The older I get, the more I realize how much I need hugs. And kisses.
Not necessarily in a romantic or sexual way. But in an affectionate, “I’m glad you’re here” kind of way. A brotherly love kind of way. The kind that says, “You matter to me.”
When I was younger, I enjoyed hugs and kisses, but I probably wouldn't have admitted I needed them. I spent too many years trying to prove how independent I was, convincing myself I didn't need anyone.
Somewhere along the way, I confused self-sufficiency with emotional distance.
Age has a funny way of correcting those misconceptions.
Now I understand that affection isn't a luxury. It's a necessary part of being human.
There's something almost magical about a genuine hug. For a few seconds, the world slows down. Deadlines, headlines, worries, and distractions fade into the background, while you’re sharing a moment with another person, reminding each other that neither of you has to carry life's burdens entirely alone.
A kiss on the cheek. A hand on the shoulder. A long embrace when words aren't enough. These aren't grand gestures. They're love in action.
We often think love has to be dramatic to be meaningful. We celebrate sweeping romances and happily-ever-afters. But some of the deepest expressions of love happen in the quiet, ordinary moments:
A friend who greets you with a hug before asking how you’ve been.
A sibling who kisses your forehead before saying goodbye.
A chosen family member who wraps you in their arms after a difficult day.
None of these moments solves life's problems. But each reminds us that we don't have to face all our problems alone.
As a society, we’ve never been more connected digitally, yet too many of us have never felt more disconnected physically. I sometimes wonder if that's one of the reasons loneliness has become such an epidemic.
We text. We react. We comment. We send emojis and GIFs. But sometimes what our hearts really need is to feel another heartbeat.
In my book, human touch is its own love language.
Of course, affection should always be consensual. Not everyone experiences or expresses love through physical touch, and that’s okay. We all have different comfort levels and different ways of expressing love.
But if physical affection is part of your love language, don't underestimate the power of a hug. Or a kiss.
Don't wait for birthdays, funerals, or airport reunions to hug the people you love. Wrap your arms around your friends. Hug your siblings. Kiss your parents if you're lucky enough to still have them. Embrace your chosen family.
Life has taught me that we never really know how many chances we'll get.
So these days, when I see someone I love, I hug them a little longer than I used to.
Because affection isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a superpower. It’s love in action.
So hug freely. Kiss kindly. Tell people they how much they matter to you.
You never know how much either of you might need it.
Keep calm and get your hugs on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
NSFW MONTAGES = On Substack
SFW MONTAGES = On YouTube
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
08-03 = Nyla Rose (1982- ) = American wrestler and actor 🌈
08-03 = Rupert Brooke (1887-1915) = English poet 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.”
Rupert Brooke
Clint, Funny you should talk about this today. I just the other day became aware that my tough/hug quota has not been being met. Since my Gregory passes, and we were very touchy/feely, I miss the pysicality of the relationship. I am content on living and being alone but turns out the inate need to be touched continues, even after ten years of Gregory's absence.
I have my cat and we do a lot of touching. Her soft fur and the purring beneath it meet some of my needs. My massage therapist, weekly hour massages, help also. Whenever I get together with friends, the visits are always begun with a hug.
What is not being met are anonymous hugs, if you know what I mean. Will need to think about that one. I am currently attending physical therapy session for a bad knee. One of the stretches involves lying on the side of the therapy table and letting the outside leg hand over for 20 seconds. When I first did this, it was too painful so the male physical therapist held it at the point where the pain stopped. It was NOT sexual, maybe sensual, maybe inherently human but as he was supporting my leg, I realized it felt good to be touched by a stranger.
I do not want to return to anonymous sex, no GRINDER, no bathhouses, bar back rooms, not public toilets. I do not need to "get off". Rather I need to be touched, be hugged, be held. I wonder if there is a "Hold Me Close Club" or organization at which I could sign up ... or maybe I'll just get another cat?
Fondly, Michael
P.S. You might see this as an upcoming post on my Substack 🤪
Yea, verily!