If I Could Turn Back Time...

Newsletter + On This Day

Sep 28, 2024

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Vintage photos aren’t the only things vintage I love. I also love vintage music.

Lately, I’ve been revisiting the soundtrack of my youth. The 70s, 80s, and early 90s live on in my mind, thanks to some timeless classics.

If I Could Turn Back Time—performed by Cher and penned by hitmaker Diane Warren—stands out as one of my favorites. Ironically, I didn’t like it much when it first came out. As a teenager, I couldn’t grasp why a 50-something woman perform—in a thong—for a battleship full of sailors. Now, as a 50-something gay man, I totally get it.

(For the record, Cher was in her early 40s when the song dropped in 1989.)

Long story short, the song now makes me think about the things I might have done differently, had I known then what I know now.

IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME…

I WOULD’VE WRITTEN MORE CONSISTENTLY.
I WOULD’VE TRIED HARDER TO GET TO KNOW MY PARENTS.
I WOULD’VE SPENT MORE ON MENTAL HEALTH THAN SELF-HELP.
I WOULD’VE HAVE CHANGED THE CHANNEL ON ALL “REALITY” TV.
I WOULD’VE STOPPED USING SOCIAL MEDIA WHEN I LEFT LIVEJOURNAL.

“MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR REGRETS; NEVER SMOTHER YOUR SORROW, BUT TEND AND CHERISH IT TILL IT COMES TO HAVE A SEPARATE AND INTEGRAL INTEREST. TO REGRET DEEPLY IS TO LIVE AFRESH.”
HENRY DAVID THOREAU

There are a few personal and professional relationships I would’ve worked harder on too, but in the end, I do my best not to have regrets. Everything I did shaped the man I’ve become. For better and/or worse.

While I’m very much human, a couple of things on my list aren’t: “Reality” TV and “Social” Media. Both are in quotes for a reason—they're neither reality nor social.

“REALITY” TV WAS NEVER REALITY

Once upon a time, I thought “reality” tv was just a guilty pleasure. No harm, no foul. But “reality” TV has warped our collective view of what “real” life is.

Having worked (briefly) on a couple of “reality” shows years ago, I saw firsthand how dangerous they could be.

It’s not just that the shows were and are far from reality. They set unhealthy standards for success, beauty, and conflict. Everything always has to be bigger, louder, and more outrageous.

If you stare into a funhouse mirror long enough, you’ll start to believe the distorted realities and ridiculous standards reflected back at you.

If I could turn back time, I would’ve changed the channel and focused more on my own reality instead.

“SOCIAL” MEDIA WAS NEVER SOCIAL

Circa 2001-2005, I used LiveJournal to blog. While not exactly “social media” by today’s standards, like a lot of gay men of a certain age, I became more social—both online and in real life—thanks to the blogging platform. Those were good times.

I’m not sure exactly what changed, but I stopped blogging and left LiveJournal.

Over the years, I tried OG social platforms Friendster and MySpace and eventually joined Facebook. With each new platform, I saw “social” media becoming less about connecting with friends and more about chasing likes, followers, and algorithms.

Social media became less about community and more about echo chambers created and curated by each platform’s algorithms and engagement metrics.

While I abandoned my personal social media accounts a few years ago, I was posting on my "professional" Instagram and Threads accounts until about a month ago.

Meta had become just too metastatic for me.

If I could turn back time, I would’ve stopped a lot sooner.

Instead of curating an online persona, I could’ve spent less time scrolling and more time creating. Less time consuming, more time living.

That said, my two primary platforms—Substack and YouTube—both have social media functionality built-in. And while I play the game to help support my creative habits, I bristle at the constant need to feed the algorithms and react to notifications.

I’m more than happy to respond to fellow human beings, but I do my best to ignore the engagement demands of Algo and his little bot friends.

TIME, TIME, TIME…SEE WHAT’S BECOME OF ME

Time moves forward, and so do we. Mostly. And while it’s tempting to dwell on the “could’ve beens” and “should’ve beens,” I’m choosing to take what I’ve learned and apply it now. Turning back time isn’t possible, but moving forward with intention is.

The vintage music, the rearview-mirror memories, the priceless lessons—they’re all still here, alive and well in my mind. They remind me to focus on what really matters: connection, creativity, and authenticity. And maybe even the occasional Cher anthem.

So here’s to living life with fewer regrets and more wisdom.

Thanks for reading and subscribing,
Clint

ON THIS DAY = SEPTEMBER 28

BIRTHDAYS

1901 – Ed Sullivan = American television host
1934 = Brigitte Bardot = French actor
1938 = Ben E. King = American singer-songwriter and producer
1946 = Jeffrey Jones = American actor'
1964 = Janeane Garofalo = American comedian, actor, and screenwriter
1972 = Dita Von Teese = American model and dancer

EVENTS

1292 = In Ghent, Belgium, John, a knifemaker, is sentenced to be burned at the stake for having sex with another man. This is the first documented execution for sodomy in Western Europe.
1877 = The first lesbian marriage takes place in Nevada when Sarah Maud Pollard, as Samuel M. Pollard, married Marancy Hughes in Tuscarora, Elko County, Nevada Territory.
1945 = Mildred Pierce, starring Joan Crawford, opens at Strand Theatre in NYC.
1968 = The Beatles' single Hey Jude hits #1 and stays at #1 for 9 weeks.
1987 = Star Trek: The Next Generation premieres in first-run syndication.