Building A Better Circus
Sad + Scary Clowns = Begone!
“Politeness and civility are the best capital ever invested in business. Large stores, gilt signs, flaming advertisements, will all prove unavailing if you or your employees treat your patrons abruptly. The truth is, the more kind and liberal a man is, the more generous will be the patronage bestowed upon him.”
P. T. Barnum
PROLOGUE = ALL THE WORLD IS A…CIRCUS?
Step right up, folks! Even P. T. Barnum would have a hard time believing the current cast of The Greatest Show on Earth: Media Circus Edition. Barnum may have liked “freaks,” but even he wouldn’t have cast this crop of asshats and oligarchs.
The friendly clowns, strongmen, and trained monkeys have been replaced by sad and scary clowns, con men and grifters, and chaos agents and monkeys. And they are all flinging shit at the wall to see what sticks/stinks. They’re here to rape, pillage, and steal as much as possible before burning the whole damn circus tent to the ground.
Every time I think the cult of personality can’t sink any lower—surely the meme coin debacle was a teachable moment, right—I’m proven wrong. Time and time again.
So instead of doomscrolling through their latest disasters, I decided to imagine a better (media) circus. One that doesn’t remind me of a mashup of Dr. Strangelove, Apocalypse Now, and Schindler’s List.
ACT ONE = THE LION, THE TIGER, AND THE BEAR—OH MY!
Forget political parties. Let’s get back to Animal Kingdom parties.
The Lion leads with courage, the Tiger brings strategy, and the Bear brings strength. Together, they govern with a balance of fierce ferocity and timeline wisdom. They’ve got no time for debates. These majestic beasts are here to keep the world in check.
Bonus? They’re way more photogenic than a clown car of power-hungry asshats.
ACT TWO = THE BROKEN JUGGLER GOES TO WASHINGTON
You know that politician who keeps dropping the ball? Yeah, all of them.
Well, maybe Michael Rayner can teach these dumb dogs some new tricks.
And if not, he can always perform his flaming cheeseburger trick.
ACT THREE = GAGGING OVER LADY GAGA’S “ABRACADABRA”
For the grand finale, Lady Gaga, donning her finest latex and lace, gets the party really started by loudly and proudly announcing: “The category is ‘Dance Or Die.’”
What a frenetic, magical return to form for the pop music superstar!
With each beat, step, and word, Gaga casts a spell that makes me wanna dance (with or without somebody). I bet even the Clutch-The Pearls Posse are secretly shaking their moneymakers to this pop art bop.
Lady Gaga’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
And, yes, her moves are likely better than yours.
But “Dance Or Die” anyway…okaaaaaay?!?
EPILOGUE: REALITY USED TO BE A FRIEND OF MINE
While this kind of circus might only fly in places like Las Vegas, I still want to grab some peanuts and popcorn.
Because this is my kind of three-ring circus.
At least in my vivid, technicolor imagination.
Whatever kind of circus you prefer, just say no to scary clowns. And doomscrolling.
Have a magical day!
Clint 🌈✌️
QUESTION OF THE DAY
Who would YOU like to see in YOUR three-ring circus?
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
ON THIS DAY = FEBRUARY 4
BIRTHDAYS
1881 = Fernand Léger = French painter and sculptor
1902 = Charles Lindbergh = American pilot and explorer
1905 = Jared French = American artist and photographer 🌈
1913 = Rosa Parks = American civil rights activist
1921 = Betty Friedan = American author
1923 = Conrad Bain = Canadian-American actor
1929 = Jerry Adler = American actor, director, and producer
1936 = David Brenner = American comedian, actor, and author
1938 = Martin Greif = American publisher and writer 🌈
1940 = George A. Romero = American director and producer
1948 = Alice Cooper = American singer-songwriter
1951 = Patrick Bergin = Irish actor
1960 = Jonathan Larson = American composer and playwright 🌈
1962 = Clint Black = American singer-songwriter
1977 = Gavin DeGraw = American singer-songwriter
1983 = Hannibal Buress = American comedian and actor
EVENTS
1789 = George Washington is unanimously elected as the first POTUS.
1801 = John Marshall is sworn in as Chief Justice of the United States.
1974 = The Symbionese Liberation Army kidnaps Patty Hearst.
1987 = Liberace dies in Palm Springs, CA, at the age of 62.
1987 = Randy Shilts’ And the Band Played On is published.
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
PORTRAIT + QUOTE OF THE DAY
“There is no future, there is no past.
I live this moment as my last.
There's only us, there's only this.
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
No other road, no other way.
No day but today.”
Jonathan Larson from Rent
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Very inventive and oh so apropos. I don't know if we will survive the vile orange man, but I'm slightly more hopeful today as protests and lawsuits seem to be picking up steam and approval is dropping sharply.
Sage advice, Clint. I am not going to allow the horrors of the day beat me down. I am resisting in every way I can. I will not be intimidated or afraid. I will be a rock in the face of this flood.
Elect a clown get a circus.