Life Is Wild + Wild Is Life
Getting Nutty With Wildlife
Last night, on my drive home, I nearly hit a goose, a coyote, and a skunk.
No, not all at once—that would’ve been apocalyptic. But over the course of about 20 minutes, the three close calls reminded me that I don’t exactly love driving after dark.
The goose froze in the middle of oncoming traffic, a textbook deer-in-the-headlights move. The coyote scurried across an eight-lane road, shooting me a look of pure disdain. And the skunk? I gave that one a wide berth. I’d rather be late than smell like Pepé Le Pew all weekend.
I was coming back from a friend’s house, where I’d just watched my first baseball game in years. Yes, watched. Willingly. In case it’s not obvious: I’m not a sports person. But some of my nearest and dearest are, so occasionally I play along.
Honestly, if it weren’t for the fine physiques in form-fitting uniforms, I’d rather have a V8—and I hate tomato juice.
To me, baseball feels like a slow, patriotic nap disguised as a sport. So much spitting. So much standing around. So many grown men in tight pants grabbing, hitting, and throwing balls while fans scream like winning is a matter of life and death. Frankly, my dears and queers, I just don’t get it...or give a damn. No matter how much I try.
But enough about America’s “favorite” pastime and back to the animals.
This morning, as if the universe wanted to double down on the wildlife theme, I woke up to what I thought was someone trying to break into my house. Only to discover it was just...a squirrel orgy on my front porch. I chased at least half a dozen away with the help of a broom. Loud little fuckers…
But then I remembered: we’re all just animals, squirrel friends trying to get our nut(s).
“You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel…”
”The Bad Touch” by Bloodhound Gang
Written by Jimmy Pop
First and foremost, we are animals. Feral creatures driven by blood, hormones, and instinct. No matter how much we dress it up with jobs, hobbies, or brunch plans, beneath it all—we’re all basically the same. The only real difference between me and the squirrels is that I have rent to pay and have a fondness for bearded bearish guys.
I don’t love wild animals playing in traffic. Or fucking so loud they wake me up. But wildlife doesn’t care about our preferences.
Life is wild. And wild is life.
It’s messy, loud, and primal.
So the next time you’re annoyed by the chaos of the “real” world—a baseball game that drags on, near-collisions with wildlife, or squirrel sex at 4am—try to remember: we’re not up above it. We’re down in it.
Keep calm and carry on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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NEW + FEATURED
ON THIS DAY = MAY 31
BIRTHDAYS
1819 = Walt Whitman = American poet, essayist and journalist 🌈
1894 = Fred Allen = American comedian, radio host, and game show panelist
1898 = Norman Vincent Peale = American minister and author
1908 = Don Ameche = American actor
1921 = Andrew Grima = Anglo-Italian jewellery designer
1922 = Denholm Elliott = English-Spanish actor 🌈
1923 = Ellsworth Kelly = American painter and sculptor 🌈
1923 = Rainier III = Prince of Monaco
1930 = Clint Eastwood = American actor and filmmaker
1938 = Johnny Paycheck = American singer-songwriter
1938 = Peter Yarrow = American singer-songwriter
1943 = Joe Namath = American football player, sportscaster, and actor
1943 = Sharon Gless = American actor
1945 = Rainer Werner Fassbinder = German filmmaker 🌈
1948 = John Bonham = English musician and songwriter
1949 = Tom Berenger = American actor, producer, and writer
1950 = Gregory Harrison = American actor
1950 = Jean Chalopin = French filmmaker and DIC Entertainment founder
1954 = Lissy Gröner = German politician 🌈
1954 = Vicki Sue Robinson = American actor and singer
1955 = Susie Essman = American actor, comedian, and screenwriter
1960 = Chris Elliott = American actor, comedian, and screenwriter
1961 = Lea Thompson = American actor, director, and producer
1962 = Corey Hart = Canadian singer-songwriter
1964 = Darryl "D.M.C." McDaniels = American rapper and producer
1965 = Brooke Shields = American model, actor, and producer
1976 = Colin Farrell = Irish actor
1977 = Eric Christian Olsen = American actor, writer, and producer
EVENTS
1790 = The US enacts its first copyright statute, the Copyright Act of 1790.
1859 = The clock tower at the Houses of Parliament, which houses Big Ben, starts keeping time.
1879 = Gilmore's Garden in New York City is renamed Madison Square Garden by William Henry Vanderbilt and is opened to the public.
1909 = The National Negro Committee, forerunner to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), convenes for the first time.
1911 = The RMS Titanic is launched in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
1921 = The Tulsa race massacre kills at least 39, but other estimates of black fatalities vary from 55 to about 300.
2005 = Vanity Fair reveals that Mark Felt was "Deep Throat.”
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
PORTRAIT + QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Resist much, obey little.”
Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
“Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem,
I whisper with my lips close to your ear,
I have loved many women and men, but I love none better than you.
Walt Whitman, “To You”
Clint, I'm in a very green leafy part of the city and I get squirrels (the 🇺🇸 gray variety) dashing everywhere several generations are now at home in the tree Scape around my development. A near neighbours kitty has had her first litter of babies (NO I am not adopting one) the kitty mother comes and sits on my patio frame and glowers at me but she gets no luck from me 😎 Last couple years there has been wild foxes making a home in the undergrowth of the development, I have spotted a couple of this years Fox cubs already. I am surrounded by trees/shrubbery the bird population is ever expanding and we occasionally get Ring Necked Parakeets refuelling on the shrub berries. There was a dead rat near the shrubbery but I left it as I knew the 🦊would dispose of it, which it has 😲 My development is on the land of 2 demolished Victorian Villas from around 1870's and a lot of the majestic trees are from the time the Villas were built. As they make up a barrier to the main roadway they are carefully monitored by arborist for their tree health. The downside is they are deciduous 🌳 and Autumn leaf drop is horrendous 😲 Enough now I will be boring the pants off everyone. Cheers DougT 🇫🇴 🇬🇧
Love Walt Whitman . I think of how fearless he was to live out loud at a time when it was against the law to be who you really were. I can remember when I was learning what it meant to be a homosexual. It was still against the law to be gay, I think it was taken off the law books in the 1970s,we must not become numb to the freedoms we enjoy today, but be willing to defend the rights that others have afforded us. God bless you. Thanks for the work you do.