I had a very similar relationship with my mother, Clint - hadn't spoken to her for a couple years when she died (mainly due to the malicious intervention of a family member, and then dementia), had many good moments, but also a lot of heartache over our competing stubbornness. It's a sweet birthday tribute. 🩵
Thank you, MTF. Sorry you had a similarly friction-filled relationship with your mama mia too. The silver lining of her passing (and maybe you mother’s too) is I don’t have to fuck with the meddlesome extended family anymore. They don’t like me and I don’t like them, so why pretend? Honesty is so much easier. :-)
There were many oddities in my relationship with my parents, but in the end, I knew they loved and adored me. Thank you for sharing this and helping us all to think about our own parents.
It’s funny you should ask, Bob. When I would go to work with my mom, all her coworkers would say, “You look just like your mama!” And when I would go to work with my dad, all his coworkers would say, “You look just like your daddy!” Both were correct. I’m an almost exact overlay of those two weirdos. :-p
I’m glad you felt loved and adored. Despite our differences, my dad was good at delivering on those. Mom struggled, but I suspected it was less me and more how much alike we were. Cheers!
Condolences Clint we are all swimming in the dharma River until we're not anymore. A friend wants to do a portrait of me I told her I would have to be laying down like Proust.
Dharma River Cruises…a healing journey through hell and back. As for your portrait, tell him in your best Kate Winslet impersonation, "I want you to draw me like one of your French girls." :-p
What a beautiful tribute to your mother - despite the differences between you both - I wish that the differences between myself and my mother could have ended in such a way - may your mother rest in peace.
Brian 🫂🫂💐 to you both. My parents went when I was still in my early 20's so I never got to know them in adult years time. Guess that's whyI got my Ivory Tower thinking from. Cheers DougT 🏴🇬🇧
In a sense, you have written our story for us, mine and yours. My mother was a redoubtable Southern lady (emphasis on lady). Our relationship was full of complicated and in my case unspoken elements. I resented her heartily for much of my young adulthood, but we also had a lot of shared moments that I miss. She, too, did the best she could. Not the best, but the best she could. I was present at her passing, a transformative moment if ever there was one. You never forget, but gradually you forgive what you can. I'm glad your mother gave you so much that made you who you are, and as spicy as you are. Thanks for sharing this.
Me spicy? Why I never…miss an opportunity to be a lil sassy. My mom was, under her clutch-the-pearls, nice girl facade, a sassy bitch. I think she resented I saw through her masks. And that I felt free to be who she never felt comfortable being. Oh well. Maybe we’ll meet again one day and try it again. For now, I’m at as much peace I think I’ll ever be with her and our relationship. I’m glad to know I’m not the only with a “Southern lady” for a mother. Bless their hearts. Ours too. Cheers!
Clint, Happy Birthday to your mom. Yes, parents are just people. I wonder why that is so hard for most of us to understand until much later in life. Was you dad in the picture while you were growing up? I too now am happy to acknowledge the my mom and my dad did the best they could. Fondly, Michael
Thanks, Michael. My dad was indeed in the picture. He and Mom were happily married until he passed unexpectedly in 1989. His death didn’t help me and my mom’s already rocky relationship. But we tried. Glad you’ve come to a similar place with your parents. They obviously helped bring a wonderful, loving man into the world. Cheers!
I had a very similar relationship with my mother, Clint - hadn't spoken to her for a couple years when she died (mainly due to the malicious intervention of a family member, and then dementia), had many good moments, but also a lot of heartache over our competing stubbornness. It's a sweet birthday tribute. 🩵
Thank you, MTF. Sorry you had a similarly friction-filled relationship with your mama mia too. The silver lining of her passing (and maybe you mother’s too) is I don’t have to fuck with the meddlesome extended family anymore. They don’t like me and I don’t like them, so why pretend? Honesty is so much easier. :-)
Has anybody told you that you look just like her?
There were many oddities in my relationship with my parents, but in the end, I knew they loved and adored me. Thank you for sharing this and helping us all to think about our own parents.
It’s funny you should ask, Bob. When I would go to work with my mom, all her coworkers would say, “You look just like your mama!” And when I would go to work with my dad, all his coworkers would say, “You look just like your daddy!” Both were correct. I’m an almost exact overlay of those two weirdos. :-p
I’m glad you felt loved and adored. Despite our differences, my dad was good at delivering on those. Mom struggled, but I suspected it was less me and more how much alike we were. Cheers!
☺️
Condolences Clint we are all swimming in the dharma River until we're not anymore. A friend wants to do a portrait of me I told her I would have to be laying down like Proust.
Dharma River Cruises…a healing journey through hell and back. As for your portrait, tell him in your best Kate Winslet impersonation, "I want you to draw me like one of your French girls." :-p
Well, French boys maybe, but thanks for the suggestion. Sophia will have a good laugh.
Give Sophia my best. She has good taste in subjects. Cheers!
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Thank for reading and commenting, kind sir!
You’re welcome. I’m soaking it in and reflecting on the relationship I have with my own parents. Your honesty in this article is humbling and helpful.
Much love and light on your reflection, dear. 🫂😘
What a beautiful tribute to your mother - despite the differences between you both - I wish that the differences between myself and my mother could have ended in such a way - may your mother rest in peace.
Thank you, Stephen. I appreciate you, boo! May you find some peace within your heart about your own mom, kind sir. Cheers…. 🌈✌️
Brian 🫂🫂💐 to you both. My parents went when I was still in my early 20's so I never got to know them in adult years time. Guess that's whyI got my Ivory Tower thinking from. Cheers DougT 🏴🇬🇧
I can relate, Doug. I lost my dad when I was 16. Sending hugs back to you! Cheers too…
💐
In a sense, you have written our story for us, mine and yours. My mother was a redoubtable Southern lady (emphasis on lady). Our relationship was full of complicated and in my case unspoken elements. I resented her heartily for much of my young adulthood, but we also had a lot of shared moments that I miss. She, too, did the best she could. Not the best, but the best she could. I was present at her passing, a transformative moment if ever there was one. You never forget, but gradually you forgive what you can. I'm glad your mother gave you so much that made you who you are, and as spicy as you are. Thanks for sharing this.
Me spicy? Why I never…miss an opportunity to be a lil sassy. My mom was, under her clutch-the-pearls, nice girl facade, a sassy bitch. I think she resented I saw through her masks. And that I felt free to be who she never felt comfortable being. Oh well. Maybe we’ll meet again one day and try it again. For now, I’m at as much peace I think I’ll ever be with her and our relationship. I’m glad to know I’m not the only with a “Southern lady” for a mother. Bless their hearts. Ours too. Cheers!
Clint, Happy Birthday to your mom. Yes, parents are just people. I wonder why that is so hard for most of us to understand until much later in life. Was you dad in the picture while you were growing up? I too now am happy to acknowledge the my mom and my dad did the best they could. Fondly, Michael
Thanks, Michael. My dad was indeed in the picture. He and Mom were happily married until he passed unexpectedly in 1989. His death didn’t help me and my mom’s already rocky relationship. But we tried. Glad you’ve come to a similar place with your parents. They obviously helped bring a wonderful, loving man into the world. Cheers!