I stopped in Ashland, OR, again last night. Not because I planned to, but because after six hours in the car, winding through mountain passes and inching through one-lane construction zones, I needed to be off the road.
I wasn’t thinking about destination anymore. I was thinking about relief. A bed. A door that locks. Silence that isn’t filled with road noise and a semi-truck isn’t trying to drive up my asshole.
I’m still more than ten hours from home. Odds are, I’ll repeat the pattern tonight. Drive. Think. Feel. Pull over. Sleep. Rinse. Repeat.
This is the in-between place.
Not quite where I started. Not even close to where I’m going. Just…here.
And “here” has a way of asking questions.
What am I even doing right now? Not just the literal act of driving up and down the West Coast, but the bigger picture. The choices. The pivots. The quiet recalibrations that don’t make for dramatic storytelling but somehow feel more important than the big, obvious milestones.
When did everything start to feel so…layered? The world, especially. It’s loud. It’s heavy. It’s relentless. And even when I step away, even when I’m surrounded by beautiful views, new cities, old friends, and delicious meals, that weight doesn’t fully clock out. It rides shotgun.
Where am I, really? Geographically, sure, I can pinpoint where I am on a map. But internally, it’s less precise. Somewhere between tired and grateful. Somewhere between overwhelmed and grounded. Somewhere between wanting to unplug completely and wanting to stay engaged, informed, aware.
Who am I in this moment? Not the version of me from a few weeks ago, and not quite the version I’ll be when I finally pull into my driveway. Travel does that. Distance does that. Time alone with your thoughts definitely does that.
Why does all of this feel both necessary and a little disorienting? Because slowing down forces honesty. Because when you strip away routine, distraction, and the comfort of the familiar, you’re left with whatever’s actually going on underneath. No buffering. No background noise to hide behind.
And maybe the most important question:
How am I? The real answer is…mixed. I’m tired, physically. Long drives will do that. My shoulders feel it. My eyes feel it. My patience feels it.
I’m also mentally stretched. Not broken, not spiraling, just…stretched. Like a painter’s canvas, ready to get the next creative project started. I’ve been holding a lot at once and I haven’t quite set any of it down yet.
But I’m also okay. More than okay, sometimes.
There’s something quietly reassuring about this in-between space. It’s not comfortable in the traditional sense, but it’s honest. It’s transitional. It’s proof that I’m moving, I’m making progress, even if I don’t have every answer mapped out.
I think we spend so much time trying to rush through these spaces. To get to the next destination, to the next version of ourselves, to the next sense of certainty. But there’s something to be said for sitting in the middle of it. For acknowledging that not everything needs to be resolved immediately.
Right now, my job isn’t to have it all figured out. It’s to keep going. To find the next place to rest. To notice what’s shifting, internally and externally. To let the questions exist without forcing answers that aren’t ready yet.
Another hotel tonight. Another stretch of road. Another few hours of thinking, or maybe not thinking at all.
Eventually, I’ll get home.
But for now, this in-between place is where I am.
And for the moment, that’s enough.
Keep calm and carry on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
04-30 = Alice B. Toklas (1877-1967) = American-born memoirist 🌈
04-30 = Matilda Mary Hays (1820-1897) = British actor and writer 🌈
04-30 = Onir (1969- ) = Bengali Indian filmmaker 🌈
04-30 = Tsukioka Yoshitoshi (1839-1892) = Japanese artist 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“Look, I’m not odd. I’m just trying to be an actor; not a movie star, an actor.”
Montgomery Clift
Clint, Welcome to the Bardo, the Inbetween Place. Sounds like your adventure helped you do a lot of processing. That is good and it is also difficult. Keep on Keeping On friend. Fondly, Michael
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