“Life is about learning; when you stop learning, you die.”
Tom Clancy
“Some people will never learn anything, for this reason,
because they understand everything too soon.”
Alexander Pope
“Try to learn something about everything
and everything about something.”
Thomas Huxley
“I grow old learning something new every day.”
Solon
One of the unexpected perks of getting older is discovering just how spectacularly wrong I’ve been about...a lot of things.
When I was younger, I thought I had life figured out.
Bless my little sissy, Southern fried heart.
Back then, I had opinions about everything. Politics. Religion. Relationships. Music. Art. Which restaurant made the best burger. You name it, I had an answer.
Now? Half the time I’m just trying to remember where I left my keys. The other half, I’m discovering that the answers I was absolutely certain about twenty years ago were, in fact, complete and total bullshit.
Honestly, I think that’s progress.
Life has a funny way of humbling us. It introduces us to people we were taught to fear, then has the audacity to let us discover they're delightful. It hands us books that challenge everything we thought we knew. It sends us to museums, concerts, neighborhoods, and countries that stretch our minds. And, if we’re paying attention, it gives us conversations that quietly expand our hearts.
That’s become one of my favorite parts of growing older. I no longer need to be the smartest person in the room.
I’d much rather be the most curious. Teach me something. Show me a better way. Recommend a documentary. Tell me why my favorite artist was actually inspired by someone I’ve never heard of.
I live for that stuff.
Which is why I’ve never understood people who seem oddly proud of not learning.
“I don’t read.”
“I don’t care.”
“That’s just how I am.”
As if intellectual stagnation deserves a medal or trophy.
Whenever I meet folks who are proud of their limited understanding of the world and its people, I instinctively start looking for the nearest exit sign. Because the only thing I’m likely to learn from them is a cautionary tale.
How not to age.
How not to grow.
How not to confuse ignorance with conviction.
One of the things that genuinely breaks my heart is meeting LGBTQ folks who have stopped learning about...other LGBTQ people. Especially elder gays who wear their transphobia like it’s some kind of badge of honor.
Really? After everything our generations have lived through? After being told our love wasn’t real? That our identities were a phase? That we were mentally ill? That we were destroying civilization one disco song at a time?
How do you survive all of that only to turn around and say to someone else, “Yeah, but your identity is the problem”?
I honestly don’t get it. Hopefully, I never will.
Getting older is mandatory. Growing wiser is optional.
Gray hair doesn’t automatically come bundled with empathy.
The older I get, the more magical three little words become: “I don’t know.”
They’re not a sign of weakness. They’re an invitation. An invitation to listen instead of lecture. To ask questions instead of making assumptions. To admit we might have missed something. To become someone we couldn’t have imagined ten years ago.
I’m fifty-four now, and I hope I never outgrow my curiosity.
I hope science keeps proving me wrong.
I hope artists keep stretching my imagination.
I hope people of all ages keep teaching me new words.
I hope my friends keep lovingly calling me out on my bullshit.
I don’t know everything, but I always want to be learning something.
Maybe the real fountain of youth isn’t Botox, Ozempic, collagen powder, red light therapy, kale smoothies, cold plunges, or whatever wellness trend TikTok is obsessed with this week.
Maybe the real fountain of youth is curiosity and the willingness to admit, “I never thought of it that way.”
Maybe old dogs really can learn new tricks. In fact, happiest old dogs I’ve known have never, ever stopped growing and learning.
So if I ever become one of those grumpy old men who’s convinced he’s got the entire world figured out, do me a favor? Hand me a book. Take me to a museum. Introduce me to someone whose life looks nothing like mine. Challenge one of my assumptions. Help me become just a little less certain and a little more curious.
Because I want to keep living, I’m determined to keep learning. Hope you do too, boo.
Keep calm and remain open to life, love, and the pursuit of happiness!
Clint 🌈✌️
P.S. In an effort to put my money where my mouth is, I’m exploring the possibility of going back to graduate school next fall. Turns out this old dog may still have a few new tricks left to learn. Stay tuned. More details when I have them….
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
NSFW MONTAGES = On Substack
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BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
08-05 = Christopher Makos (1948- ) = American photographer 🌈
08-05 = George Tooker (1920-2011) = American painter 🌈
08-05 = Heward Grafftey (1928-2008) = Canadian politician and businessman 🌈
08-05 = Pete Burns (1959-2016) = English singer-songwriter 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“Painting is an attempt to come to terms with life. There are as many solutions as there are human beings.”
George Tooker
For Clint: I will be cheering you on through your experiences and learning opportunities — whether formal or informal. I recently applied to grad school and was denied admission. It doesn’t mean I won’t apply again (or elsewhere), but it has been an opportunity for me to practice humility and patience.
For the General Comment Section:
Unfortunately, in a world where information is easily accessible through A.I. and other mediums — people are getting lazy. Many have lost the desire to learn, grow, and understand through their own experiences.
Education is the difference between wanting to move the story forward, and being able to. That doesn’t just mean formal education, but it can also include informal learning opportunities.
For example:
A couple who has been married for 30+ years was asked, “What’s your best relationship advice?”
Their reply:
“Marry someone who has the attitude that everything is workout-able. If there’s a red flag, if there’s tension, or something that makes you uncomfortable — those are things to note, but not necessarily run away from. That’s an opportunity to press in and explore what happens. Instead of making assumptions, instead of running — ask questions… because it may or may not be what you think it is… sometimes it’s hard, but it’s totally worth it.”
In order for a relationship to progress, both people must be willing to submit — not to each other, but to the truth.
I like those three words almost too much: "I don't know." Wishing all those scientists who perseverate (look it up) answers where none exist had the courage to say them. The trans people I am acquainted with have very (!) complicated life situations. I have no idea what could make their lives better, except that I believe prejudice causes harm everywhere. Less of it could only be good.