈 destination
Watched most of this, looking for Substack’s very own @Mr. Troy Ford. He’s an ex-pat living in Sitges. Happy Pride!
Yuppers Brian I've messaged Troy a few times about the 'older' glory days of Sitges life 😎 The old El Horno bar/club, the Balmins beach, the walk to Dead man's beach, Playa del Muerto, sighhhhh memories
Fun! I hope some of your old haunts are still alive and kicking. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Cheers!
hehe You probably didn’t know what to look for - I was the pink puddle on the ground melted in the heat… 😘🩷🌈
I think I would be melted too…it looked and sounded hot. Hydrate and keep it easy, breezy, and beautiful, Covergirl! :-*
Nice one Troy. It's been puddles all week here in 🏴🇬🇧 too, we are not prepared for constant heat (or humidity) in UK like this. Hopefully it will cool off a tad next few days with threats of thunder and lightning storms.
Cheers DougT
Brian, you just answered your own question/s. I stopped carrying my baggage around a long time past. My deepest memories/history is carried in my head. No physical ephemera accompany me. The Ivory Tower appears sparse to some BUT I have lived a life on my own terms. No apologies offered or expected. As, and when it comes I want no grief, or funeral, just a wooden box on a simple Cremation Plan. No mourners but anyone who wants a 🍺🍺🍺 or two on my account will be welcome to it. Now if I had been a usual suspect I'm sure a fitting end game plan might have been a different thing. At my superior age I wouldn't think my status will be changing very soon 😏 You have probably seen the news of the Very high temperatures in the UK. We are not used to it!!! A good upside to it many a shirtless sports short wearing lad/bloke/dad can be seen 😯😎😎 So Cheers from a wilting DougT 🏴🇬🇧
You are superior indeed. But not because of your age. You are a man of generosity and kindness. I will cheer you on in life, if you don’t mind. I’m sure I’m far from the only one whose day you brighten. Thank you for being a friend. Cheers, Dear Doug!
Thank you, dear Jim. Here’s hoping your intrusive memories morph and change as you do, allowing you to fly higher and higher, without fear or regret. You know I’ve got my pom-poms at the ready for you…
Jim 🫂🫂 Cheers DougT
Thank you, Doug, for your kindness and brotherly love. :-*