Hooked On A Feeling?

A Wee Ennui + One-Size-Fits-All Advice

I don’t know about you, but lately, me and some friends have been hooked on a feeling. And not the good kind.

Maybe it’s early-onset Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Or maybe it’s the Election (Red, White, and) Blues.

Whatever it is, there seems to be a collective sense of “meh” and misery hanging in the air (today and tonight). You know, that restless, stuck-in-a-rut vibe that can drown you unless you’re able to dance or doggy-paddle fast enough.

I’ve been trying to channel that 1990s Ooga Chaka Baby energy. Remember that little guy? He always put a smile on my face back then... and still does today. Oh, to be that happy and sappy! If only I were made of pixels and frames instead of flesh and bone, it might be easier.

But I am what I am. Yet, is that all that I am?

Everywhere I turn, there are constant reminders that I need to be positive, do more, try harder, and work smarter. The weight of it all—mostly from supposed “experts,” “gurus,” and “pundits”—makes me want to scream.

All I want is to create more content that celebrates history and love.
Truly. That’s. All. I. Want. To. Do.

As for the so-appointed experts, gurus, and pundits, there’s always someone eager to sell you their “new and improved” snake-oil.

The secret to their success is getting people to pay for advice on how to live, how to think, how to vote, and how to work. From what I've seen, most of these salesmen don’t know much—and yet I still fall for their pitches more often than I’d like to admit.

Their pitches usually end up in bitches, glitches, and/or stitches.

One-size-fits-all, do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do advice isn’t helping anyone. In fact, it’s part of the problem, not the solution. All those productivity hacks and "tips-and-tricks" to manifest a better life? They give me a headache—and send me straight for the aspirin.

And the constant flood of canvassers, celebrities, politicians, and pollsters trying to tell me who to vote for? No thanks. Already voted. Now get off my lawn and out of my email and messages before I file a restraining order.

For the record, if there are any undecided voters left, I have no idea what’s going to sway them. Maybe this “limited-edition” mugshot trading card from my least-favorite convicted felon?

“Never surrender!” huh? The con, grift, and struggle are real.
Mighty real and mighty “reality tv” too.

My solution? Make more montages—for both Substack and YouTube. And focus on the good vibes from the majority of kind folks who enjoy my work. And try to ignore the vocal minority of negative ninnies.

Misery may love company, but I sure don’t love misery.
I barely tolerate it…even in myself.

As I see it, the real issue is that most advice doesn’t consider the nuances of our daily lives or personal circumstances. Not everyone has the time for morning pages or even meditations. Not everyone can afford life coaches or mental health professionals. Not everyone wants to be a Type-A productivity machine or believes every emotion needs to be “hacked” into something positive.

The truth is, trying to force myself out of this mood by following the latest guru’s advice or repeating “cheer up” mantras doesn’t really help. And yet, I find myself sharing it with my nears, dears, and queers, hoping it will work for them. And I’m hopeful it will.

I want to believe in the quick fixes, because the alternatives—making progress slowly-if-unsurely or sinking into the quicksand—doesn’t sound like much fun either. Sure, a positive outlook helps, but forcing a fake smile only works for so long. Eventually, you have to figure out—usually on your own—what actually makes you want to dance with (or without) somebody again.

Some days, you’re just going to feel stuck. That’s life, right?

To me, one-size-fits-all advice fails because we’re not all the same. Our moods aren’t the same. Our lives aren’t the same. Some of us are carrying heavier loads than others. And it’s okay to admit that we all feel sad, frustrated, or just plain tired of the grind sometimes.

This old dog is still learning to accept those “meh” days and the sad moments without (too much) guilt or shame. I’m giving myself permission to let the (election) blues play out rather than forcing myself into a fake good mood.

That said, I’m also happiest making stuff. So I’m gonna keep that doing too.

The Ooga Chaka Baby could groove endlessly to “Hooked on a Feeling,” but even a once-famous animated baby would get dizzy from dancing in circles and eventually have to grow up, right?

So, when the next wave of one-size-fits-all advice hits my feed, I’m going to remind myself that it’s okay to be exactly where I am and to be who I am.

Some days, being “hooked on a feeling” means leaning into it—blues and all.

Maybe the best advice is to let ourselves feel whatever we’re feeling, and trust that it will pass when it’s ready. And when it does, we’ll be ready to dance again—alone or with somebody.

Whatever works for you, I hope we can all dance in our own days and ways.

Thanks for reading and watching!
Clint

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ON THIS DAY = OCTOBER 21

BIRTHDAYS

• 1833 = Alfred Nobel = Swedish chemist and engineer, invented dynamite and founded the Nobel Prize

• 1925 = Celia Cruz = Cuban-American singer

• 1942 = Judy Sheindlin = American judge and television host

• 1956 = Carrie Fisher = American actor and writer

• 1976 = Andrew Scott = Irish actor

• 1983 = Aaron Tveit = American actor and singer

• 1988 = Glen Powell = American actor

CELEBRATIONS

• LGBTQ History Month

• Back To The Future Day

• National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day

EVENTS

• 1964 = George Cukor’s My Fair Lady is released in theaters.

• 1979 = The New York Times reports 18 boxes of recently-unsealed correspondence between Eleanor Roosevelt and American journalist Lorena Hickok will be the subject of a book by Doris Faber.

• 1983 = Francis Ford Coppola’s Rumble Fish is released in theaters.

• 1983 = Through a spokesperson, the Orthodox Eastern Church in the United States threatens to withdraw from the National Council of Churches if the predominantly gay and lesbian Metropolitan Community Church is allowed to join. In response, the council decides to table the group’s application for membership.

• 1988 = Mystic Pizza is released in theaters.

• 2005 = In State v. Limon, the Kansas Supreme Court strikes down a clause of the state’s “Romeo and Juliet” law that punished underage sex more severely if it involved homosexual acts.

• 2016 = Barry Jenkins’ Moonlight is released in theaters.

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