Last night, I had the pleasure of attending Eric Williams’ one-night-only, one-man solo show, Why All The Drama. I laughed. I cried. And I remembered how long it took me to come out and love my big, bald, gay ass self.
Eric talked about the bullies he faced growing up. Listening to his stories got me to thinking about some of the bullies I’ve known too.
The difference between our stories is that I usually ended up bullying the bullies back.
Those dumb enough to throw the first punch learned “fuck around and find out” the hard way. So let’s just say I have very little patience for bullies. Or bully pulpits. Both suck. And both tend to flourish when nobody pushes back.
Growing up as the biggest, gayest, and nerdiest boy in school meant I had more than my fair share of run-ins with bullies. It started in elementary school. New kids seemed to think knocking the gentle giant down would boost their social standing.
It was so predictable. And a few of those basic bully bitches left school in stitches. Sorry, not sorry. I wasn’t looking for trouble. But if anyone started something, I was going to finish it. Lord Of The Flies be damned.
Over time, the lessons I learned became about more than playground scuffles. I got to see up close and personal how bullies operate. And what causes them to malfunction.
Most bullies aren’t nearly as tough as they pretend to be. Their power comes from insecurity and intimidation. From creating just enough fear or embarrassment that their target stays quiet and everyone else looks the other way.
That silence is their oxygen. Take it away and they’re left gasping for air. Oh. Well.
You see the same pattern far beyond schoolyards. Bullies show up everywhere. In families. Among friends. At work. Online. Some bullies never grow out of the phase. For them, high school is frozen in time and they’re still trying to win the same stupid popularity contests.
And what do aging bullies love most? Bully pulpits.
Give a bully a microphone, a platform, or an audience, and they’ll gladly climb on top of it. Because they crave attention. Because they love hearing themselves talk.
In the right hands, bully pulpits can inspire or shine a light on injustice.
In the wrong hands, bully pulpits become a megaphone for cruelty. A space where fear and loathing live, where intimidation and misinformation are amplified.
And just like the playground version, bully pulpits only last if people stay quiet.
Sometimes, the best response is defense. Protect yourself. Protect the people around you. Set boundaries and refuse to ignore the nonsense.
Other times, the moment calls for offense. Call the bully out. Challenge the story they’re telling. Use whatever power you have to push back against their garbage.
It doesn’t always mean throwing punches. In fact, these days it rarely does. But it does mean refusing to surrender the field to asshats.
What Eric’s show reminded me last night is that a lot of us share some version of the same story. At some point in our lives, we were the kids who stood out. We were the ones different enough to attract attention we didn’t ask for and become a target.
For most of us, we were also carrying a secret: our same-sex attraction. Trying to figure out who we were while hoping the wrong person wouldn’t figure it out first.
Somewhere along the way, we had to decide what to do about it:
Some people learned to hide.
Some people learned to endure.
And some of us learned to push back.
Not because we wanted to be fighters. But because we got tired of being targets.
That lesson has stuck with me long after the playground.
Bullies count on fear and silence.
They don’t count on people challenging them.
The moment someone does, their spell starts to break. And sometimes all it takes to topple a bully is one or more people deciding they’re not afraid anymore.
Keep calm and fear not!
Clint 🌈✌️
P.S. The only type of bullies I like are pitbulls. Like me, their bark is worse than their bite. Most of the time anyway. 😎🐶
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Well thought out writing from you. Now not to bring politics into it BUT you have the biggest bully in power just now. I'll say no more. Cheers DougT 🏴🇬🇧
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