At 6’4”—and at more pounds than I care to admit—I’ve spent my whole life trying to “fit in.” Literally and figuratively. Chairs, airplane seats, T-shirts, social circles—it’s all been a squeeze.
Over the years, some of my dearest and nearest have tried to chastise or shame me for refusing to live up to their vision of who I’m supposed to be. “Be nice,” my mother would often say…as she was being unkind herself.
Others offered different versions of the same message: shrink yourself, soften your edges, stay inside the lines we’ve drawn for you.
Maybe they meant well. Maybe not. But their boxes always felt too small, too rigid, too airless. And so, I’ve chosen to walk away from those kinds of toxic relationships.
The truth is, I can only ever be me. All of me. The loud parts and the quiet parts.
It’s taken me a long time to stop apologizing for not fitting in.
These days, I don’t force myself into spaces or conversations that were never meant for me. And I sure as hell don’t contort myself to earn someone else’s approval at the expense of my own self-respect. Fuck all that noise.
Finding your people—your tribe—often means standing out first. It means wearing whatever the fuck you want, saying your peace, and risking the raised eyebrows of those clutch-the-pearls types.
It also means walking away from people and places where you’re tolerated but not celebrated.
The upside? When you finally stop contorting yourself, you create space for the right people to find you—the ones who aren’t threatened by your height, your size, your voice, or your dreams. People who want you to take up more space, not less of it.
I’m still learning. Still stretching. Still standing taller. But the older I get, the more I realize we’ve all been sold a lie: One size does NOT fit all. And the more I embrace that truth, the freer I am to be me, myself, and I.
Thank you for being a friend!
Clint 🌈✌️
COLLIDE PRESS is a reader-supported publication.
Please consider becoming a Paid Subscriber or Patron.
FYC = FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
ON THIS DAY = SEPTEMBER 25
BIRTHDAYS
1897 = William Faulkner = American writer and Nobel Prize laureate
1901 = Robert Bresson = French filmmaker
1903 = Mark Rothko = Latvian-American painter and educator
1926 = Aldo Ray = American actor
1929 = Barbara Walters = American journalist, producer, and author
1929 = Ronnie Barker = English actor and screenwriter
1930 = Shel Silverstein = American author, poet, illustrator, and songwriter
1932 = Glenn Gould = Canadian pianist and composer
1944 = Michael Douglas = American actor and producer
1947 = Cheryl Tiegs = American model and actor
1949 = Anson Williams = American actor, singer, and director
1949 = Pedro Almodóvar = Spanish filmmaker 🌈
1951 = Mark Hamill = American actor, singer, and producer
1952 = bell hooks = American author and activist 🌈
1952 = Christopher Reeve, American actor, producer, and activist
1955 = Roni Horn = American artist 🌈
1956 = Jamie Hyneman = American special effects designer and tv host
1957 = Michael Madsen = American actor and producer
1961 = Heather Locklear = American actor
1963 = Tate Donovan = American actor
1966 = Jason Flemyng = English actor
1969 = Catherine Zeta-Jones = Welsh actor
1969 = Hal Sparks = American actor, comedian, musician, and commentator
1975 = Declan Donnelly = English entertainer
1977 = Clea Duvall = American actor and filmmaker 🌈
1980 = Chris Owen = American actor
1983 = Donald Glover = American actor, rapper, producer, and screenwriter
EVENTS
1690 = Publick Occurrences Both Forreign and Domestick, the first newspaper to appear in the Americas, is published for the first and only time.
1789 = The First US Congress passes twelve constitutional amendments: the ten known as the Bill of Rights, the (unratified) Congressional Apportionment Amendment, and the Congressional Compensation Amendment.
1981 = Sandra Day O’Connor is sworn in as the first female Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States.
1982 = Silver Spoons premieres on NBC.
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
National Hispanic Heritage Month (September 15-October 15)
PORTRAIT + QUOTES OF THE DAY
“I ask myself questions that journalists don’t dare to ask or don’t know how to ask.”
Pedro Almodovar
“You can make a thousand different movies about the same subject.”
Pedro Almodovar
I'm with you 💯 % Clint. Spent too long trying to shoehorn myself into others expectations. No more, I am who I am not what others want me to be.
By the way I love seeing Ronnie Barker in you list, comedy genius this side of the pond. I also never knew there was such an age gap between Catherine and Michael 😉 xx
Hear hear! Now I just need to stop being my worst critic. Some of the things I say to myself in my head, I would never say to another person. Little by little...
David