

Personally and professionally, Iāve had a few too many people latelyāacquaintances and strangers alikeācross the line with me. And not just poke a pinky toe across the line, but barrel through as if no line existed in the first place.
Itās made me reflect on assumptions and boundaries.
And remember an old saying: āWhen you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.ā
Some folks still laugh at that, but in my experience, the saying is truer now than ever before. I donāt know about you, but I donāt need help making an ass of myself. Thanks. I gave at the office.
Folks who assume things tend to be delusional, disrespectful, and/or entitled. They seem to think everyone else is just standing around, waiting to help them do whatever the fuck theyāre doing. Regardless of whatever the fuck we already have on our plates.
Yeah, Iām beyond sick and tired of this shit.
So letās drop the assumptions. Or get dropped like a hot potato.
Over the years, Iāve learned the hard way that being a ānice guyāāfriendly, generous, and helpfulāoften gets misread as āUse me. Abuse me.ā
Hereās the thing: Iām nice. Until Iām not.
I love helping people. Some people.
Until I canātā¦.or donāt want to anymore.
Because while I offer support freely, my energy and patience arenāt infinite. My time isnāt anyone elseās to plan or waste. And my creativity doesnāt exist to meet someone elseās demands or expectations.
I try to be clear about where my boundaries are. I try to communicate. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But some people just donāt fucking care or listen.
And when people donāt heed my warnings?
I donāt usually yell. I donāt usually fight.
I usually just disappear. Quietly. Cleanly.
Because I donāt deal with rude and/or stupid people.
Yes, I said it. And I mean it.
Iām at a point in my life where I refuse to excuse bad behavior just because someoneās āhaving a moment.ā For the record, weāre all having moments. Life is hard. The worldās weird. Everyoneās jugglingā¦a lot.
Personally, I wouldnāt risk someone elseās peace of mind in the name of an alleged ācollaborationā no one asked for or agreed to. That kind of move rarely ends well.
Just so weāre clear: Someone elseās emergency is not my emergency. Iāve got more than enough to take care ofāongoing business and health concerns and an upcoming moveāwithout taking on other peopleās priorities and problems.
While Iām ādownā with other peopleās āparts,ā other peopleās priorities and problems are the main reasons I quit and walked away from corporate America.
As much as I disliked working in the corporate world, when they āpassed the buck,ā there were usually actual bucks being passed to āmake upā for all the emergencies, false alarms, and fire drills.
Canāt say the same for most so-called ācollaborationsā in this ācreator economy.ā Which might explain why I prefer working āhomo alono.ā
āMama said āUnless they gonna pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind.āā
RuPaul
Reclaiming my energy and time isnāt about being petty. Itās about being protectiveāof my focus, my sanity, and my work.
Those who canāt/donāt respect my energy and time simply donāt get access to them.
No one is entitled to another personās attention, creativity, or kindness. These are gifts. And gifts are given to be appreciatedānot demanded and/or expected.
So if you ever find yourself wondering why someone āso niceā suddenly drops off the face of the earth or goes quiet, maybe ask yourself:
āDid I listen when they told me where their line was?ā
āDid I assume theyād keep letting my assumptions slide?ā
Instead of assuming, maybe try asking.
Because boundaries arenāt threats.
Theyāre invitations to engageā¦with respect.
Letās all check ourselves. Before we wreck ourselves.
Keep calm and carry on!
Clint šāļø
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FYC = LGBTQ STORIES + SUBSTACKS
ON THIS DAY = JUNE 3
BIRTHDAYS
1852 = Theodore Robinson = American painter and academic
1877 = Raoul Dufy = French painter and illustrator
1879 = Alla Nazimova = Russian-American actor and filmmaker š
1881 = Mikhail Larionov = Russian painter and set designer
1897 = Memphis Minnie = American singer-songwriter
1902 = George Quaintance = American artist and illustrator š
1904 = Jan Peerce = American tenor and actor
1906 = Josephine Baker = American-born French dancer, singer, and actor š
1910 = Paulette Goddard = American actor and model
1911 = Ellen Corby = American actor and screenwriter š
1922 = Alain Resnais = French filmmaker
1924 = Colleen Dewhurst = Canadian-American actor
1925 = Tony Curtis = American actor š
1926 = Allen Ginsberg = American poet and photographer š
1929 = Chuck Barris = American game show host and producer
1936 = Larry McMurtry = American novelist and screenwriter
1942 = Curtis Mayfield = American singer-songwriter and producer
1951 = Deniece Williams = American singer-songwriter
1956 = Danny Wilde = American singer-songwriter
1964 = James Purefoy = English actor
1967 = Anderson Cooper = American journalist and author š
EVENTS
1948 = Sexual Behavior In The Human Male, the first of the Kinsey Reports, is published, shocking the nation with its revelation of the high incidence of same-sex acts among American men.
2001 = Six Feet Under premieres on HBO.
2018 = Pose premieres on FX.
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
PORTRAIT + QUOTE + VIDEO OF THE DAY
āThe weight of the world is love.
Under the burden of solitude,
under the burden of dissatisfaction
the weight, the weight we carry is love. ā
Allen Ginsberg
https://youtu.be/ZjVQOjBPJ_o?si=xyereeNq9j_1gTvQ
And a bit of Cissie and Ada to round off the day. Cheers DougT
š„ š„ My Fomo and Jomo is blowing on all V8 cylinder's here but basically I don't give a flying toss about others. It can come across as arrogant, but screw it I know what I'm doing š Cheers DougT š«š“š¬š§