Getting Clear(er) About Clint
When Your Pseudonym Is More Popular Than You Are
Somewhere between long stretches of the I-5 and even longer stretches of my own thoughts, I read the article linked above about a successful author who finally “came out” as her real self.
The article got me thinking about something I’ve been quietly noodling on for a bit: the growing tension between my artist name and my real name.
I was born Brian in 1972, and I created “Clint” in 2023 for a simple reason: protection. Not from strangers on the internet, but from the familiar, prying eyes of some family, friends, and colleagues who I would rather not have front-row seats to everything I create.
Clint was my way of carving out a creative space to explore and play without unwanted attention or criticism. He’s a version of me with fewer filters, fewer second guesses, and fewer fucks about who might be watching.
If I’m honest, there’s not much difference between Brian and Clint beyond the name. Both of us are queer, creative only children from the once-great state of Texas who moved to California as soon as they could.
And just to be clear, Clint wasn’t born out of shame. Not even a little. I’m proud of the montages and videos I create. They’ve brought me and others much joy, peace, and a sense of community.
In a world that often feels relentlessly chaotic and cruel, there’s something grounding about capturing frozen moments of male beauty and desire. About seeing men across decades and centuries and being reminded of our shared humanity. That matters to me.
Clint isn’t a character I perform. He’s not a mask. He’s just me with fewer edits and fewer fucks to give. The stories I tell are my stories. The people I write about are my people, my friends, my chosen family. Sometimes I change names to protect their privacy, but the heart of it all is very much real. Sometimes even mighty real.
Some have known me as both Clint and Brian for a while now. Doug, Ray, Victor, John, and quite a few of my dearest, nearest, and queerest. They have witnessed the overlap and sometimes the tension. They have held my “secret” and I’m more grateful for their discretion than I can say.
So what’s the conflict? Honestly, it’s the silly secrecy of it all. The constant mental tally of who knows what and who calls me which name. It’s starting to feel more than a little dumb.
I don’t really care anymore who knows what or what anyone calls me. When I was in the cave, everything seemed to matter too much. Now? Not so much.
“Clint vs. Brian” isn’t about identity. It’s about boundaries.
So here’s where I’ve landed, at least for now:
All my independent creative work will live under the “Clint” banner.
Clint gets to be the artist Brian never quite managed to be. Not for lack of trying, but because Brian got pigeonholed as a work-for-hire costumer, production assistant, assistant director, web designer, graphic designer, and/or art director.
And while I’m damn good at all those things, they’re limiting labels and lives.
I want more than designing ads and logos and packaging or dressing an actor for their latest role…especially for the rest of my life. I want to make montages, write books, shoot photos, and, for fuck’s sake, even finger-paint if I feel like it. I want my creative life to be messy, tender, and still feel safe.
Brian hasn’t always felt that kind of safety. He learned, sometimes the hard way, to second-guess, to self-censor, to edit himself before anyone else got the chance. I know I’m not the only one who understands what that feels like.
And lately, Brian has started to feel less like a separate identity and more like Clint’s older brother. The one who’s a little more cautious, a little more protective, a little more concerned with consequences. The one who’s been through some things and is still trying to make sense of them. There’s care there. There’s history there. But there’s also a tendency to hover.
So Brian is shifting into something more private and quiet. Freelance gigs here and there, maybe. But not posting or publishing in the same way Clint does.
And no, I’m not sharing my last name publicly. For now, anyway.
Partly because I don’t feel like making it any easier for someone to dox me. Partly because I don’t want my former work-for-hire life tangled up with my more personal creative work. And partly because…I’m still figuring some things out, y’all.
I’m also in the process of looking for the right therapist to help me unpack some of what Brian has been carrying around for too long. The idea is that Clint doesn’t have to hold onto all of that shit. And neither do you.
Because if I’m being honest, I’m more than a little tired of hearing about my own mental health struggles.
This isn’t some dramatic reinvention. It’s more like a gentle sorting. A way of getting clearer about what belongs where, and who gets to see which parts of me.
Clint and Brian aren’t at war. We’re still just figuring out our “content creator journey.” One step at a time.
Keep calm and carry on,
Clint (+ Brian) 🌈✌️
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
04-15 = Bessie Smith (1894-1937) = American singer and actor 🌈
04-15 = George Platt Lynes (1907-1955) = American photographer 🌈
04-15 = Henry James (1843-1916) = American writer 🌈
04-15 = Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) = Italian painter, sculptor, and architect 🌈
04-15 =Linda Perry (1965- ) = American singer-songwriter and producer 🌈
04-15 = Luke Evans (1979- ) = Welsh actor and singer 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“…If ever I am to be a successful photographer, exuberance and fantasy, or qualities of that order, will be the making of me, rather than calculations and impassivity.”
George Platt Lynes
A Clint-umdrum. Pen names have been around forever. Sometimes having separate identities is the correct way to go. Obviously only you can decide. The world of us queer folx is still far from perfect in relation to acceptance by others. For me, at a certain point I said FUCK IT. I am too old to care. No longer in the trenches of elementary school teaching, with most of my family dead, I no longer care who knows what and if my stories can support the younger generations and remind the older ones, mission accomplished. Fondly Michael
🤠 😎