Vintage photos arenât the only things vintage I love. I also love vintage music.
Lately, Iâve been revisiting the soundtrack of my youth. The 70s, 80s, and early 90s live on in my mind, thanks to some timeless classics.
If I Could Turn Back Timeâperformed by Cher and penned by hitmaker Diane Warrenâstands out as one of my favorites. Ironically, I didnât like it much when it first came out. As a teenager, I couldnât grasp why a 50-something woman performâin a thongâfor a battleship full of sailors. Now, as a 50-something gay man, I totally get it.
(For the record, Cher was in her early 40s when the song dropped in 1989.)
Long story short, the song now makes me think about the things I might have done differently, had I known then what I know now.
IF I COULD TURN BACK TIMEâŚ
I WOULDâVE WRITTEN MORE CONSISTENTLY.
I WOULDâVE TRIED HARDER TO GET TO KNOW MY PARENTS.
I WOULDâVE SPENT MORE ON MENTAL HEALTH THAN SELF-HELP.
I WOULDâVE HAVE CHANGED THE CHANNEL ON ALL âREALITYâ TV.
I WOULDâVE STOPPED USING SOCIAL MEDIA WHEN I LEFT LIVEJOURNAL.
âMAKE THE MOST OF YOUR REGRETS; NEVER SMOTHER YOUR SORROW, BUT TEND AND CHERISH IT TILL IT COMES TO HAVE A SEPARATE AND INTEGRAL INTEREST. TO REGRET DEEPLY IS TO LIVE AFRESH.â
HENRY DAVID THOREAU
There are a few personal and professional relationships I wouldâve worked harder on too, but in the end, I do my best not to have regrets. Everything I did shaped the man Iâve become. For better and/or worse.
While Iâm very much human, a couple of things on my list arenât: âRealityâ TV and âSocialâ Media. Both are in quotes for a reasonâthey're neither reality nor social.
âREALITYâ TV WAS NEVER REALITY
Once upon a time, I thought ârealityâ tv was just a guilty pleasure. No harm, no foul. But ârealityâ TV has warped our collective view of what ârealâ life is.
Having worked (briefly) on a couple of ârealityâ shows years ago, I saw firsthand how dangerous they could be.
Itâs not just that the shows were and are far from reality. They set unhealthy standards for success, beauty, and conflict. Everything always has to be bigger, louder, and more outrageous.
If you stare into a funhouse mirror long enough, youâll start to believe the distorted realities and ridiculous standards reflected back at you.
If I could turn back time, I wouldâve changed the channel and focused more on my own reality instead.
âSOCIALâ MEDIA WAS NEVER SOCIAL
Circa 2001-2005, I used LiveJournal to blog. While not exactly âsocial mediaâ by todayâs standards, like a lot of gay men of a certain age, I became more socialâboth online and in real lifeâthanks to the blogging platform. Those were good times.
Iâm not sure exactly what changed, but I stopped blogging and left LiveJournal.
Over the years, I tried OG social platforms Friendster and MySpace and eventually joined Facebook. With each new platform, I saw âsocialâ media becoming less about connecting with friends and more about chasing likes, followers, and algorithms.
Social media became less about community and more about echo chambers created and curated by each platformâs algorithms and engagement metrics.
While I abandoned my personal social media accounts a few years ago, I was posting on my "professional" Instagram and Threads accounts until about a month ago.
Meta had become just too metastatic for me.
If I could turn back time, I wouldâve stopped a lot sooner.
Instead of curating an online persona, I couldâve spent less time scrolling and more time creating. Less time consuming, more time living.
That said, my two primary platformsâSubstack and YouTubeâboth have social media functionality built-in. And while I play the game to help support my creative habits, I bristle at the constant need to feed the algorithms and react to notifications.
Iâm more than happy to respond to fellow human beings, but I do my best to ignore the engagement demands of Algo and his little bot friends.
TIME, TIME, TIMEâŚSEE WHATâS BECOME OF ME
Time moves forward, and so do we. Mostly. And while itâs tempting to dwell on the âcouldâve beensâ and âshouldâve beens,â Iâm choosing to take what Iâve learned and apply it now. Turning back time isnât possible, but moving forward with intention is.
The vintage music, the rearview-mirror memories, the priceless lessonsâtheyâre all still here, alive and well in my mind. They remind me to focus on what really matters: connection, creativity, and authenticity. And maybe even the occasional Cher anthem.
So hereâs to living life with fewer regrets and more wisdom.
Thanks for reading and subscribing,
Clint
ON THIS DAY = SEPTEMBER 28
BIRTHDAYS
1901 â Ed Sullivan = American television host
1934 = Brigitte Bardot = French actor
1938 = Ben E. King = American singer-songwriter and producer
1946 = Jeffrey Jones = American actor'
1964 = Janeane Garofalo = American comedian, actor, and screenwriter
1972 = Dita Von Teese = American model and dancer
EVENTS
1292 = In Ghent, Belgium, John, a knifemaker, is sentenced to be burned at the stake for having sex with another man. This is the first documented execution for sodomy in Western Europe.
1877 = The first lesbian marriage takes place in Nevada when Sarah Maud Pollard, as Samuel M. Pollard, married Marancy Hughes in Tuscarora, Elko County, Nevada Territory.
1945 = Mildred Pierce, starring Joan Crawford, opens at Strand Theatre in NYC.
1968 = The Beatles' single Hey Jude hits #1 and stays at #1 for 9 weeks.
1987 = Star Trek: The Next Generation premieres in first-run syndication.
FOUND EPHEMERA OF THE DAY
[big heart] [smile] [hug] [kiss]
God bless the sailors of the USS Missouri and their big guns.