"Pant's-Pooped Terrified"
At Least We Have Comedy, Right?
There are daysāhell, whole weeksāwhere just glancing at the headlines feels like sticking your face into a blender full of battery acid and broken dreams.
The ānewsā cycle is relentless, chaotic, and utterly soul-crushing. Climate collapse, democracy on life support, billionaires hoarding everything for themselves. Frankly, itās all too much.
And just when you think it canāt get worse, BOOM!
The latest clusterfuck? Bombing Iran without authorization. No vote, no oversight, no accountability. Just another unhinged decision dropped like a match on a global powder keg. Because apparently, nothing screams āstable leadershipā like launching strikes on a sovereign nation while half the country is still arguing over gas prices and drag queens.
If I didnāt laugh, Iād cry. And honestly, Iāve already done enough crying this year.
Thatās why, in this era of pantās-pooped panic and barely-contained existential dread, Iāve found salvation in the one place offering both perspective and catharsis: comedy.
Not just cheap laughs or distraction, but smart, razor-sharp commentary.
Satire that slices through the bullshit like a hot knife through hypocrisy.
Iām talking about people like Trae Crowder, the "Liberal Redneck" whose Southern drawl delivers biting truth bombs in between barbecue metaphors and exasperated rants about the very people trying to drag us back to the 1950s. Or earlier.
Or Seth Meyers, whose āA Closer Lookā segments manage to thread the needle between funny and terrifyingāmaking it just barely bearable to hear how everythingās on fire, with punchlines that land just before you start hyperventilating.
And of course, John Oliver, the British-accented prophet of HBOās LastWeek Night, whose team somehow turns horrifying topics like government corruption, tech monopolies, and prison labor into well-researched exposĆ©s that make me laugh out loud, then Google ten different things.
Comedy, at its best, isnāt escapismāitās clarity. Itās a way of naming the absurdity, exposing the injustice, and reminding us that weāre not alone in seeing how fucked up things really are.
It helps us process. It helps us feel.
It helps us cope.
Because yeahāIām pants-pooped terrified.
But at least Iām not humorless.
And as long as I can still laugh at the madness, maybe I can outlast it.
Keep calm and carry on!
Clint šāļø
VINTAGE PHOTOS ANIMATED SHORTS
COLLIDE PRESS is a reader-supported publication.
Please consider becoming a paid subscriber or patron.
Big thanks to all whoāve subscribed and/or supported!
FYC = LGBTQ-RUN SUBSTACKS
BOYSLUT // Ford Knows Books // Gay Buffet // Gay Sex Coaching // Okay McKay // PalCinema, Television, & Music // Qstack (The LGBTQIA+ Directory of Substacks) // Sitting Queerly // That Trans Friend You Didn't Know You Needed // The Caftan Chronicles // The Queer Love Project // Undividing with Karl Dunn
ON THIS DAY = JUNE 24
BIRTHDAYS
1842 = Ambrose Bierce = American short story writer, essayist, and journalist
1850 = Herbert Kitchener = British Army officer and administrator š
1865 = Robert Henri = American painter and educator
1871 = Christabel Marshall = English educator and poet š
1893 = Roy O. Disney = American businessman and Walt Disney co-founder
1895 = Jack Dempsey = American boxer and soldier
1936 = Robert Downey Sr. = American actor and director
1939 = Brigitte Fontaine = French singer
1940 = Vittorio Storaro = Italian cinematographer
1942 = Michele Lee = American actor and singer
1944 = Jeff Beck = English guitarist and songwriter
1947 = Mick Fleetwood = English-American drummer
1950 = Pierre Commoy = French artist (Pierre et Gilles) š
1958 = Tommy Lister Jr. = American actor and wrestler
1960 = Siedah Garrett, American singer-songwriter
1977 = Stacy Sykora = American volleyball player š
1986 = Solange Knowles = American singer-songwriter and actor
1987 = Lionel Messi = Argentinian footballer
1993 = Beanie Feldstein = American actor š
EVENTS
1916 = Mary Pickford becomes the first female film star to sign a million-dollar contract.
1949 = The first tv western, Hopalong Cassidy, premieres on NBC.
1957 = In Roth v. United States, the U.S. Supreme Court rules that obscenity is not protected by the First Amendment.
1970 = Myra Breckinridge is released in theaters.
1973 = The UpStairs Lounge arson attack takes place at a gay bar located on the second floor of the three-story building at 141 Chartres Street in the French Quarter of New Orleans, Louisiana, US. Thirty-two people die as a result of fire or smoke inhalation.
2016 = POTUS Barack Obama announces the designation of the first national monument to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights. The Stonewall National Monument encompasses Christopher Park, the Stonewall Inn, and the surrounding streets and sidewalks that were the sites of the Stonewall Riots.
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
Pride Month (ongoing)
PORTRAIT + QUOTES OF THE DAY
āA champion is someone who gets up when he can't.ā
Jack Dempsey
āI was a pretty good fighter.
But it was the writers who made me great.ā
Jack Dempsey
https://youtu.be/TRIlefTebvU?si=pyacdTjlIdapRxYx
Now then Clint some tasty snippets of a very highly related UK TV comedy show, from the recent past to help your mood at poopy pants antics. I don't know if you ever saw any on šŗšø PBS of (Dame) Patricia Rutledge as Hyacinth Bucket in Keeping Up Appearance. Her character portrays her as upper middle class trying to rise above a lower class family background. Her surname is translated into Hyacinth Bouquet, not Bucket. She strives to be better than everyone else (and dare I say it, a Karen) and of course she always comes unstuck. Her unseen son Sheridan and his flat mate Tarquin feature in a lot of phone conversations, without Hyacinth realising they are more than friends but it's never hinted at as š Hyacinth is noted for holding her Candle Light supper events. So, Clint I hope you enjoy the taster šš Cheers DougT š«š“ š¬š§
I'm less terrified and more 'Combat Stress Reaction' (less acute version of shell-shocked). I hardly follow the news anymore because it seems everybody's frantically trying to complete all the items on Dilbert's list 'You are Wrong Because...' It's too surreal for me to handle. My only media consumption are half hour gay 'Harlequin Romance'-type short stories and half hour sci-fi. Both are on YT and are wonderful, mindless escapes from reality and safe sleeping pills as well:-)