Sonic Makes It Go...BOOOOM!!! 🤯

SpaceX And Chill? Nope, Nope, Nope.

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

After spending the day with two of my favorite people, I was winding down for the night, chatting with one of those people, my best friend of the past 30 years.

We were having one of those end-of-the-day, “how-YOU-doing?” decompression calls. At around 10:40pm, our conversation was rudely interrupted when we both heard something. Something weird. And LOUD.

My friend lives about 15 miles south of me, and whatever it was, it rattled loudly and proudly through both our homes. A deep, percussive BOOM that felt like it came from inside the earth…or was it from the sky?

Living in Southern California, we both initially thought, “Earthquake?” It’s usually a good first guess. But this wasn’t that. The house didn’t rock or roll…and there was no shake in this possible quake. The sound “felt” different. More like a hit than a shift.

My friend scoured the internet for clues about the source of the ruckus.

After not finding anything, we wrapped up our call, both a little jumpy but resigned. It was just another thing-that-goes-bump-in-the-night mystery in the City of Angels.

Fast-forward to this morning, and I wake up to a series of texts from friends and fellow night owls:

“Did you hear that sonic boom???”
“It was SpaceX.”
“Elon Musk is at it again.”

Fucking Elon. Of course it was him. Of course he sent some overpriced metal phallus extender hurtling through the stratosphere, punching holes in the sky like Earth is his personal, private playground. The rest of us should be lucky he hasn’t gotten around to firing us…what a fucking asshole he is.

F. Elon Musk is the epitome of everything I can’t stand about the human race: arrogance disguised as innovation, ego wrapped in a supervillain complex, a business “genius” revealed as ketamine-fueled clout goblin.

This so-called “man” is like a car alarm that won’t shut the fuck up—a walking, talking “LOOK AT ME” pick-me in billionaire form.

Someone please steal this mfer already…

The only sound I want to hear from Musk is the whoosh of him leaving the planet permanently. What a useless attention whore he is.

Elon doesn’t give a fuck about technology. Or innovation. Or even exploration. He only cares about performative patriotism and pissing contests. He’s busy destroying more of the ozone layer and polluting outer space while the rest of us are trying to sleep. Or feel safe in our own homes. Or not flinch when the air itself growls and cracks open for the sake of some billionaire’s ego trip.

But okay. SpaceX. Sonic boom. Mystery solved.

The thing is, stuff like this sticks with me. That eerie, gut-drop moment when the world goes off-script for a second. When I’m not sure if it's an earthquake, a missile, an alien invasion, or just Elon fucking Musk playing God with his toys again.

It’s weird. And unsettling. And not exactly the vibe I wanted at the end of an otherwise delightful day (filled with dim sum and more dim sum). But such is life here in the City of Lost Angels—where the ground moves, the sky explodes, and billionaires break the sound barrier while the rest of us just want to unwind and get a good night’s sleep.

Keep calm and carry on!
Clint 🌈✌️

COLLIDE PRESS is a reader-supported publication.
Please consider becoming a paid subscriber or patron.

Thank you. Yes, YOU, boo!

ON THIS DAY = MAY 25

BIRTHDAYS

• 1803 = Ralph Waldo Emerson = American poet and philosopher

• 1869 = Robert Ross = Canadian journalist and art critic 🌈

• 1908 = Theodore Roethke = American poet

• 1926 = Claude Akins = American actor

• 1927 = Robert Ludlum = American soldier and author

• 1929 = Beverly Sills = American soprano and actor

• 1931 = Irwin Winkler = American director and producer

• 1932 = John Gregory Dunne = American novelist, screenwriter, and critic

• 1935 = W. P. Kinsella = Canadian novelist and short story writer

• 1938 = Raymond Carver = American short story writer and poet

• 1939 = Dixie Carter = American actor and singer

• 1939 = Ian McKellen = English actor 🌈

• 1940 = Nobuyoshi Araki = Japanese photographer

• 1943 = Leslie Uggams = American actor and singer

• 1944 = Frank Oz = English-born American puppeteer, filmmaker, and actor

• 1951 = Bob Gale = American director, producer, and screenwriter

• 1953 = Eve Ensler = American playwright and producer

• 1963 = George Hickenlooper = American director and producer

• 1963 = Mike Myers = Canadian-American actor, singer, and screenwriter

• 1967 = Mark Rosewater = American head designer of Magic: The Gathering

• 1969 = Anne Heche = American actor 🌈

• 1970 = Jamie Kennedy = American actor, producer, and screenwriter

• 1970 = Octavia Spencer = American actor and author

• 1976 = Cillian Murphy = Irish actor

• 1976 = Ethan Suplee = American actor

• 1981 = Anette Trettebergstuen = Norwegian politician 🌈

EVENTS

• 1878 = Gilbert and Sullivan's comic opera H.M.S. Pinafore opens at the Opera Comique in London.

• 1895 = Playwright, poet and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison.

• 1925 = Scopes Trial: John T. Scopes is indicted for teaching human evolution in Tennessee.

• 1933 = Walt Disney’s Three Little Pigs premieres at Radio City Music Hall, featuring the hit song "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?"

• 1953 = The first public television station in the United States officially begins broadcasting as KUHT from the campus of the University of Houston.

• 1967 = Barefoot In The Park is released in theaters.

• 1977 = Star Wars: A New Hope is released in theaters.

• 1978 = The first “Gay Day” is held at Disneyland in Southern California. A group entity calling itself The Tavern Guild rented Disneyland for a private party. More than 15,000 people attended, making it the largest private party ever held at Disneyland. It represented one of the first times gay people congregated in these numbers outside a gay pride parade.

• 1979 = Alien is released in theaters.

• 1983 = Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi is released in theaters.

• 1986 = The Hands Across America event takes place.

• 2011 = The Oprah Winfrey Show airs its final episode after 25 seasons.

HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES

• Geek Pride Day

• National Tap Dance Day

• National Wine Day

• Towel Day (in honour of the work of the writer Douglas Adams)

PORTRAIT + QUOTES OF THE DAY

“If I was on a march at the moment I would be saying to everyone: 'Be honest with each other. Admit there are limitless possibilities in relationships, and love as many people as you can in whatever way you want, and get rid of your inhibitions, and we'll all be happy.’”
Ian Mckellen

“I'm not quite as cool as I would like to be, really.”
Ian Mckellen

MORE COLLIDE PRESS

• SHOP = Art Prints + Merch + Pride

• SUBSCRIBE = Substack + YouTube

• SUPPORT = Amazon + Ko-Fi