After three days of driving, I hit pause yesterday and stayed in my pj’s all day.
Miss M made a delicious brunch that tasted even better because I didn’t have to rush through it to get back on the road. We lingered. We talked. About the big shit. About the little shit. About everything in between.
My sister-from-another-mister and I have had a standing weekly phone call for years. But sitting across from each other, sharing the same space, hits different. No screens. No distractions. Just real time, real reactions, real connection. It’s better than texts or emails or even calls. Fuller.
Around 2pm, I excused myself to go take an epic nap. While only an hour and change, it felt like a full system reboot.
Later, an old friend stopped by, and just like that, the day kept unfolding in the best, most low-key way.
We ended up cussing and discussing our lives, our liberties, and our pursuit of happiness. The past few years have been a rollercoaster, not just for me but for most everyone I know. High highs. Low lows. A whole lot of hanging on for dear life and hoping for the best.
The good news is most of my dears, nears, and queers made it through. The bad news is that a lot of us came out the other side with a few battle wounds that are still healing.
So, in the name of healing, Miss M ordered us a large melt-in-your-mouth pizza from Pagliacci Pizza, a true Seattle institution.
If you’re ever in Seattle, treat yourself and just order one. Or more than one. Their pizzas are simple-but-decadent pleasures. Warm, cheesy, a little over the top, and somehow perfectly suited to the moment. We ate, we laughed, and for a while, the outside world just… stayed outside.
Somewhere between the pajamas, the deep conversations, the nap, the surprise visit, and that ridiculously good pizza, I realized something:
I’m ready to get off the rollercoaster. I don’t even like rollercoasters, so why the fuck am I still riding one? It’s time to step off and figure out what a more grounded, less chaotic life actually looks like.
Maybe that means finally addressing some old wounds. Maybe it means finally working through some long-overdue healing. Or maybe it just means loosening my grip on the safety bar and trusting that I’ll be okay.
I want something different now. I want something more intentional. A little more grown. A little more…fun, in a way that actually feeds me instead of draining me.
Call it growth. Call it curiosity. Call it finally listening to myself. And listening to my sister-from-another-mister too, because she is wise, y’all.
Whatever’s around the corner, I’m making space for it. I’m getting ready. I can feel the good times percolating.
Keep calm and caffeinate on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
04-13 = Deborah Batts (1947-2020) = America lawyer and judge 🌈
04-13 = Lanford Wilson (1937-2011) = American playwright 🌈
04-13 = Ole von Beust (1955- ) = German politician 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“If you can no longer think about the future, and you once dreamed of everlasting love, don’t give up the dream, find it again.”
Lanford Wilson
Most people speak of rebirth periods. We are continuously rebirthing. We can call it growing. I am not the person I was yesterday or who I will be tomorrow. It may be less than 1% of a difference. The tastebuds on my tongue are totally replaced every 2 weeks but each time there are fewer of them than before. Children have a much more intense taste sensation than someone in their 30s or 40s. Individual red blood cells are replaced every four months but every day some die and are replaced. Same goes for every cell and organ in your body.
Living is change. Psychologically, emotionally we are a process in change, hour by hour, day by day. Each of our memories are distorted and incompletely recorded, moment by moment. Even our remembering alters and deteriorates the memory.
None of us are the person we were yesterday, or even an hour ago. We are reborn, moment to moment. We are largely totally unaware because we value the idea of unchanging constancy, of knowing who and what we are. It is illusion.
You are growing, developing, Clint, - as we all are, if we only recognised it. Embrace it, dear.
How can the pun be unintentional? But it is so good to hear that you are safe and puget sound. Committing to change makes change happen.