
Like a lot of my dears, nears, and queers, my dad passed away a long time ago, so I consider Fatherās Day more of a memorial day than a celebration.
I tend to spend much of the day thinking about him, turning over moments both meaningful and mundane in my mind, realizing just how much of him lives on in me. For better and worse. The stubbornness. The bad dad jokes. The kindness. And the impatience. Yeah, I learned it all from watching my old man.
I also like to listen to songs that remind me of my old man ā the stuff he loved and the stuff that drove him up the wall. I was that kind of kid. Songs on repeat? Instant eye-roll. Extended dance remixes? Pure torture. He often reminded me he bought me a Walkman for a reason: headphones.
But those moments ā him hollering from the other room to āturn that shit down!ā ā are the ones I cherish now.
Music brings people together, right? One way or another.
While he was devouring science fiction hardbacks, I was knee-deep in non-fiction paperbacks about art, culture, and history. We both needed stories to understand the world, just from various corners of the bookstore and/or library.
Right now, Iām reading I Was Better Last Night, Harvey Fiersteinās memoir. And let me tell you: Itās got all the bite and brilliance youād expect from Harvey. I highly recommend it, especially if youāve ever felt like a square peg in a round-hole.
So today, I raise a glass (okay, maybe two) to all the fathers and father-figures. The bio-dads and chosen dads. The daddies and the papa bears.
Whether yours is still with us or just with you in spirit, I encourage you to share a story about him. Funny, sad, sweet, weird ā it all matters.
Thatās how we keep them close. Thatās how we carry them forward.
Happy Fatherās Day!
Clint šāļø
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ON THIS DAY = JUNE 15
BIRTHDAYS
1479 = Lisa del Giocondo, Italian model and subject of the Mona Lisa
1835 = Adah Isaacs Menken = American actor, painter and poet š
1884 = Harry Langdon, American actor, director, and screenwriter
1917 = Lash LaRue, American actor and producer
1937 = Waylon Jennings, American singer-songwriter
1941 = Harry Nilsson, American singer-songwriter
1949 = Simon Callow = English actor and director š
1951 = Steve Walsh, American singer-songwriter
1954 = Jim Belushi, American actor
1955 = Julie Hagerty, American model and actor
1969 = Ice Cube, American rapper, producer, and actor
1971 = Bif Naked = Canadian singer-songwriter and actor š
1973 = Neil Patrick Harris = American actor and singer š
EVENTS
1878 = Eadweard Muybridge takes a series of photographs to prove that all four feet of a horse leave the ground when it runs; the study becomes the basis of motion pictures.
1987 = The New York Times decides to allow its writers to use the word āgayā as an adjectival synonym for āhomosexual.ā
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
National Beer Day (UK)
Pride Month (ongoing)
PORTRAIT + QUOTES OF THE DAY
āI'm probably my biggest critic. I worry that if you spend any quality time reveling in good things then karma will slap you upside the head, so I try to stay as even keel as I'm able.ā
Neil Patrick Harris
āWhat defines a relationship is the work that's involved to maintain it, and it's constantly changing.ā
Neil Patrick Harris
Heyas Clint, I'm glad you had a more complete relationship with your dad than I had with mine. My father was a good provider, he had to be, my mum made sure of that as mum was the home maker. However it wasn't a close or loving relationship and I never worked out what the relationship was ment to be like. No obvious mentoring from him. He died fairly young and so it came to pass I never got to ask/question him about life and stuff. Sadly I can speculate, but never know, his thoughts/fears, and I guess that's my legacy too, shutting people out, the comfort of an Ivory Tower. Cheers from a deeply philosophical DougT š«š“š¬š§
Thanks Clint, Harvey, Neil, and Simon Callow. Callow has a video about Orson Welles and the theater that is really good.