I’ve been staring at my suitcase like it is both a mirror and a mood board, convinced that every shirt, shoe, and sunscreen bottle reveals something about who I plan to be at sea. Packing should be simple, but apparently I’ve turned it into a full-scale identity audit. Will I be the relaxed sun-lounger? Or the late-night party peacock? Or the man reading his Kindle in the hot tub? Ideally, yes. All of the above.
Trust me, if you were in the room, you would hear the hum of determination. This trip isn’t just about sailing. It is about starting the journey on my own terms.
Because last time? Embarkation day was not a vibe I’d like to repeat. It was less “Bon voyage!” and more “Why am I sweating my ass off in a parking lot two zip codes away from the port and the ship?”
My friends and I were only a few minutes behind schedule, and yet we spent hours waiting to be shuttled from a distant parking lot. It was a total clusterfuck that I would rather not repeat.
So this time, I’m flipping the script. I am up early to finish packing and hit the road. Not because I expect to board early (Norwegian has emailed me three times to tell me I can’t), but because I refuse to park in a different time zone again. They can deny me early access, but they can’t deny me a space where I can lovingly pat my car goodbye before heading off to drink my body weight in frozen cocktails.
Yes, I want princess parking. Yes, I am willing to show up like a Disney adult at rope drop to get it. Slap some sequined ears on me—I’m prepared to queue with purpose.
Technically, I’m still on dry land, wrapping up admin tasks and stuffing socks into corners of my suitcase. But mentally? I’m already at the pool bar with a mojito in one hand and a burger in the other, floating somewhere between Booze Cruise and Snooze Cruise, blissfully unconcerned with anything resembling real life.
Sometimes the journey begins before the ship pulls away from the dock. Sometimes it begins the moment when we decide we deserve rest, joy, sun, and an adult beverage served in a pineapple.
It’s almost time to booze, cruise, and—hopefully—snooze.
Bon voyage to my dears, nears, and/or queers!
Clint 🌈✌️
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Clint, Hasta La Vista in a week's time, enjoy, Cheers DougT 🇫🇴🇬🇧
Again, Bon Voyage. Promise me that you won't be going on a Disney Princess Cruise in the near future (unless of course you want to)! Fondly, Michael