Reclaiming My Energy + Time
On Assumptions + Boundaries
Personally and professionally, I’ve had a few too many people lately—acquaintances and strangers alike—cross the line with me. And not just poke a pinky toe across the line, but barrel through as if no line existed in the first place.
It’s made me reflect on assumptions and boundaries.
And remember an old saying: “When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.”
Some folks still laugh at that, but in my experience, the saying is truer now than ever before. I don’t know about you, but I don’t need help making an ass of myself. Thanks. I gave at the office.
Folks who assume things tend to be delusional, disrespectful, and/or entitled. They seem to think everyone else is just standing around, waiting to help them do whatever the fuck they’re doing. Regardless of whatever the fuck we already have on our plates.
Yeah, I’m beyond sick and tired of this shit.
So let’s drop the assumptions. Or get dropped like a hot potato.
Over the years, I’ve learned the hard way that being a “nice guy”—friendly, generous, and helpful—often gets misread as “Use me. Abuse me.”
Here’s the thing: I’m nice. Until I’m not.
I love helping people. Some people.
Until I can’t….or don’t want to anymore.
Because while I offer support freely, my energy and patience aren’t infinite. My time isn’t anyone else’s to plan or waste. And my creativity doesn’t exist to meet someone else’s demands or expectations.
I try to be clear about where my boundaries are. I try to communicate. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But some people just don’t fucking care or listen.
And when people don’t heed my warnings?
I don’t usually yell. I don’t usually fight.
I usually just disappear. Quietly. Cleanly.
Because I don’t deal with rude and/or stupid people.
Yes, I said it. And I mean it.
I’m at a point in my life where I refuse to excuse bad behavior just because someone’s “having a moment.” For the record, we’re all having moments. Life is hard. The world’s weird. Everyone’s juggling…a lot.
Personally, I wouldn’t risk someone else’s peace of mind in the name of an alleged “collaboration” no one asked for or agreed to. That kind of move rarely ends well.
Just so we’re clear: Someone else’s emergency is not my emergency. I’ve got more than enough to take care of—ongoing business and health concerns and an upcoming move—without taking on other people’s priorities and problems.
While I’m “down” with other people’s “parts,” other people’s priorities and problems are the main reasons I quit and walked away from corporate America.
As much as I disliked working in the corporate world, when they “passed the buck,” there were usually actual bucks being passed to “make up” for all the emergencies, false alarms, and fire drills.
Can’t say the same for most so-called “collaborations” in this “creator economy.” Which might explain why I prefer working “homo alono.”
“Mama said ‘Unless they gonna pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind.’”
RuPaul
Reclaiming my energy and time isn’t about being petty. It’s about being protective—of my focus, my sanity, and my work.
Those who can’t/don’t respect my energy and time simply don’t get access to them.
No one is entitled to another person’s attention, creativity, or kindness. These are gifts. And gifts are given to be appreciated—not demanded and/or expected.
So if you ever find yourself wondering why someone “so nice” suddenly drops off the face of the earth or goes quiet, maybe ask yourself:
“Did I listen when they told me where their line was?”
“Did I assume they’d keep letting my assumptions slide?”
Instead of assuming, maybe try asking.
Because boundaries aren’t threats.
They’re invitations to engage…with respect.
Let’s all check ourselves. Before we wreck ourselves.
Keep calm and carry on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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ON THIS DAY = JUNE 3
BIRTHDAYS
1852 = Theodore Robinson = American painter and academic
1877 = Raoul Dufy = French painter and illustrator
1879 = Alla Nazimova = Russian-American actor and filmmaker 🌈
1881 = Mikhail Larionov = Russian painter and set designer
1897 = Memphis Minnie = American singer-songwriter
1902 = George Quaintance = American artist and illustrator 🌈
1904 = Jan Peerce = American tenor and actor
1906 = Josephine Baker = American-born French dancer, singer, and actor 🌈
1910 = Paulette Goddard = American actor and model
1911 = Ellen Corby = American actor and screenwriter 🌈
1922 = Alain Resnais = French filmmaker
1924 = Colleen Dewhurst = Canadian-American actor
1925 = Tony Curtis = American actor 🌈
1926 = Allen Ginsberg = American poet and photographer 🌈
1929 = Chuck Barris = American game show host and producer
1936 = Larry McMurtry = American novelist and screenwriter
1942 = Curtis Mayfield = American singer-songwriter and producer
1951 = Deniece Williams = American singer-songwriter
1956 = Danny Wilde = American singer-songwriter
1964 = James Purefoy = English actor
1967 = Anderson Cooper = American journalist and author 🌈
EVENTS
1948 = Sexual Behavior In The Human Male, the first of the Kinsey Reports, is published, shocking the nation with its revelation of the high incidence of same-sex acts among American men.
2001 = Six Feet Under premieres on HBO.
2018 = Pose premieres on FX.
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
PORTRAIT + QUOTE + VIDEO OF THE DAY
“The weight of the world is love.
Under the burden of solitude,
under the burden of dissatisfaction
the weight, the weight we carry is love. ”
Allen Ginsberg
https://youtu.be/ZjVQOjBPJ_o?si=xyereeNq9j_1gTvQ
And a bit of Cissie and Ada to round off the day. Cheers DougT
👥 👥 My Fomo and Jomo is blowing on all V8 cylinder's here but basically I don't give a flying toss about others. It can come across as arrogant, but screw it I know what I'm doing 😝 Cheers DougT 🇫🇴🇬🇧